#i get this place is... well you know but its very dismissive of the citizens who WILL have to suffer through all this shit

[sylkana]

some people are very unkind :/

[ashprince-of-bel-air]

Rolan week - Day 7: Before the final battle.

Some nice little Rolan smut, i went in a different direction to what I was planning but such is life. @tealfling I hope you enjoy it!

Nsfw and 18+

The battle at Ramazaith’s Tower was over, Lorroakan was defeated. It was a long and arduous fight, one that would never had been accomplished without Lady Aylin, it did help immensely that she had a personal vendetta against him of course, his relentless search for her fuelled her fire, otherwise you would never have defeated him, not without the help of an Asimar on the warpath to protect themselves and their loved ones.

As your party started to regroup after the battle you noticed a familiar face, Rolan whom you had encountered at the Grove and in The Last Light Inn, a prickly fellow to put it mildly, his face was bloody and bruised, it hurt your heart to see him this way, knowing how much he wanted this apprenticeship to only be abused in such a horrible manner. A large sigh escaped your lips, Rolan had led many a vituperative rant against you, annoyed that you were always the one to be the saviour, yet you did not have it in you to just leave him there, injured and alone. Something about Rolan had drawn you toward him, ever since you met him in the Emerald Grove there was a connection, albeit an angry one for now, yet there was something that pulled you towards each other.

Stepping forward you held your own hand out to him, a gesture that you wanted to help, one that he reluctantly accepted allpwong you to help him up, a task that made your heart soar as you smiled at him, hoping to bridge the animosity between the two of you, after all, he would be a helpful asset in the coming battle in Baldur’s Gate, you wanted all the allies you could get and you felt you well deserved him as an ally.

Rolan’s face distorted at you as you helped him up, almost disgusted at the fact he needed your help once again, he brushed your hands off of him as he stood tall and proud before you, not needing your assistance. You stood before him and nodded slowly, the new master of Ramazith’s Tower did not need an outside saviour, it only needed its sorcerer.

Days had passed since Rolan had become master of the tower, a feat he had very much revelled in so far, to hear of how the citizens of Baldur’s Gate revered him as such an accomplished wizard only made you smile and your heart flutter again. Yet such accolades were not enough, Rolan thought he wanted the acceptance of the populace but that didn’t matter to him, what mattered was you, and he did not have much chance to prove it, your time before the battle growing ever shorter. Though he thought that he despised you it was more complicated than that, he felt like he almost craved you, to feel the warmth of your skin upon his own, he could not explain why he felt this way, then again Rolan had never been good with his feelings.

Rolan eventually found you and your party in Sharress Carress, it was not a dignified place for you to stay but it kept you under the radar. As Rolan walked towards you he had to fend off prostitutes and women that would desire such a man as him, they pretended to be overly upset as he walked past and denied them. Eventually Rolan approached your own party, almost blocked from speaking to you by Astarion who has never trusted Rolan, only moving away at your request.

As you stood you dismissed your own party, making it clear that this interaction was a private one, one you were intrigued to behold, thinking your last interaction was the last you would see of him. Before Rolan approached you he ensured that he booked a private room, one that you could both talk to each other in without prying eyes, though words were not what Rolan had in mind, he wanted to address this chemistry between the two of of you and finally put it to rest.

It was a shock to you as Rolan took your hand gently in his as he walked you through the crowd, his grip tightened every time someone would approach you with their own proposition, he was moving quick to take you to the privacy of the room he had rented for the night, away from any prying eyes.

Once you had happened upon the room Rolan had locked the door behind you both, ensuring that there would be no undue disturbances. Before you could ask what he had brought you here for you felt his lips upon your own, his tongue dancing against your lips and entreating them for entrance and his hands roamed your hips, savouring the curves of your body.

You did not take much convincing to let Rolan's tongue have access, you were more than happy to do so. His hands upon you were like a dream come true, making sure to savour his touch and commit it to memory, for you may not feel a tender touch again as you head to face Orin and the Bhaalists on the morn.

You felt Rolan's guiding touch move you towards the bed, the backs of your knees knocking against the bedframe and causing you to fall upon it, making you look up at the firey Tiefling that stood over you. Rolan's eyes had always burned bright, the golden hue of his iris' was almost hypnotic on a good day, now they were positively aflame with passion, raking over your body and admiring your form, you could see the cogs turning in his head over which part of your body he would devour first.

The heavy weight of his body was felt upon your own, Rolan had finally descended upon you. Your neck was the first place to feel his touch, to feel his soft lips upon your skin whilst his sharp teeth nipped you and left marks claiming you as his, if you were to survive the fight against the Mindflayers and the Netherbrain tomorrow then he wanted everyone to know who you belonged to, finally coming to terms with what his feelings were towards you, he wanted you to be his.

The soft nip of his teeth made you moan slightly, squirming with pleasure beneath him, your body silently asking for more and craving to feel him more intimately. As Rolan continued his asault against your neck you felt his hand stroke up the length of your thighs, moving the layers of your dress out of the way. You moaned with desperation as his hand found your core, bucking your hips onto his hand as you were desperate for relief.

A soft rumble of a chuckle escaped Rolan's lips as he continued to kiss your neck, his hand was right where he wanted it to be. As his hands began to explore the sensitive area of your wet folds it made him even harder for you, shuddering at the thought of you being so excited and ready to take him. Rolan buried his head in you neck and bit down softly on your skin so as to stop him from groaning at how good you felt for him, wishing that he could make you feel this way forever.

A few whimpers and begging on your part was all it took to break Rolan's resolve before he positioned his cock at your entrance, moving his own robes to one side and one hand lining himself before your aching core, his other hand holding you down roughly on the bed. Rolan's voice was thick and filled with lust as he spoke to you, calling you a greedy girl before finally thrusting into you.

Rolan's length was thick and ridged, you expected the ridges but didn't think of how good they would feel inside of you, adding to the pleasure that he was already bringing you. His pace was hot and heavy now, desperate for his own release, almost feral as he began to pound hard into you. It was not all one sided, Rolan knew how to use his hands and use them well, his thumb found your clit and helped bring you to climax, feeling your walls start to tighten around him, causing his hands to because rougher and more desperate.

It wasn't long until your own climax was brought forth, the warm feeling of pleasure radiated over your body as you felt Rolan shudder into you, his body collapsing onto your own, breathless with his forehead slick with sweat, errant strands of hair sticking to his wet forehead. You both laid their breathless and fully clothed, clothes that would need washing and attending to, in your haste to feel each other you had no time to remove your dress or his robes.

After bathing and placing on new atire the atmosphere grew strange, like the two of you both wanted to say something yet you had no idea how to do so, ignoring the feeling you both retired to bed and fell asleep in each others arms for the night, content together and enjoying this new feeling you had for each other, happy to feel the warm embrace of another's arms for a change.

Morning broke and you left early, unable to wake Rolan and say goodbye, you knew he would try and talk you out of the battle with the Netherbrain and the mindflayers but it needed to be done. It pained you to leave him alone so peaceful in bed without having said goodbye, you only hoped that he would accept your apology when you hopefully returned to him after the battle was won.

[yellowocaballero]

a while back you mentioned having written ~40k of a steven moon knight fic as well as some of a frenchie fic? i was just wondering if those would ever be posted/shared or if they will stay in google docs superhell forever (also love your work!! your star wars swap au i particularly enjoyed as well as the tma evilcon + associated fics) best of days to you !!

Look at this evilcon fan over here. Deep fucking cut.

Ah, yes I have. The 40k fic was written for Marvel Trumps Hate, and I didn't post it due to some vaguely complicated but not altogether important reasons. The Frenchie fic was the unfortunate victim towards me very abruptly falling out of MK, lmfao. I think all of my fandoms have The One Abandoned Fic that I was working on when I just Got Over the fandom (Human Relations sequel, so cruelly abandoned....).

Kind of a shame, since the Frenchie fic was not bad and just got kinda roadblocked at the end. I've tossed around maybe finishing it when MKS2 comes out and I inevitably get sucked back in. I don't want to post the MTH fic on AO3 right now (maybe in the future when MKS2 comes out and I get sucked back in etc) but there's honestly no reason not to show you...I think...looking back over this, I think I may have decided that the fic's sense of humor was just too insane. It's very.......uh.....

Uh, ok, just between you and me and other people reading this then. It's a fic about a normal guy who thinks that schizophrenia makes you immortal and autism gives you superpowers.

I'll put it in a follow-up post. In the meantime here's the first few scenes from the Frenchie fic. I really do wanna finish this one day....

“A phone call?”

The jackal barked in elderly confusion.

Steven leaned back in his chair, scratching his stubble. Jake was insisting that they experiment with facial hair and it was best to let him have these little victories. “Well, under the human American law each citizen is entitled to a phone call if they get arrested. That’s probably what he means.” The jackal barked dismissively. “Have you tried telling him that?” The jackal barked again, aggravated. “I see. Quite a pickle. Well, I don’t see any harm in giving him the call. We’d have to warn him that this is a faux legal system and that he’s not entitled to any lawyers, but perhaps he could tell his wife he won’t be home for dinner? That would be nice.”

The jackal growled. 

“We could be nice,” Steven said reproachfully. 

The jackal barked again.

“If you really think about it, nothing’s stopping us. Masters of our own fates and whatnot, right? Well - yes, yes, I know the gods are the masters of our fates, that’s not quite - look, sir, there’s no point in worrying a man’s wife unnecessarily, is there? How would your wife feel if you disappeared off the mortal plane?” The jackal hung its head, and Steven sighed as he stood up. “I’ll lend him my mobile.” The courthouse only had landlines, and even then that was iffy. Magical ancient Egyptian constructs still struggled with 4G. “But if he messes about with my Twitter then we’re adding another thousand years onto his sentence.”

Situations like this were why Steven still showed up to work. This zoo often struggled at little things like this without him. The place had gone to the jackals while he was gone - literally, they had taken over many administrative positions - and it would take months just to clean up the wreckage. Steven didn’t mind - nothing made him happier than a good little routine. Ten to two, that was his preference. Downright inhumane to make a man work any longer than four hours a day. He had even scheduled a deli or restaurant to visit for lunch each day of the week. And Marc and Jake were not allowed. Steven only zone. A man’s office was his castle. Besides - if they knew what he got up to all day they might complain about it. 

The two were deeply asleep - Jake because he found Steven’s entire life dull as dirt and Marc because all of the mandated socialization they were doing lately really took it out of him. Steven found it delightful. Jake’s friends were really nice once you got to know them, and you could reliably get a pained expression out of any of them once you told them so. Marc found their whole thing exhausting and if Jake wasn’t entertained he wanted to die, so around noon the two slept like Alexander the Great’s mummy. Might as well build them little tombs. That was cute. Steven knew exactly what his own tomb would look like. He was practically a pharaoh and everything - maybe Khonshu would make sure he got one? No, Khonshu didn’t care about them nearly that much. Boy, but wouldn’t that be nice.

He gave the Bast statue guarding the elevator its usual nose pat, he smiled and waved at the lumbering shabtis, and he stopped and said his usual ‘hello how are you how’s Nephthys Osiris talking to you again yet’ to the Set statue as the jackal gave him the stink eye for holding them up. Kindness was key, Mr. Jackal. Steven believed in positive Steven-god relations. He lived in hope that the other gods would model good behavior for Khonshu and eventually sway him into becoming less of a dick. 

The ibis perched adorably in a little booth checked his identity as it picked up a little visitor’s badge with his beak and dropped it into Steven’s outstretched hand. It pecked at the computer keyboard a few times, accomplishing nothing other than mangling the G and H keys, and a series of papers ground out of the ancient fax machine. Steven cautiously reached over and fetched the papers, scanning them. They were details of the prisoner’s case, which made Steven feel a bit like one of the Forbidden Lawyers. The jackal led him down the winding paths of the jail as Steven fumbled in his pocket for his glasses, squinting down at the pages. 

“Well, this doesn’t seem too nasty,” Steven announced. “I’m sure we can get this sorted out. Certainly not a problem for our Jake, eh?” He looked at the jackal out of the corner of his eye. “Eh?” The jackal did not respond. “Right?”

Steven made the executive decision that this was a bureaucratic issue and therefore not a Marc or Jake issue. They’d just over-involve themselves and pretend they knew anything about the fake legal system. Marc and Jake were like baby brothers playing video games with you on an unplugged controller. They needed to feel like they were doing something or they’d throw a hissy fit. 

The jackal didn’t have to stop and point out the prisoner. Steven could hear him from all the way down the hall: empathetic, pointed, and incessant French patter. The man sounded like he was arguing against a parking ticket, which displayed a disappointing lack of cognizance as to the severity of his situation and the high likelihood that he was about to experience extrajudicial horrors beyond his imagining. 

Poor guy. Imagine being from France. 

For the first time in Steven’s life his shaky French that he could not actually remember learning but that Marc and Jake did not know actually came in handy. As he got closer he could more or less puzzle out what the fast talking man was saying to the two unamused and unswayed jackals. Could the jackals speak French? It had to be some magic thing. The only animals around here who could actually talk to the humans and explain to them what was happening were the baboons, and they were never polite about it.

“ - one little call! That is it! I will never darken your doorstep again, I swear it. One phone call - and, maybe, letting me go! We can talk about it, let’s talk about it! You and I, we are reasonable men - jackal, I am a reasonable man and you are a reasonable jackal - unless you are a woman? Are you a woman? You are still a jackal at any rate. You are a very reasonable gendered jackal, and I am innocent of all crimes - and even if you are a nongendered jackal, I do not judge, I have friends of all kinds - if you give me one phone call I may call one of my friends and he can help, I am certain he is friends with very many of you people -”

The man cut off the second Steven walked into view of his cell. The cells were very basic, with only a cot and a toilet and one wall of metal bars. He was standing up against the bars, fighting with the two unamused jackals standing against the cement wall in the hallway. The man’s head jolted away from the jackals and fixed on Steven, forgetting his captive audience entirely. His slicked back hair was frayed and mussed, gelled strands sticking up every which way, and his blonde mustache twitching in surprise as his eyes widened.

Steven was sympathetic. Human prisoners were always shocked to find a real bloke around the place. 

He waved a bit awkwardly, his reading glasses flopping in the air. In shaky and awkward French, he said, “Bonjour! My name is Steven Grant. And you are…” He shoved his glasses on, squinting down at the intake form. “Jean-Paul Duchamp?” He pronounced it ‘Jean Paul Dew-Champ’, and judging from the man’s twitch he had mangled it. Oh well. “Right. Do not worry, everything will be fine. You wanted a phone call? I have a phone for you.”

The man stared at him. Steven silently suffered this. He knew he was attractive. 

Finally, the man said in accented but thankfully perfect English, “I have changed my mind. May I speak with you in private, Monsieur Grant?”

The three jackals barked simultaneously. Steven rolled his eyes. Honestly! He knew he was the Avatar of Khonshu now, they didn’t need to be like that! “I don’t think that’s allowed. For security reasons and all. Not that there’s anything you could possibly do to me.” A grizzled jackal with one eye barked. “Emotional - hey! I would have you know that my Myers Briggs said I was the resilient type!” Steven considered the matter for a second. “Oh, but I did have a bad horoscope today. Maybe you’re onto something. Do we have any augurers on staff?”

“Excuse me,” Jean-Paul butted in, increasingly wild eyed, “Do you care to explain what is going on, Monsieur Grant? Because the only explanation I’ve received so far was from paperwork on papyrus and a rude baboon.”

Why was he saying his name like that? The French were so weird.  Steven leaned down slightly to whisper in the nearest jackal’s ear. “And he must have been really bad if a French guy is calling him rude.” The jackals cackled. Jean-Paul’s eye twitched. “Never fear, Mr. Duchamp. I’m sure we can get this whole thing sorted out before supper. Let’s review the details of your case, shall we?” 

“What case?”

“Oh, you’re in an ancient Egyptian courthouse for ancient Egyptian crimes,” Steven said vaguely, sliding on his reading glasses and flipping through the pages again. “Yes, the Egyptian gods are real, no they are not aliens, you better believe in ghost stories Ms. Swan you’re in one, etcetera. Alright, alright…I see…ah! There we are! Charged as accessory to one count of tomb raiding…oh, just a little asterisk here, let’s see what that’s all about…you stole from a children’s hospital!?”

“I did not know that is what we were doing!” Jean-Paul cried. “Someone tells me to fly a medical helicopter, I do not ask questions! If I made a habit of interrogating every one of my clients I would not have a great deal of clients, monsieur!”

“Organs from a -”

“It is called professionalism!” 

“It’s called evil!” Steven said, appalled. The jackals barked in agreement. “I have to say, Mr. Duchamp -”

“It’s doo-shamp. And John-Paul. Mon frere.”

Oh wow, oh no, sorry for the French microaggression. Honestly. “If it wasn’t for the fact that you betrayed your clients the second you discovered what they were stealing and refused to pilot them away you would be facing the same punishment they are. It’s quite karmic. Do you  know what Egyptian canopic jars are used for?” Jean-Paul looked a little queasy. “Exactly. Do you still want that phone call, Mr. Duchamp? You’ll receive your sentence from Thoth with or without it.”

“Then why give it to me?” Jean-Paul asked waspishly.

Steven shrugged. “I wouldn’t want your husband to worry.”

“Rest assured, I am quite single.” Jean-Paul stuck his hand out through the bars. “Give it here.”

Steven pulled up the phone function on his mobile and passed it to Jean-Paul, ignoring his thoughtful expression. He tried to convey ‘mess with my phone and I’ll mess with you’ through rigorous eyebrow tilting, but he knew he was very bad at it. 

Jean-Paul stepped back, swiping on the mobile. It did not look like he was punching in a number. Steven abruptly became anxious that he was snooping on Steven’s mobile. He had remembered to delete his text history with Layla, right? Right?!

He typed something on it before looking up, holding it up oddly to show Steven the screen before passing it back to him. “I changed my mind. No need for a call. Thank you for lending me your phone, monsieur, but it was unnecessary.”

The screen was open to the notes app. Steven abruptly felt like they were passing notes in class. Except not quite, because Steven was the Avatar of an Egyptian god and the other party was in jail for magic crimes. The note read -

marc what is the plan

Oh. Oh!

Steven looked up, and now he could clearly read the man’s irritated ‘why are you looking surprised, this is a matter of utmost secrecy’ eyebrow twitch. “Goodness, I’m so sorry. The egg is really on my face here, I’m so embarrassed.” He looked down at the jackal next to him, who twitched its ears attentively. “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. It seems -”

Steven stopped short. 

This man knew Marc. He now knew Steven. Marc really, really, really hated it when this happened.

Marc had spent the vast majority of his life masking. His family had been big believers in the ‘never talk about it and pretend it doesn’t exist’ school of mental illness, which had resulted in a great deal of very terrible problems. Marc did not learn from any of these problems and continued to hide the DID from everybody he had ever met up to and including his own wife for a depressing yet impressive length of time. Steven hadn’t really agreed with the wife decision, because it was a slightly huge aspect of their lives that was very much Layla’s business, but Marc believed in privacy. Steven couldn’t fault him for that. 

It wasn’t anybody’s business if Marc didn’t want it to be their business and they were not Marc’s actual wife. Jake spouted off about shame and internalized ableism, which was undoubtedly true, but nobody was really entitled to his health information. He had the right to self-disclose when he wanted and to who he wanted. Steven only wished that this reasonable desire did not lead to sitcom-esque hijinks as they all switched mustaches and pretended to be each other. Sometimes literally. Jake had his whims.

Marc wouldn’t want this random pilot knowing personal stuff about him. He was probably just some colleague he had worked with one time and never saw again. And Steven was very dedicated to helping Marc and making his life easier, just like Marc was dedicated to helping Steven and making his life harder. Jake was dedicated to being a bully. 

Being involuntarily outed was traumatic for Marc. The last time it happened he fell asleep for four weeks and plunged Steven into a Jake induced nightmare. What if he went back to sleep? What if he never woke up this time? What if he left Steven alone with Jake forever? He couldn’t take that chance.

Marc didn’t have to find out about any of this. No point in stressing him out over nothing. 

In a stunning show of cunning, cleverness, and subtlety, Steven looked down at the jackal next to him. “Actually, can I talk with Mr. Duchamp in private? There’s some things we need to discuss.” The jackal asked what. “Human things.” The jackal asked why it had to be private. “They’re private human things.” Steven paused a beat. “Like periods. We’re going to talk about our periods.”

The jackals knew enough about humans to know that periods were private human things and not enough to know that cisgender men did not get periods. They gave him dubious looks anyway, but when Steven mimed yanking a crescent knife from his chest they obligingly filed out. The grizzled one-eyed jackal turned around and gave John-Paul a gimlet ‘I’m watching you’ eye, but John-Paul just sniffed and looked above it all. French people sure were good at looking snooty.

The second the jackals turned the corner and disappeared from sight Steven took a deep breath and changed. 

He straightened, folding his expression into a deep scowl. He tilted his head forward in Marc’s faux intimidating fashion and affected Marc’s terrible Chicago accent - which was just as fake as Steven’s very real to him British accent, thank you very much! Jean-Paul straightened too, eyes widening again.

“What the hell?” Steven demanded. Ugh. It was hell on the throat to talk like this. “How did you even get yourself into this mess?”

“Me? I am the one in the mess?” Jean-Paul stabbed a finger at Steven, who scowled deeper. “What was that? What is this? Why are you working for an ancient Egyptian courthouse under a false identity?”

“It’s a long story,” Steven snapped. It was really easy to avoid questions as Marc. You just had to be mean. “And it’s none of your business.”

“At this point I think it is very much my business! Jesus, Marc!” Jean-Paul exhaled deeply, rubbing his forehead in a forcible attempt at zen. “What is this, some sort of op? Are you undercover?”

“I said it was none of your business!”

“This is why you don’t run the ops,” Jean-Paul said. Steven was offended on Marc’s behalf. “I am impressed at your acting skills but not at your subtlety.”

“The usual, then,” Steven said wryly. “I’m impressed with your talent at getting arrested.”

“I get it, I get it. Marc Spector twenty, Jean-Paul fifteen. I swear, Marc, only you would get yourself in these predicaments.”

“You’re the one in the predicament. I’m doing fine.”

“My predicament is your predicament.” Why would that be true? He said it so casually, as if it was a given fact. Quite presumptuous of him, in Steven’s opinion. “At least now I don’t have to waste a hope and a prayer that you would pick up your phone this time. How are you going to get me out of this one? They have a giant baboon! Have you seen the baboon!”

“The baboon’s very understanding about my medical needs, so watch it.” Wait - had he wanted to spend his one phone call on Marc? Why? They were talented, cool, and altruistic, but… “Look, I’ll do what I can. But the gods aren’t exactly easy to argue with. I’ve tried to get them to overturn a sentence before and it failed miserably.”

“That’s the first time I’ve heard my friend try to do things the legal way.” Jean-Paul folded his arms. “Just bust me out. Isn’t that more your style?”

What a suck-up. Marc didn’t have friends. Steven smiled anyway, brittle and thin. “Don’t worry, Jean-Paul. I’ll do everything I can to help you. Just please try and understand the position I’m in.”

Jean-Paul stared at him. Steven forced himself to look the other man in the eyes even though it made him uncomfortable. Marc always stared down people he didn’t trust. 

“So, uh,” Steven said, “I better call the jackals back -”

“Please admit you do not know who I am.”

Steven froze. He opened his mouth, then closed it.

Jean-Paul sighed. He kneaded his forehead again, shoulders slumped, but something about the gesture had changed. My predicament is your predicament - what did that mean? “Why didn’t you say - non, non, you would have no reason. Marc, please listen to me.” He looked solidly at Steven, and Steven found himself looking away. “It’s Frenchie. I’m your friend. We met in Afghanistan and we’ve worked together ever since. You’re having another amnesiac episode. This happens to you sometimes and it is nothing to worry about. Do you believe me about this?”

Steven opened his mouth. He closed it.

He couldn’t help it - he hunched his shoulders, clutching at his sleeve and drawing away. “I don’t have friends. You’re lying.”

“Call up Layla and ask,” Jean-Paul said. His voice was even and steady, and it struck Steven oddly. The man was literally in a jail cell about to be Egyptian tortured and he was comforting Steven? Looking out for him in a mental health episode? Did the world contain two Lukes? “Do you know Layla? Your wife? Now there’s a thief for you. I am but a humble pilot in comparison.”

That cinched it. Marc would never tell anybody he didn’t trust about Layla. Much less about what Layla really did for a living.

But Marc didn’t trust anybody. Marc wasn’t supposed to trust anybody. That was Marc’s whole thing. He only trusted Steven and Layla. He only trusted Steven and Layla and - Frenchie? What kind of nickname was that? That was so stupid.

Marc was really bad at naming things. Movie poster, pilfered ID. Frenchie. Jeez.

Steven put it down. He let his shoulders hunch back into their natural slouch, bent his voice back towards its natural tilt, and dropped the mean expression. Despite himself, he groaned. 

“Marc’s going to kill me!” Steven wailed. “He’s going to go to sleep again and leave me with Jake!”

Jean-Paul recoiled, surprise turning into shock. Wow, wow, big surprise. Marc or Jake’s friends freaking out over Steven. Stop the presses.

“He’s gonna blame me for this, you know,” Steven cried. Not whined. Nope. “This is why he doesn’t trust me with anything. As if it’s my fault that his friends keep getting arrested? Maybe I should get a little more recognition for being the only one without delinquent friends. Honestly, I don’t know why we can’t keep better company sometimes. A book club? A Dungeons and Dragons group? Anybody who doesn’t punch people for a living? Is that too much to ask?”

“Hm,” Jean-Paul said. “Your dissociative episodes have grown stranger.”

“What were they like in the military?” Steven asked, morbidly curious. “Marc didn’t even mention amnesia episodes. He can be right frustrating, you know.”

Slowly and carefully, Jean-Paul said, “Do you remember the manic episodes?”

“We’re bipolar?” Steven asked blankly.

“That is what I thought. I do not think I was correct.”

Wait. “Did you think Jake was a manic episode?”

“Jake?”

“The other one,” Steven said helpfully.

“Ah. Yes, I think so.” Jean-Paul paused - not as if he was uncertain, but as if he wasn’t sure how the words would be received. “I understand DID is a very difficult disorder.”

Something tugged at the back of Steven’s mind, then yanked. Steven felt himself fall backwards, and something else surged in him -

*

Frenchie stood in front of Marc, right in every way, wrong only in the eyes - only in the way he was looking at Marc - 

Cautiously, he said, “Steven? You look dazed.”

Dazed. That was what he’d always call it. Whenever Marc zoned out and left his body, whenever Frenchie caught him wandering listlessly around camp with no memory of having even left bed - you look dazed, Marc -

“Do you ever get tired of your front row seat?” Marc asked hoarsely.

But Frenchie just smiled - a little cockily, a little kindly. “The view is quite good.”

Marc couldn’t do this. He never could, he could never do anything - but he couldn’t do this. Humiliation crushed him, Frenchie’s affection and acceptance its strange shadow. The shadow was worse than the weight. It was the shadow he couldn’t handle. He couldn’t handle this. 

He turned on his heel and left, leaving Frenchie alone in the cell with no promise of rescue and no aid given, and he found himself walking faster until he turned the corner. The jackals were still huddled like a football team growling thoughtfully at each other, and they perked up when they recognized Marc. He ignored them, walking through the crowd until they leapt away.

Marc’s walk turned into a run. A drum beat rocked his head, pushing hard at his heart. The beat threw him forward, turning his run into a sprint down the winding cement halls. His desperation reached out and thought of a word, and once he thought it he just couldn’t stop.

Jake. Jake. Jake! Jake, I can’t do it again - Jake - !

*

Marc woke up face first in Jessica Jones’ hair clutching a bottle of Jack.

He yelped, jerking away automatically and falling off the couch with a heavy jolt. The bottle jumped out of its hands, landing on the stained wood coffee table with a heavy thump and rolling against a bulwark of beer bottles. 

Marc bolted upright, ignoring his pounding head to take inventory of his surroundings. He relaxed the second he registered where he was. Heroes For Hire apartment. Morning. Luke Cage was passed out in an armchair, sawing wood. Colleen’s bra was draped across the back of a couch. Did these people do anything other than party?

Jessica flopped over, squinting blearily at him in the morning light. Cars honked outside and traffic blared, the sound cutting harshly into his throbbing head. Jessica waved a hand limply at him. She mumbled something that Marc could somehow translate into ‘what’s your problem?’. 

Nothing. No problem. Not right now, not here. Marc climbed back onto the couch, pushing Jessica aside to reclaim his spot. Amazingly, they were barely even cuddling - their couch was one of those IKEA types that you could just keep adding onto, it was fucking ginormous. He left the bottle of Jack on the table, whiskey slowly sloshing in the glass. Jessica went back to sleep immediately, her warm breaths pressed against his back.

The sunlight faded into night, then nothing. 

*

“ - and that’s why I wouldn’t fuck Mr. Fantastic unless Sue Storm was watching.”

Marc bolted upright.

“I left Frenchie in prison!” Marc cried. 

“Man, what kind of weird dreams are you having?” Danny asked. Marc could hear his voice from behind the couch, accompanied by the rattle of silverware and the hefty scent of bacon. “I can interpret it for you if you want. The prison’s probably a metaphor for -”

“Your psyche,” Colleen intoned. 

“That’s a bit on the nose, don’t you think?” Luke said.

Marc rolled off the couch again, slouching his way to the breakfast table and collapsing in his chair. Somebody put a bowl of cereal in front of him and began shoving it in his mouth. Everybody went back to ignoring him and resumed their conversation about the most fuckable superheroes. 

“Monica Rambeau at the top,” Misty said, for what sounded like the five hundredth time. “Very top. Except my girlfriend.”

“I’m the last heir of a samurai clan, not a superhero.”

“Very top. Monica Rambeau.”

“Do you think the Avengers have these conversations about us?” Danny asked Luke. “Like, they have to, right? I don’t think they’re above it.”

“They have mimosa brunches. Man, you know they do. I don’t want to know what the hell they say about me.”

“One time Hawkeye flirted with me and I snapped his bow over my knee,” Jessica reported. “It’s about controlling the narrative, Luke.” Marc’s hand reached out and swiped bacon off her plate, cramming it into his mouth. “Watch it, asshole!”

“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Luke told him, half-amused. “Who do we got today?” Marc glared at him balefully, but he held up the ASL finger sign ‘M’ anyway. “Good to see you, Marc. You’re the early bird, huh?”

“Jake was complaining about you yesterday,” Jessica told him gleefully, as if she was snitching on her classmate to the teacher for saying the b word. “He told us all about your intimacy issues. Is it true that you yearn for acceptance, yet are terrified of receiving it?”

“And why,” Marc gritted out between clenched teeth, holding his spoon at a vicious angle, “is Jake always telling you my goddamn business?”

“He likes to vent.”

“Then tell him to shut up next time.”

Misty scraped up eggs with her knife primly. “Five times a day seven days a week. Never listens.”

“Five people live in this apartment, there is no such thing as your own business,” Colleen said, dead-eyed. “I haven’t had privacy in a year.”

“It’s not that different from the monastery,” Danny said philosophically. “Smaller, though.”

“Drunker?” Misty asked.

“Not really.”

“Damn. Guess you had to do something without television.”

Marc’s grip on his spoon tightened so hard that his bones creaked. “Then you can just go tell Jake -”

Tell me yourself. 

“Shut up, Jake! You can all tell Jake that next time he decides to overshare -” Hissy fit ten minutes after waking up, new record. “I wouldn’t throw a hissy fit if you stopped doing shit just to piss me off!” You are an egomaniac. “That is so rich.”

“Still weird,” Misty decreed. 

“Yeah, still weird,” Colleen said.

Luke cut into his hash brown. “I’m just glad that they’re all talking again.”

“Totally glad that Jake’s back to his healthy, regular state of talking to himself,” Colleen said. “Maybe soon he’ll become normal and only serial kill on weekends.”

“I know none of you care about my personal drama,” Jake said flatly, “but would a little respect be so outta line for youse?” Jessica mumbled something around her egg. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, woman, have some self-respect.”

“Steven and I were talking about going to the zoo and looking at the sloths,” Danny said brightly. “Do you still want to do that? I want to see them so bad. All we have back home are sloth bears but I don’t think they’re the same animal.”

“Sloth bears?” Misty asked.

“They mostly eat termites and ants, really,” Steven told her, “not nearly as scary as you’re imagining. Quite adorable. But nothing really beats sloths on the cuteness factor.”

“Steven! Good to catch you. When do you want to go to the zoo?”

“Oh, boy, maybe Sunday? Do we have anything on Sunday?”

I was going to get drunk.

Same. 

“Looks like Sunday’s free!” Steven paused a beat, a smile fixed on his face. “You know, fellas, I can’t help but feel as if we’ve forgotten something.”

We forget stuff incessantly, Marc said, tired. Frenchie was always dragging me out of bars I didn’t remember walking inside. 

There’s an alternate explanation for that one.

See, that’s what I thought, but Frenchie never thought so.

“Frenchie!” Steven cried. He jerked onto his feet, sending his plate rattling. “We left Frenchie in prison!”

Danny reached out and patted Steven on the forearm. “It’s okay, Steven. It was just a dream. The French can’t hurt you.”

“Not if they’re in prison, anyway,” Misty said.

Luke, the only one who ever remotely was on topic, put down his fork and looked at Steven. “Who’s Frenchie? Since when do you know other people?”

“He’s my best friend,” Marc said. He scrambled away from the table, faintly registering that he was wearing Jake’s outfit. He and Steven had their own changes of clothes in the guest bedroom, he’d have to take a minute and change. They hated wearing each other’s clothing. It felt so invasive. Jake hated polyester, Marc hated wool, and Steven hated layers in non-freezing temperatures. “Damn it, what kind of friend am I!”

Jessica squinted at him, sipping her orange juice. “Wait, you have other friends? I thought we were your only friends.”

“He’s my friend, not Jake’s. You’re Jake’s friends.”

“I’m not Jake’s friend,” Misty said.

“Jake’s my friend but I don’t like him,” Colleen said. 

“Jake’s my friend and I like him,” Danny said eagerly.

“No comment,” Luke said.

But Jessica just continued squinting at him - as if she could read something between their three faces, unremarkable individually but painting a clear picture together. “This is what stressed you out so bad yesterday, yeah?” Marc shoved the chair back into the table, averting his eyes. “Why don’t I come with you? Like, buffer zone?”

A part of Marc did want her to come. He didn’t know if that part was Jake or Steven or himself. He never knew where to put himself anymore, how to partition out his life into the good and bad. How to fit together Jake and Layla, how to give Steven the reins on the courthouse work, how to fit into the Heroes For Hire in a space carved for Jake yet welcoming of anybody. 

It was so easy. It scared Marc. 

“I can handle my own army buddy,” Marc said gruffly. He bent down and kissed Jessica on the cheek. “I’ll call.”

Marc swept out the door, ignoring Jessica calling “You better!” behind him.

[iwritewhump]

begging for help + hero's doorstep

day twenty-one of whumptember

924 words

warnings: vague talking about potentially risky situations, being kicked out

~

Hero runs a hand through his hair and sighs. He stands up and walks over to the microwave just before it goes off and opens the door. His microwaved mush is done so he takes it out and peels the film off the top, discarding it in the trash. He grabs a plastic fork from its box and makes his way to the living room, past the framed decades old newspapers of his victories on the wall, where he sits down on his couch and turns the TV on to a nature documentary. 

He pulls the lever for the footrest and stirs his dinner, frowning at the chunks of ice in the middle, but he takes a bite nonetheless, tasteless slop is tasteless slop, it doesn’t matter if it's hot or cold. His mouth curls in disgust and he chews slowly, trying to keep his tongue on the roof of his mouth so he can’t taste it. Swallowing thickly, Hero sets the bowl down on the floor and leans back in his chair and stares at his ceiling. He closes his eyes and exhales heavily, allowing sleep to overtake him. 

A noise pulls Hero from his unrestful sleep, he sits up in his chair and slams the footrest down. 

There’s a knock on the door and he takes a step towards it, his foot instantly sinking in something. He looks down at the very same moment he remembers the chunky brown “dinner” he’d set on the ground. He groans and closes his eyes for a second before there’s another knock on the door. 

“Give me a minute!” Hero shouts, pulling his sock off of his foot. He leaves it in the bowl and opens the door. “What?” 

He stares at Villain in front of him and sighs. She looks more tired than he is, her eyes are bloodshot and half closed. Her hair, usually well maintained, is unkempt and tangled, there might even be a few chunks missing, and her clothes look like she stole them off of a clothes line. 

He whistles and leans his head against the doorframe, “What happened to you?” 

She exhales shakily and looks at the ground, then back up at him, “Why do you only have one sock on?” 

Her voice is tired, more tired than he’d ever heard her. Even when she had to postpone one of their fights so she could study, or when she had to bring her backpack with her so she could get back to homework right after. 

“Long story,” he says dismissively, “What are you doing here?” 

She sighs and shakes her head, “Probably a longer one. But you told me when we first met that if I ever needed help with something you’d be able to…help me?” 

He nods, “I did. God that was a while ago, wasn’t it?” 

“Almost two years.” 

“Feels like longer,” Hero says, taking a step aside and waving her into his home. 

Villain steps in and looks around cautiously, eyes wide and searching for anything that might be a trap. She snickers and covers her mouth, stifling laughter. 

Hero follows her eye line and if he wasn’t so tired, he’d be embarrassed at her finding the sock filled microwave dinner on the floor. 

“What kind of help do you need?” He asks, walking into the kitchen and starting a pot of coffee. “Need someone taken care of? I know a lot of the people in Supervillain’s social group aren’t exactly upstanding citizens. Now that you’re not a child anymore they’re probably suggesting a lot of things.” 

“No, nothing like that,” She says with a small smile. “I just…need a place to stay for the night? I kinda-well. The thing is I-I sorta…” she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, “I got kicked out and Supervillain can’t put me up anywhere because all his connections would basically-well you know what they would do to me.” 

Hero nods. He leans against the counter and crosses his arms in front of his chest, staring lazily at the slowly filling coffee pot. He blinks a few times and looks at her, “How do I know this isn’t a trick? A ploy so you can be in my home where my guard is lowered and kill me? All you’ve done for the past two years is try to defeat me. How can I trust your story?” 

Villain’s entire body slumps, her carefully curated mask slips and shatters on the ground beneath her. Tears well in her eyes and sobs start to choke her, sticking in her throat. Her arms, usually super glued to her side, wrap tightly around her stomach and her stomach turns inside of her. 

Hero watches as her facade falls, her entire demeanor changes before he can close his mouth. 

“My story?” Villain hisses, spittle hitting Hero square in the chin. She takes a deep breath and tries to regain her composure. With each breath, Hero’s words echo in her head. “I shouldn’t have come. I’ll leave you alone and figure something else out.” 

Without giving him a chance to try and fix what he’d done, she turns around and walks out of the house. She stops at the door and looks back, tears streaming down her face. 

“I thought you’d believe me. Out of anyone I thought you would believe me.” she sniffles and slams the door behind her. 

Hero runs after her, opening the door and hoping for her to catch his eye. He sighs heavily and shakes his head, closing the door again.

~

part two?

[tips-from-a-tech-worker]

I have redundancies at work just announced. Confused as hell. What can we do?

If you have a recognised union (or even an unrecognised one) that you are a member of, get in contact with them immediately. Odds are, if there is a mass redundancy, they will already know about it.

If there are more than 20 folks being made redundant, the redundancies are in one establishment, and the redundancies are being proposed in a 90 day period, then your employer is required by law to hold a collective consultation. Of course, quite often your employer will not know the law around this, and its worth arguing that you should have a collective consultation anyway. The consultation wont necessarily stop the redundancies, but it gives you time to plan.

Additionally, if anyone who is being made redundant is either pregnant, on maternity/paternity leave, or on adoption leave, then your employer must find alternate work for them if there is any available.

Your employer can only make people redundant if they have no more use for your role. If your employer is looking to use contractors, or alternate provisions to fulfil that role, you can make a fairly good argument that the dismissal is unfair or wrongful. Protections are weird in the UK around this if you haven't worked at a place for at least 2 years, but again with all of this, argue the point anyway.

Your employer probably wont know any of the law around redundancy and it is good to push that fact as a strategy. It is also very useful to be talking to all your co-workers in this process. Make sure everyone knows what is going on, their rights, and what you can all do collectively.

Ideally you will have done some workplace organising beforehand, but these things can happen unexpectantly.

Finally, if you do not have any union representation nearby, join a union as soon as you can (*cough* IWW *cough*). They may not be able to help you with something on such short notice, but it is another strategy to scare the boss shitless if they think you're going to be a problem for them.

See also: https://www.tumblr.com/tips-from-a-tech-worker/725120769477214208/how-do-i-improve-my-workplace?source=share

All of this information is available on the ACAS website, and you can contact them free of charge. Also recommend Citizens Advice as well. Sources used: - https://www.acas.org.uk/redundancy - https://www.acas.org.uk/your-rights-during-redundancy - https://www.acas.org.uk/redundancy-protection-for-pregnancy-and-new-parents - https://www.acas.org.uk/collective-consultation-redundancy - https://www.acas.org.uk/dismissals/unfair-dismissal - https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/redundancy/check-your-rights-if-youre-made-redundant/

Hope this helps!

[wamtorical]

Jemima was approaching her second birthday and was slowly but surely growing bigger. While the loans were far from being fully paid off, they were progressing reasonably well and all seemed fine. In reality, Elmer's job as a nurse proved to be a difficult task, often leaving him home as late as 10pm. He thought it was ridiculous; how would he manage to spend quality time with his lonesome wife and child living like this?

In search of a means to relax, Elmer took up a new hobby: woodworking. Not only could this help save money, but it could help make money should anyone be interested in his creations. His first long-term project was an easel he'd made for Claudia, subtly encouraging her to explore a new hobby and follow in his footsteps. Given the limited activities on the farm, indulging in a little fun wouldn't harm either of them.

Still, the mounting stress was taking its toll hard on Elmer. The weight of his responsibilities became overwhelming and solemnly watching him break down as soon as he stepped foot into the bedroom was an all too common occurrence for Claudia.

She too faced her own set of challenges as she navigated the journey of motherhood, shouldering the responsibility alone most of the time due to Elmer's demanding shifts. Raising a child sure proved to be a tricky task. Jemima's peaceful and quiet nature occasionally granted her moments of respite and during these precious intervals, she managed to carve out time for herself. Leaving the task of nurturing the baby to a trusted friend, Vera Brindleton - patriarch of the proud Brindleton family - had invited her for tea in the local cafe to finally get to know the new family in town ... Even if it had been a few years by now.

The town centre held a special place in Claudia's heart. It offered a stunning view of Brindleton Bay's finest sea and alongside it, a vibrant yet not overwhelmingly crowded atmosphere. The surrounding shops and their nostalgic energy, as if you could sense the citizens that had once roamed the area years back, added to the charm of the place. During their outing, the topic of children had been brought up by Vera.

Vera: "A single babe? And a female, too? That shan't do Claudia, do you know how imporant bearing sons are for us ladies?"

"Should you feel true pride for your country and take the role of a proper English woman, you simply must give birth to future protectors of our land. I've lived by that for as long as I can remember. Do you know how many brothers I have?"

Claudia: "I appreciate the sentiment, Vera, but I believe bearing children is more than just producing human safety nets - Though believe me when I tell you I don't intend to come across hostile. Pregnancy has just never been an easy decision for me."

Vera let out a deep sigh, dismissing Claudia's logic as if it were a mere product of a child's mind in dire need of further education.

Vera: "I love my sons very much. My boys understand just as much as I do their role in society. They must protect us and I assure you they are more than willing to die for Britain. Pride naturally courses through their veins. War is not something to be wished upon, of course, I'm saying it is simply what they were born for." Vera calmly claimed, leaving Claudia wondering how Vera's youngest boy - 6 months - was able to understand the weight of his mortailty to this degree.

Claudia: "But Vera, raising children is ever so hard ... And should war come upon us, I'd hate to see any son of mine leave to fight. My child's life is surely worth more than my country."

"Then you stand alone. You have a kind heart, Claudia, but you lack the ability to see past your emotions. The greater good will always be for, as it suggests, the greater good. No matter what."

After they'd parted, Claudia felt incredibly conflicted. On one hand, she wanted to stay true to her values and on the other, she couldn't help but ponder whether there was any truth to Vera's words. One undeniable fact remained: most women in Brindleton bay possessed sizely families, so just like Vera had put it, she really did stand alone. Perhaps, she thought, it would be better to contribute to this societal norm rather than disappoint the people around her. It was just so scary ... Claudia would have to make up her mind, and fast.

📜 next / previous / first

[mysticalrambling]

Hey there😄😄I hope you are doing well...You did my last request so fabulously🤩🤩So I'm back with another request😅😅It's another arranged marriage request and I think its the most bizarre request I ever had so please be patient with me😂😂 and you can decline the request if you don't feel so😅😅...Ok so here it goes..

*Steve and y/n are required to get married under the marriage law, he doesn't wants to but being the good soldier he obeys the government....they get married but steve is cold towards his wife...his teammates tell him to give his marriage a chance but he ignores them...Then the accords happen and without a care he leaves his wife behind who is heartbroken seeing all this..Then after 2 years he sees her but again he feels nothing but after the snap when he saw losses around him and he gives his marriage a second chance, he starts being civil to his wife and cares for her but they never consumated their marriage...When the time heist becomes successful Steve consumates his marriage with the reader out of happiness and she thinks all is well...Everyone returns from snap and no one dies...But steve returns the stones and stays in the past and old steve comes back.... Heartbroken Y/n refuses to meet him and leaves the compound...turns out she was pregnant with Steve's baby and doesn't wants the old steve to know so...One day old steve sees pregnant y/n who is around 7 months pregnant and realises its his baby, he apologizes but she ignores and turn away from him... He goes to get help from Scott bcz he wants to be with his wife and son now bcz he and Peggy couldn't have kids, everyone thought steve was selfish...But then he tells the truth that he never wanted to stay in past, but when he went to say goodbye to peggy, she abducted him and broke the timetravel apparatus and forced him to stay in the past...Young Steve comes back and now his son is born who is around 8 months old...He attempts to get back with his family but his wife still ignores him and doesn't let him come near her or her son...Steve regrets for not loving his wife in the past and also volunteering for returning the stones...Then one day powerbroker (Sharon) blasts the house where steve's family lived thus killing his family, in way to revenge her aunty peggy...Steve is left with nothing but pain and regret....*

Regretting His Decisions (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: You and Steve get married and he is really rude to you. Then he leaves you behind and goes back to Peggy but he doesn’t realise that you are pregnant. However, Sharon kills you and the baby to avenge her Aunt Peggy and Steve is left with nothing but pain and regret.

Warnings: Angst all the way.

._._._._.

Steve never wanted to marry you or anyone else for that matter. But the government wanted it and like a good Captain, he listened to them. It was the stupid law and he wanted to wring the neck of those who made it. The protectors of the world had to get married so that the world sees them as fellow citizens instead of humans with super powers.

All the Avengers knew that Steve was hesitant to get married and he was doing out of duty. They knew that it was unfair but they all had met you. They all loved you instantly and knew that you and Steve would hit it off. However, the only problem was that he refused to meet you. The only thing that he knew about you was your name and your job occupation. Apparently, it wasn’t worth his time to get to know his to be wife.

“You need to give it a proper chance before you form an opinion.” It was the night of your bachelor party and while everyone is blackout drunk, Steve and Tony just sat on the side couch. For a person who was getting married tomorrow, Steve looked miserable and Tony couldn’t help but interfere.

“I am doing my job and that’s all that matters.” Taking a quick sip from his glass, he didn’t even wince at the liquid burning his throat.

Sighing, Tony filled up his glass again. A drunk Steve was better than a sober one, in his opinion. “A marriage is not a job and you need to try harder.”

“You don’t get to have an opinion, Tony. You got the perfect girl and the perfect wedding.” Jealousy coursed through his veins when he realised that everyone got to be with the love of their loves while he was stuck with someone who he barely knew.

Tony was left speechless and before he could come up with a response, Steve got up from his place and made his way towards his room. Calling it a night, he dreaded the next morning. He was happy for all of his friends but he also wanted to fall in love over first coffee dates, first movie nights, the first kiss and the moment he proposed because he loved you. Not because he was obligated too.

“You ready, Stevie?” Bucky was trying to be supportive but the headache was killing him. The tequila was literally seeping out of his pores. “How are you not hungover right now?”

“I didn’t drink like a maniac last night.” Adjusting his bow tie, he took a deep breath. This was the most difficult thing that he was going to do in his life and he just wanted to be left alone for sometime. “Can I have a moment alone?”

“Are you going to run if we leave you alone?”

“I am not a quitter and you all know that.” They all filed out of the room and he just sat down on the sofa and gave himself a prep talk.

You were no better on the other hand but you were ready to give it a try. Captain America was a good man and he would make a good husband. At least, that’s what you thought. You understood that the marriage was not happening under the best of circumstances but you could give it a fair chance. Taking a deep breath, you went to join your father on the doorway. He gave you a tearful smile and linked his hands with you.

“Do you take Steve Rogers as your lawfully wedded husband?” The minister asked the much awaited question and you quietly responded with an ‘I do’. During the whole ceremony, you wanted him to look at you but his eyes kept wandering. You passed it off as nerves but little did you know that he was so repulsed by the idea of this marriage that he refused to look at his wife to be.

“You guys are finally married. Treat her well, Rogers.” Fury took you both in a bear hug while your husband just hummed in response. You were like a daughter to Fury and that is why he recommended you as Steve’s spouse. He knew that Steve was an honorable man so he would fulfill all his duties as a husband.

The whole night was spent with you both smiling and engaging in conversations with the guests. However, you both made minimum effort to talk to each other except a few stolen glances. Your feet were killing you by the end of the event but you were never the one to complain. A look of relief appeared on your face when Steve announced an end to the event and thanked everyone for coming.

“Come on.” Hurriedly meeting his steps, you sat in to the passenger seat and those were the last words that were exchanged between you. When you entered the house, he took you straight to a guest room and then left. Whatever expectations that you had for tonight were crushed and so you went to bed with tears in your eyes and your wedding dress still on you.

During the next few weeks, Steve didn’t even glance at you but whenever you made an effort to do something nice for him, he shot you off. He was not willing to give it a chance and for the first few times that you made him dinner, he just picked it up and threw it in to the trash. You were never allowed in to his room and you learned it the hard way.

One day, you just wanted to put his laundry in to his room because he was not home yet. What was the harm? But boy, were you wrong. He came home early that day and he bursted at you the moment he saw you in his room. He called you some very mean things that you do not even want to recall. That night, you cried so much that your entire pillow was soaked but you didn’t want to leave him. You were in love with him way before you were married. He was the guy who saved the world and he was a good and an ethical man. Maybe he wasn’t nice to you but he was a good man and you couldn’t disagree with that.

It wasn’t that you needed a man in your life or you were dependent on him. It was that you had feelings for the man and your parents never raised you to be a quitter. You were still hoping that it all may be alright in a few days or weeks and you could have a family together. She knew that she had to be realistic but sometimes a girl wanted hope.

“I won’t be coming home for a few days.” At least he had the courtesy to tell you this time that he was going. "I have asked some of the agents to check up on you daily so if you need anything, just ask them."

"Okay." You quickly dismissed his questioning stare because he thought that you would ask questions. However, you knew that he would be rude and you would snap at him this time. A girl could only handle so much.

A week had passed and you got daily updates from Liam and Noah regarding the civil war. You still couldn’t believe that Tony and Steve were fighting because you witnessed their friendship firsthand. They had just informed you that Steve and his team were arrested by the government and shipped off to a black sight. You wanted to go to Fury and ask him to release all of them but Liam told you that it wouldn’t work. It was out of his hands.

“What do you mean?” You couldn’t believe your ears right now. Fury came by your house instead of Liam and Noah. He informed you that Chris and the other Avengers escaped from the prison and no one knows their location. Hurt was one of the most evident feeling running through your body and you didn’t know how to respond. How could he leave without telling you anything? How could he just leave?

“There will be some investigations on you but it would be nothing serious.”

“Why?” You exclaimed.

“The government is convinced that you know their location. It will blow over in sometime.”

“I am not going to sacrifice my freedom for someone who wasn’t even bothered to tell me about all this.” The hurt quickly turned into rage.

“But (Y/N)-”

“Tell all of them that I will not be doing anything and that you all should leave me alone.” You stood up and Fury took it as his cue.

Closing the door, you don’t let yourself ponder over the throbbing ache in your chest and instead get to packing. You were going to move out of this house and leave this life in the past. You moved into your parents house and immediately shot down their questions about Steve. There was a bookstore across from a studio apartment that Tony helped you find in the next few days. You loved books and the job paid pretty well. Soon, you forgot all about Steve and your failed marriage. Of course, there were feelings that you had to bury deep inside of you but you successfully managed to move on with your life.

“Have you heard, munchkin? Cap is back.” Tony shuffled your hair as he entered the library.. Pausing for a minute to absorb his words, you got right back into arranging the magazine section. It was the last thing that you had to do before you got off for the night.

“I don’t care. Are we still on for the night?”

“Yes. Pepper is cooking for the first time. Just say that you like the food.” From the past two years, Tony has been your person. He was the one who ordered you food when you were feeling too low or who massaged your feet when you had feet sores from lugging around books all day. You were thankful to have him in your life because he was not there to support you financially, he was there to support you emotionally. Sometimes, you felt so alone that you thought you might go into depression. But he was there to pull you back and so was Pepper. They were your family.

“Okay, Tony. I already know.” Quite a few things have changed over the years such as you changing your hair color to low lights and getting bangs. You changed your sense of style and. now you were pretty much unrecognizable. It was all in hope of leaving the past and turning over a new leaf. And you were somewhat successful.

“So how was the food?”

“Awesome!” The fake, shrill voice was hard to recognise, even for you but you didn’t want to hurt Pepper’s feelings.

“I know it was not good so I ordered some pizza as a back up.”

“I love you.” A chorus sounded from Tony and you as you both hugged her and kissed her on either cheek.

“Yeah, yeah.” She quickly dismissed you both but the cheeky grin on her face was hard to hide. You called it a night when you started feeling sleepy and you said your goodbyes. Your apartment was only two blocks away so you decided to take a walk to clear your head. Steve had been on your mind since the time Tony mentioned that he was back. As much as you wanted to believe that his arrival didn’t effect you, you couldn’t deny all the feelings that came rushing back in.

“Robbins Library, how may I help you?” Without looking up, you asked the question in a fake, chirpy voice.

“Why are you not at the house?” The voice startled you from your receipt checking and you gave him a confused look. As you had time to process the question, you looked over his appearance. More muscular and a fully grown beard was an interesting look and definitely suited him.

“Well, it was not mine to begin with.”

“I left you that house so you would be comfortable.”

“I am doing just fine without it. You know, I didn’t need anything from you but love and respect.”

Steve was trying to do something nice for you but he didn’t understand you. He felt nothing towards you even if he tried. Guilt coursed through him when he saw the look of hurt on your face but he couldn’t do anything about it. “That is too much.”

“Well, I deserve it and I am not going to settle for anything less.” This time, the brain won the battle and you were secretly glad. You resumed your work and he left without saying another word.

The city was in chaos in a few days because there was an alien invasion in place. The Avengers were all over the problem but Pepper and you were panicked. However, the only difference was that she could ask about Tony’s whereabouts and you couldn’t do that for your husband. There were no updates for you and when Noah came to get you both with a battered suit, you were worried.

Walking towards the tower, you realised that many people were crying but the most important thing was that it looked like half of the population was gone. There were a lot of things that you didn’t understand right now but only one thing mattered. One person. Steve. You ran towards the tower and when you saw him sitting on a chair with his head in his hands.

“What happened?” The logical part of your brain started working right on time.

“We couldn’t prevent the snap and Thor escaped.”

You didn’t know what it all meant but it was definitely something bad. “So what does it mean?”

“It means that half of the human population have disappeared. It means that half of our friends, families, loved ones have disappeared. It means that I have failed!”

“Why are you getting angry at me?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Do not speak to me like that. I do not deserve it. When you are in the right frame of mind, come talk to me.” You were not the person that suffered silently. You were the person who knew. what she wanted and how she should be treated.

Going outside, you called your parents but it just went to voicemail. However, busy they might have been, they always picked up their phone. So you knew that they were gone too. You were alone in this world and you didn’t know what to do. In the far distance, you saw Tony and Pepper hugging and you were happy to see that your best friend was not gone.

With tears running down your eyes, you turned back and collided into a firm chest. Looking up, you saw Steve and you just wanted someone to be with you right now. That’s what Steve also wanted because he felt like a failure right now. He wanted to give the marriage another chance as he thought that it was a miracle that you both were still here after the snap. It was not fair on you but he just needed someone and so did you. It was a fair trade.

“I just don’t want to be alone right now, Steve.”

“Me too. Let’s go upstairs.” You both just silently hugged each other and kept staring out into the Manhattan skyline. You knew that he didn’t have any feelings towards you and you cared about that. But not today. Today, you wanted to just lie down and soak up in his presence because he was the only one left for you.

He brought you breakfast in bed the next morning and he took you to all the meetings. You were confused as to why he was doing all of it and when you asked him, his answer was ‘I am trying’. You didn’t get your hopes high because you knew that it would be pathetic. This was going to be temporary and you just knew it. However, you just wanted a companion so you rolled with the situation.

“We can work around quantum physics and get all of our friends back.” He informed you over the ice cream that you were sharing. A Netflix movie ran in the background because it was a Saturday and it was a routine for you both.

“That’s a really good thing.”

“We are going to do it tomorrow.”

“Nice. I am going to bed. Are you coming?” He mumbled out a small yes and picked up all the dishes to put them in the sink.

The whole day tomorrow you clinged by your phone and called your parent’s number after every fifteen minutes. You looked crazy by the end of the day but when they finally picked up, you couldn’t explain the joy that coursed through your whole body. Talking to them for hours, you promised that you would visit them and you cancelled the call.

Steve came back with a bottle of wine in his hands to celebrate. “We were successful. The world is saved. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Both your happiness knew no bounds and after a few many glasses, you both were dancing to Taylor Swift songs. By the end of the night, you two were truly drunk and one thing led to another. You woke up the next morning with sheets wrapped around your frame and the pillow beside you crumpled but cold. You regretted the night so much because you knew that he did not have the same feelings for you.

The whole day, you spent cleaning the apartment as there were empty bottles of alcohol laying around. Then you went to the library and today was a busy day because many people wanted an update for the past five years of their lives. It kept you distracted from everything and when Tony came in, it was like the past repeating itself. He told you that Steve went to place the stones back but he came back as old.

You stopped listening to him after sometime as your mind tried to process what was happening. He betrayed you. Again. You were preparing yourself for the hurt whole day but this was totally unexpected. You knew what to do so it was a good thing. Detach yourself from the situation and do damage control. That was your motto for the next seven months and you refused to meet him even after you found out you were pregnant.

“You are in the mood of some ice cream with pickles, hmm little bean?” Rubbing your round belly, you walked towards the snacks aisle. The flavored pickle was on the top shelf but it was out of your reach. A wrinkly hand from behind picked up the jar and when you turned around to thank him, your voice was stuck in your throat. There stood your husband but the older version. The wrinkled face still held some similarities to the young captain but he had a slight hunch and grey hair.

“(Y/N), is that you? Are you- You are pregnant?” The question in his eyes was pretty evident.

“Seven months.” You curtly spoke and wheeled the trolly towards the check out. He quickly figured out the timeline and felt guilty. It was his baby and he left you alone. He caught up to you when you were bagging the groceries.

“I am sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t know. If I could change everything, I would. Please give me another chance.”

“You chose Peggy so you don’t get to come back in my life. Leave us alone. It would be a favor for this child if he never gets to know you.” Telling him off made you feel a whole lot better and you went towards your car.

Seeing you leave, Steve knew that he had to make things right. He went to the compound where all the Avengers were lounging around.

“I thought you had retired, Cap.” Peter called out from playing his video game with Bucky.

“I want your help, Scott. I want to go back to my old self.”

“Why, Captain? Got bored of the grandfather look?” Tony asked while stuffing his mouth with buttered popcorn.

“No. I just found out that my wife is pregnant and I want to be there for them.”

“That’s sweet but why? You already had your chance with Peggy.” Natasha wasn’t very happy with Steve right now but they all had the same question running through their minds.

“Peggy and I couldn’t have kids.”

“So you are using (Y/N) and this kid as a replacement. That’s just selfish, Steve.” Everyone gave him a disgusted look because they couldn’t believe that he was just using you and the child to fill a hole in his life. Not because he loved you both.

“That’s not true. I didn’t want to stay in the past with Peggy but she forced me to. She broke the time machine apparatus and I had no other choice but to accept that life.” He looked at all of them and saw that they all were listening to him. “I made a time machine the whole time I was there and when it was complete, I got the hell out of there.”

“Oh, Steve. We are so sorry. Of course, we will all help you.” Hugging him tight, Nat spoke on behalf of all the others. The machine was all ready to go so Steve stood in the middle of it with Scott. They had to go back and fixed the machine’s timing and it would take some months to do all that.

Meanwhile, you got back home and unpacked all the groceries. Your hormones were running wild at the moment as you sat on the sofa with your swollen feet on the coffee table. You wanted a companion sometimes who would massage your back or who would call you pretty when you were feeling insecure about yourself or who would bring you food at four a.m. But this was a dream and you gave up on it a long time ago. You were enough for your baby and that was a fact.

When Steve came back, 10 months had passed by. You had given birth to a beautiful baby boy after a 21 hour labour. You cried and even though you had your mom with you, you still called out for Steve. You wanted him with you and afterwards, when you held that boy in your hand, you wanted Steve to be there with you to enjoy the moment. However, it was the last time his name even came out of your month.

“Oliver, you need to eat, bubba.” The last 8 months have been a rollercoaster ride for you and you knew through Tony and Pepper that Steve had gone back in time. You didn’t bother with the details because you had another human being to worry about.

“Nooooo.” This one word was the kid’s favorite and everyone of his sentence started with it. You were interrupted in the middle by the doorbell. Picking up your child from the high chair, you made your way through the house towards the door.

“What are you doing here?” Steve looked the same age as you so you knew that the time machine trip was successful. But you saw red. He didn’t deserve you or Oliver.

“(Y/N), is- is that him?” The blubbering baby did not even pay attention to his father and kept on pulling your hair. He was an exact replica of Steve from the dirty blonde hair to the charming smile. A literal reminder for you but you loved this little boy to death.

“Yes and now go away. We don’t need you.” Looking at the baby, he regretted the day he made the decision to be the one to return the stones. He regretted the fact that he did not allow himself to love you. He regretted everything. “Do not come near us. Goodbye.”

You went on with your week as per usual with feeding Ollie in the morning and taking him to the library with you where he had his own play pen. Then getting light lunch across the street and coming back home to take a nap for a few hours. Afterwards, you both ate dinner while Oliver’s favorite cartoons played on the tv. Except for the fact that Steve was at your house, your job and your cafe from the day he came back. He tried to apologize but the years that you spent in agony was too much. It was too little, too late.

It was a Sunday afternoon and by some miracle, Steve had left you alone. He had a meeting with the other Avengers regarding Asgard today. You were just playing with Oliver on his mat as he tried to crawl towards the stuffed toys in your hands. Before you picked him up, you thought that you smelt gas. However, a loud explosion threw you in to the nearest wall and you knew that your time was here. During the last few breaths, you tried to find Oliver but you couldn’t move. Mentally calling out for Steve, your gaze became unfocused and you lost conscious.

“Wha-What happened?” Steve knew that there was a bomb blast and he wanted to hope against all hope that you both were safe. However, the two body bags wheeled out of the burnt down house had him fall to his knees.

“There was an explosion and we caught Agent Sharon fleeing the scene.”

Sharon had confessed that she wanted to have revenge on Steve for cheating on her aunt Peggy. The new family that Steve had was a disgrace to her Aunt’s memories so she murdered them. She had gone a little crazy because Peggy was the one who take care of her when she was a child and she felt that Steve betrayed her.

Steve didn’t know what to do with his life at the moment. He was left all alone and his family was snatched away from him. He didn’t get a chance to be with them and now he was left with nothing but pain and regret. Trying to convince Fury to let him go back in time and prevent the explosion was futile because Fury just told him that this would upset the balance of nature. He didn’t understand it at first but then as time passed, he did. All the toys and photos that were salvaged from the house now decorated Steve’s very lonely apartment and he never let himself forget.

This was his punishment and he was not going to run away from it. Not this time.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I loved writing about Steve but I am no longer taking requests for some days. I actually have some of my drafts that I want to complete. You can send in requests but it will take some days for me to get to them:) Love you guys and do tell me if you want to be added to my taglist.

Taglist: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile

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[chatonne-rousse]

Be Bold, Be Kind, Be Brave

This is one akuma whose intentions are good. After all, who couldn't use an extra dose of courage to overcome fear?

A superhero whose identity will be immediately revealed in the process, for one.

When an akuma causes several secrets to come to light all at once, our heroes will need to drum up some courage to face their fears - and each other.

But what's waiting after that looks like it might be a dream come true. It'll just take a bit of bravery and a lot of heart. Piece of cake.

***

Only eight days late and several dollars short, I’m wishing @jennagrinsoverml a happy belated birthday with this gift, written just for her.  ILY, my friend!  

Read it on Ao3 here.

***

Ladybug has to give Courageous some credit: she's a rarity, an akuma born of selfless means. A teenager who hadn't mustered the courage to stand up for a younger student being bullied at school, she'd been so ashamed, so angry with herself, that Hawkmoth had found an easy target to ply with honeyed words and promises.

Her power isn't even a terrible one. The beam of light she shoots from her right hand simply causes the person it strikes to relive the last encounter they had when their bravery failed them, this time with courage aplenty. It's admirable, really.

Admirable, but terrifying nonethless.

(The fear of Chat Noir finding out her identity is deep and dark and often floats to the surface of her nightmares with blue eyes and white hair and a drowned, ruined world. He cannot know. The cost is too high.)

"Whatever you do," she calls to her partner, frantic and scared, "don't let her hit you! Please, Chat!"

She hears the desperation in her own voice, and the look on his face conveys that he certainly does. He nods solemnly.

"I'll do my best, My Lady."

She nods back, and off they go into the fray.

For well over an hour, they fight Courageous through parks and plazas, sidewalks and thoroughfares. All around them, the people of Paris have squared their shoulders, lifted their chins, and braved conversations big and small with people only they could see.

Ladybug has to smile as she hears a young man confidently ask for a raise and watches his eyes light up at the response.

That smile fades when she remembers once again that the last time her courage had failed her was just as they were dismissed for lunch break, when she'd tried to invite Adrien to a movie that weekend. His eyes had been so kind as he'd waited for her to gather her words properly, and somehow that had just made it harder.

Then Lila had "accidentally" tripped and knocked into her, sending her to the floor. The memory of Adrien's hand reaching out to her to help her up, those same kind, patient eyes locked on hers, makes Ladybug's cheeks heat even now. But after she was upright again, after Lila had stalked off because no one seemed to care that she "probably would need surgery now because her arthritis would flare", Nino had reminded Adrien about the gig he was DJing on Friday and Alya had led her away to show her something on her phone.

Just like that, her opportunity was gone.

And that would be fine, honestly. Marinette was used to moments of stuttering and botched declarations when it came to Adrien.

But if she's hit by Courageous, Chat Noir - plus the citizens of Paris, Hawkmoth, everyone - will hear Ladybug try to ask Adrien Agreste on a date, and that will be a disaster of epic proportions.

"Ladybug, look out!"

Chat's body slams into hers, sending them rolling on the sidewalk just as a beam of magical light zips over their heads. In a flash, Chat Noir bundles her in his arms and vaults them to the rooftop above, making sure she's steady on her feet once they land.

"Thank you, Ki-" The words die in her throat when she sees over her partner's shoulder that Courageous has followed them.

Chat turns, his baton at the ready, while Ladybug reaches for her yo-yo, but neither is quick enough to stop the akuma's beam from finally finding one of its main targets.

"I'm sorry, Bug," he murmurs as his eyes glaze over.

Using her yo-yo as a spinning shield, Ladybug drags her partner behind the nearest chimney stack just as he begins to speak.

Panic sets in as her mind screams at her over the hum of her yo-yo, the akuma's laughter, her partner's voice.

I can't just leave him!

"Father, may I come in?"

Oh no, oh no, oh no. I can't hear this!

"Yes, Nathalie said she penciled me into your schedule for noon."

Nathalie?

Ladybug's gaze snaps to her partner, yo-yo still spinning to deflect beams of light. She's surprised to find Chat Noir's head bowed in deference, though his eyes shine with a confident gleam.

"I requested this appointment to ask you again if I could attend the event with my friends tomorrow evening. I've already completed my assignments for school and the homework from my Mandarin tutor."

Mandarin tutor? What?!

"Yes, Father, I'm aware that you don't care for Nino, but..."

The panicked scream in her mind gives up any attempt at coherence; by this point, it's no more than a muddled loop of Nathalie, Mandarin, Nino, Father.

Ladybug feints to the left to avoid being hit by the akuma as a mix of terror and adrenaline floods her system. She leaps forward, leaving Chat behind the chimney in the hope that she can engage the akuma just long enough to get her partner back and finally, finally finish this off.

She knows too much already. The cat has bolted straight out of the bag and is running loose on this rooftop beneath her feet, a distraction she can't handle right now.

On hero autopilot, she hurdles one beam after another, then tucks and rolls and pops up to roundhouse kick Courageous in the chest, sending her flying.

She hears the akuma's "oof" just as Chat Noir's jubilant voice rings out from behind the chimney.

"Thank you, Father! Thank you so much!"

She can hear his grin in those simple words, the sheer joy in being given permission to leave the house. Everyone in their class knows what a tight leash Gabriel Agreste keeps on his son. It breaks her heart every time she thinks of it. In fact, she's successfully fought for his release from that marble prison on more than one occasion! So yes, she'd already known with all the clues in place, but there was truly no mistaking it now: that was Adrien talking to his father.

Because Adrien is Chat Noir.

Her heart cracks. Oh, Chaton.

Suddenly, the akuma's progress in clambering to her feet is impeded by the whoosh and subsequent metallic thunk of Chat's overhand swing with his baton.

Relief floods her heart at the return of her partner. No matter who he is, Chat Noir is her other half, and Ladybug is never quite herself without him.

"Maybe we could use a little extra luck, My Lady!" Chat winks at her over his shoulder before facing the akuma again.

"Yes! Right! You bet!"

Get it together, Marinette, she thinks. Her face heats and she scampers away to the safety of the chimney stack where Chat was hidden to call for her lucky charm.

A red and black spotted can opener drops into her hands and she looks at it in confusion. "What am I supposed to do with this?" she grumbles, looking around frantically but seeing nothing to help her decipher how to use the lucky charm.

She takes a deep breath, peeks out from behind the bricks, and promptly takes a light beam to the face.

No, no, no, no!

It feels vaguely like having a water balloon popped on her head, a chill of sensation dripping down her spine and rippling through her nerves. It's a small mercy that being hit by an akuma rarely hurts physically. Her vision swims like a mirage in the desert, the familiar courtyard at school coalescing from vapor around her.

The last thing she sees is her partner's stricken face.

The last thing she hears is the akuma cackling.

"Heylo! Who! I mean," she takes a deep breath, a rush of confidence tingling along her nerves. "Hey, Adrien!" She smiles and gives him a little wave.

His grin takes her breath away. "Hi, Marinette! How are you?"

"I'm great!"

You can do it, you can do it!, her heart sings, and miraculously, her brain listens. Her smile turns coy. She taps her lip with her index finger. Her pulse pounds a bolstering tattoo in her ears. Go for it, girl!

"But I could be better."

Adrien's smile drops a fraction. "Are you okay? Is there something I can do?"

With another deep breath, she squares her shoulders and looks him in the eyes, her very cells imbued with a courage unparalleled even when she's wearing spots. She could do anything, anything, right now, but she has her mind set on accomplishing one thing and one thing only.

"You could join me for a movie on Saturday."

"I could...?" His brows furrow, but his grin grows slowly, bright but incredulous. "Are you asking me....?" He blinks, takes two shallow breaths. "Do you mean just the two of us?"

She nods decisively. "A date."

You did it. You did it! A veritable party erupts in the back of her mind, radiant relief spreading to her fingertips. It feels so good to finally break through her anxiety and fear and ask him that simple question that felt like an impossible task just a few hours ago.

Thankfully, he doesn't keep her waiting. The answer is in his eyes, anyway. "I would love to," he breathes, cheeks pink and smile dazzling.

"Really?" Marinette squeaks, and now it's his turn to nod.

"I'll be there even if I have to sneak out." Adrien reaches for her hand and gives it a little squeeze. "We'll talk about it later today, okay?"

She nods again, her chest so full of emotion she can barely breathe. Not only did she ask him, but he said yes!

Suddenly, blue sky fills her vision and she regains awareness to the sound of a scuffle on the other side of the chimney stack. Ladybug tentatively gets to her feet, reaching for her yo-yo and setting it spinning immediately. This time there's no peeking around the corner; she bursts from behind the bricks on the offensive, ready to finish the fight.

What she finds is Courageous struggling under Chat's baton, twisted up like a pretzel and unable to move for the steel-toed boot resting across her shoulders.

"Just in time, LB!" Chat crows triumphantly. He tosses her a bracelet emblazoned with the words Be Bold, Be Kind, Be Brave that currently pulses with Hawkmoth's dark energy.

In moments, the bracelet is broken, the akuma is freed and purified, and a confused teenager sits where Courageous was restrained a moment ago.

Chat docks his baton at his back and looks at his partner with the softest eyes she's ever seen, a tiny, equally soft smile playing at his lips.

Her heart sighs. Adrien. That's Adrien, and he knows.

The lucky charm sits heavy in her palm. Abject fear makes her hope against hope that she won't remember his identity when she casts her miraculous cure, just as her heart longs to hold on to the knowledge that her precious partner is the boy of her deepest desires, and maybe, maybe they really can have it all.

With a deep breath, she throws the unused can opener into the air, watching magical ladybugs and healing light burst forth and spread throughout the city. She waits, holding her breath, but when pink light swirls around them, the only affect it has is the healing of the twinge in her ankle from when she fell mid-fight.

She looks up, and her partner's eyes say it all.

He remembers, too.

Even as fear grips her heart, radiant joy shines from his face as his grin spreads. It scrunches his eyes behind the mask and pinkens his cheeks, delight seeming to glow from his pores. Ladybug has never seen her partner so happy. That elation is a balm to her soul, and she can't help but smile right along with him.

Ladybug turns to the akuma victim and holds out her hand, offering the bracelet back to her. "I really like that inscription" she says, pointing at the now-silver bracelet as the girl fixes it back on her wrist.

She smiles shyly at the two heroes. "I wish I had the courage to do more. I wish I was brave like you."

"We get scared sometimes, too. Everyone does," Ladybug starts, before her partner nudges her shoulder with his elbow.

"Speak for yourself, Bugaboo. This cat has no fear." Chat Noir throws her an exaggerated wink, and the girl laughs. "But real talk, anyone can be a hero in their own way. Little things, big stuff...you're stronger than you think, I promise. Cat's honor."

She nods. "Thank you for, you know, saving me and everything." Glancing at the street below, she gestures toward the edge of the roof. "Would it be too much trouble to get me back down there?"

"Not at all," Ladybug replies with a smile. Calling on her own courage, she looks at her partner and takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing, she thinks. "The usual spot in five? Or less, I guess, since it...doesn't matter now," she says with a shrug that she hopes looks nonchalant.

And there's that smile that shines like the summer sun. He gives her a jaunty salute. "I'll be there with bells on," he says, tapping the bell at his throat and making it jingle.

Ladybug just shakes her head and giggles.

A few minutes later, when she lands beside Chat Noir on their familiar rooftop, her earrings are beeping a frantic rhythm, signaling mere seconds before she detransforms. Instinct has her looking around the roof, ready to dart behind anything she can use to hide.

Before she can move, Chat steps toward her and quietly asks, "Marinette?"

Her transformation dissolves in a wave of pink light, and she hears him gasp as she catches Tikki gently in her palms. Marinette takes her time retrieving a macaron from her purse to feed her kwami, deliberately moving slowly in an attempt to get herself under control before she looks up at her partner. He knows, and he's thrilled, and that's amazing, but it feels like the entire world will change when their gazes finally meet, and she's just not ready yet.

"I, um...I didn't use my cataclysm, so I can stay transformed if you'd prefer, but..." he trails off.

There's something in his voice that finally makes her look at him. Just like when he talked to his father under the akuma's control, his head is bowed slightly, but instead of confidence, this time his eyes are bright with nervous hope.

Marinette understands both the nerves and the hope, and she'll joke with her partner until the end of time about who's in charge, but it feels wrong for either Chat or Adrien to look at her with uneasy deference.

And that's what she thinks of as courage wells in her chest. Her brave, steadfast partner, the other half of their unstoppable team, the boy with terrible timing who can still make her laugh, her best friend whom she loves so fiercely, should never feel he has to approach her in fear.

"Oh, Minou," she breathes. "Of course, go ahead. I...I already know."

He nods and stands a little straighter, and with a whisper and a flash of green, Chat's magical leather is replaced with denim and cotton poplin.

Predictably, her brain is short-circuiting, hollering in panic and terror, but even as her heart pounds wildly in her chest, it whispers quietly, gently, that this is her partner. Her silly kitty. Her dearest friend. He just happens to look like Adrien Agreste at the moment.

(Okay, this is going to take some getting used to.)

Tikki flies off to join Plagg nearby, while Marinette sits down on the roof with her knees pulled to her chest. She pats the space to her right and Adrien settles in cross-legged next to her.

He's the first to break the silence. "I'm sorry, Marinette. I shouldn't have gotten hit. I shouldn't have let you get hit. I know this wasn't what you wanted, and-"

"No, no, don't apologize," she interrupts, shaking her head. "It happens. It's...not the first time." Marinette sighs and closes her eyes, suddenly feeling a lot less courageous in the face of this world-bending change now that they're in their civilian clothes and it's Adrien apologizing to her. She presses her forehead to her knees and tries to imagine the boy beside her in magical leather and cat ears. It only helps a little, but it's enough. "We, um-" she pauses, licks her lips. "We have a lot to talk about. I just don't know if I'm ready for...all of it."

Adrien is silent for an uncomfortably long moment. "Yeah. We do." She hears him take a deep breath that shakes a bit on the exhale and turns her head a fraction to peek at him. His eyes are on the distant horizon. "I...think I understand some things now."

Abruptly, he turns toward her, a little smile tilting the corners of his mouth when he his eyes meet hers. Fear tells her to look away, but she tamps it down and holds his gaze. His smile widens.

"May I ask you something, Marinette?"

She nods.

"When you came up to me at lunch today, were you...planning to ask me on a date?"

Her pulse pounds in her ears. She could give in to fear, say no and brush it off like Chat had misheard her when she was under the akuma's spell. But suddenly her heartbeat seems to drum, "be bold, be kind, be brave," over and over again, and just as the smile begins to slip from his face, she finds the nerve to nod again.

Just like on the other rooftop a few minutes ago, his face lights up like the first rays of sun after a week of rain, shining splendid even in the early afternoon light.

"Am I--" he whispers, his breath hitching though his joy never dims, "Am I the boy?"

Be bold, be kind, be brave.

She calls on her Ladybug courage and nods once more.

His breath catches again and his eyes fill with tears that he brushes away quickly.

Clarity dawns all of a sudden, sweeping her fears to the corners of her mind to be dealt with later. She understood Chat Noir being happy to know his partner's identity, his excitement in finding out his Lady was his friend, too. But this is so much more. Beside her sits Adrien, wiping tears of joy from his eyes at the knowledge that Marinette is in love with him. This might just be a dream coming true on a random rooftop on a random Thursday afternoon.

"Chaton," she breathes, stretching her legs in front of her and placing a hand on his knee.

His hand covers hers, and she meets his gaze, words caught in her throat at the intensity in his eyes.

"I have a confession to make." He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand and takes a deep breath. "I think everyone in Paris knows that Chat Noir is in love with Ladybug. I...know you know." He shrugs as his smile turns a little helpless. "But no one knows that I might have a little tiny bit of a huge crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng, too."

"Kid, don't lie to your girlfriend. You know very well that I knew, because I've been telling you forever!" Plagg calls from somewhere behind them. Tikki hushes him loudly.

"Okay, he's not wrong," Adrien says, huffing out a combination of a laugh and a sigh. I'm just very stupid, apparently."

"Hey, don't talk that way about my partner." Marinette bumps his shoulder with hers. "I have a teeny, tiny, huge crush on him, too, you know, and I don't appreciate your tone."

Adrien's surprised laugh rings out across the rooftop, filling her heart with so much love she can barely breathe with the force of it. She could listen to that laugh for the rest of her life. She hopes she'll have that chance.

He brushes tears from his eyes again as his laughter subsides, his grin still shining bright. "I'm so happy it's you, Marinette. Beyond happy." He turns her hand beneath his and threads his fingers through hers. "Honestly, there's no one else I would rather have as my partner."

"Me too, Minou," she murmurs, squeezing his hand lightly as incredulous joy sings through her veins.

Tikki's little voice pipes up nearby. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's almost time to go back to class."

Adrien lets go of her hand to fish for his phone and curses under his breath when he sees the time. "She's right, My Lady. Could we meet up this evening? I know we have, um...a lot of things to talk about."

Marinette nods. It feels like she's done a lot of that in the last few minutes.

When Adrien stands, he offers his hand to help her up. Just like in the courtyard at lunch, his eyes are patient and kind, but now they shine with something more. She lets him pull her to her feet, then wraps her arms around his waist in a tight hug.

His soft exhale at her ear as he melts against her makes her smile, scrunching up his white overshirt under her cheek. Her senses are filled with him, and she's surprised to realize that it's a feeling of comfort and safety instead of the usual panic.

Maybe loving Adrien and being loved in return will be easier than it seemed all this time. Her fears seem so silly when his arms are wrapped around her shoulders and his head rests on top of hers - a perfect fit.

Even the nightmarish terror of Chat Blanc is diminished. Adrien never told anyone her identity; he knew because he himself was Chat Noir, and there's no way in the world that Chat would hurt his Lady, nor would Adrien ever harm Marinette on purpose. She must have misunderstood. He must have misunderstood. He was an akuma, after all. She sighs into Adrien's shirt. She can never allow that terrible timeline to occur, but whatever happens after this, they'll face it together. Stronger. She'll make sure of it.

"Do you think my father will let me go to Nino's gig in real life?" he asks quietly.

The sad note in his voice breaks her heart. She squeezes him tighter.

"I don't know, Kitty. Do you think we'll be having a movie date on Saturday?"

He leans back abruptly, though his hands still grip her shoulders. "Of course! I'll be there if I have to sneak out!"

Marinette boops his nose, laughing when his eyes cross. "I think that's your answer for Friday night, too."

Suddenly she's in his arms again, this time lifted off the ground and spinning. She can't help but giggle.

"I knew I was in love with a genius!" he cries, jubilant. He sets her down and plants a kiss in the middle of her forehead before calling for Plagg to transform him.

When he turns his masked face back to her, it's like the world is different. She can easily see the brilliant green of Adrien's eyes in Chat's glowing sclerae. The blending of two of her favorite people into one extraordinary boy who - oh my goodness - just said he loves her gives her a shot of courage even before she suits up again.

"You missed, beau gosse."

His eyes widen comically. "I....what?"

Marinette smiles and calls for her transformation, then taps her lips with her gloved fingers. "You kissed me, but you missed."

The sly gleam in his eyes makes her breathing speed up.

"First of all, I would ask before I did that," Chat says, sticking out his thumb before raising his clawed index finger. "Second, I thought I'd save our first kiss for Saturday. Seems like a great way to end our first date, doesn't it?"

Our first date. A tingle runs down her spine. She likes the sound of that.

"I guess I can wait." Her smile turns cheeky. "But it'll be our third--"

"Ah, ah, ah," Chat cuts her off with a grin. He extends his thumb again. "First of all, I don't remember either of those."

Ladybug rolls her eyes, still smiling.

"And second," he says, his voice pitching lower and making her heart skip a beat, "it will be Marinette and Adrien's first kiss."

Oh, this boy, she thinks as her heart soars.

She bites her lip to keep from giggling. "I suppose you're right, even though we both know we're the same people."

Chat gives her a deadpan look. "Just let me have this, Bug."

She bursts into laughter and reaches for her yo-yo, delighting in watching a grin light her partner's face.

"I really am looking forward to Saturday," he says, unhooking his baton from his back. He reaches for her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "We'll talk about it later today, okay?"

She nods and watches him vault off toward home.

The wind against her face is exhilarating as she swings back to the bakery. It's amazing how one revelation seems to have changed everything. Even the zip of her yo-yo through the air sounds different to her ears now that she knows, now that he knows.

Marinette detransforms as she touches down on the terrace and sinks into her pink-striped chair while Tikki phases through the hatch into her room in search of food. A quick check of her phone tells her that she has ten minutes before she has to go back to school.

School. One more thing that's going to be different.

Before nerves can creep in, she thinks of Chat Noir and his beaming joy at learning the identity of his beloved partner. That was Adrien. She thinks of the comfort of being wrapped in Adrien's arms, his scent, his warmth. That was Chat Noir.

And when she sits down in class behind him in a few short minutes, that boy with the soft smile and shining eyes will look like Adrien, but now he's so much more.

Marinette stands up from her chair with a lighter heart than she can remember having in a long, long time. She's suddenly looking forward to the second half of the day, even more excited for Nino's event tomorrow night, and positively thrilled that she has a date with Adrien - who is Chat Noir! - on Saturday.

There's so much to experience, so many memories to be made. It feels a bit like a dream. It feels more than a bit scary. But it's going to be great.

It's just going to take a little courage.

She's got this.

[somethingwritey]

How is the Rangshi long fic coming? Id love an update on ittttt!

Hello! I'm so glad you're still thinking about my Rangshi fic! It's currently around 20k at the moment—definitely getting a bit carried away!

Because you asked, here's another little out-of-context snippet ;)

-----

“Do you think the spirits would mind if I assassinated a world leader?”

Jinpa jerked his head up at the question, risking a glance behind him at her. Kyoshi knew she must be a sight to behold, laying out across the wide saddle and staring up at the darkening clouds. In her hands, she opened and closed a fan in time to her pounding pulse.

“I don’t think that’s listed as an Avatar duty,” Jinpa stammered, thoroughly taken aback by her proposal.

“Bummer.”

Jinpa was quiet for a few moments, no doubt trying to edge around the subject towards her reasoning. “I take it that meeting with the Fire Lord went… poorly?”

Kyoshi propped herself up on her elbows to stare him in the face. She hoped he could read how absolutely stupid that question had been. She’d emerged from the Fire Lord’s palace by stomping, causing tiny earthquakes as she marched over to the stables. That should’ve been indication enough.

“He’s out of control.” Kyoshi shivered—Rangi’s absence making itself very apparent just then; she could always be counted on for a little extra warmth while traveling.

Kyoshi went back to staring at the sky.

Zoryu’s words about the Firebender still echoed in her ears, doing more to chill her than the night air ever could. She wished she could put more distance between Rangi and the Fire Lord, despite being hidden away in Yokoya.

For a terrifying moment, she wondered if Zoryu somehow knew. If he could see the girl in her cotton shift, laid out on the infirmary bed with her hands knotted in the sheets. If he had discovered a way to look at the bruises on her face and the way her breath still rattled slightly whenever she breathed. Maybe this whole meeting had been a distraction, a diversion to take Kyoshi away from the infirmary and Rangi. Maybe, it was too late.

“Jinpa!” Kyoshi felt her heart pounding in her ears. “Fly faster!”

She worked herself up as they flew, imagining horrific scenes of injury and destruction—rivaling the iceberg or North Chung-Ling - only this time, it would absolutely be her fault. If anything happened to Rangi, the Flying Opera Company, even Hei-Ran and Atuat, she would be to blame.

Kyoshi gripped the edge of the saddle, her knuckles turning white from the effort. She watched the ground grow closer and closer as Yingyong spiralled into a descent. Her chest tightened with every drop in altitude, and once, she almost slipped over the edge and plummeted the last several feet to the ground.

“Quiet evening.” Jinpa seemed on the whole unaware of her own personal panic. He landed Yingyong with ease and dismounted, walking around the side of the bison to assist Kyoshi like he always did.

She didn’t wait for the monk to make it over to her. She tumbled from the saddle, falling hard onto the ground and scrambling back up to her feet.

“Kyoshi!” he yelled after her in disbelief.

She didn’t turn around, stumbling towards the infirmary to what she knew would be waiting for her. Blindly, she pushed open the door and tripped over the doorway, panting and gasping for air, to find -

No evidence of violence. No ransom note or bodies or trails of blood. Just Hei-Ran and Atuat sitting in a few chairs with bowls of noodles, with the rest of the Flying Opera Company still bedridden, but looking more vibrant than before. Even Rangi looked, on the whole, unchanged, propped up in bed. Someone had even taken the time to put her hair back up in its usual topknot.

“Well,” Hei-Ran said dryly, taking in Kyoshi’s haggard appearance. “Are you being pursued by wolfbats? Lion vultures? Spider snakes, perhaps?”

Kyoshi’s face flushed red, and she tried hard to catch her breath - smoothing down her skirts to remove the ruffles.

“Did the monk get eaten?” Atuat asked calmly, taking another bite of her noodles. Clearly, the two women were enjoying the joke at Kyoshi���s expense.

Rangi covered her mouth, looking as though she was trying to keep a straight face for Kyoshi’s sake and failing at it. Kyoshi glared at her.

“Not you, too.”

A little snort escaped Rangi’s fingers, and her eyes went wide.

“Some bison ride you must’ve had,” Kirmia ventured, surveying Kyoshi’s windswept state. “What did happen to that Airbender of yours?”

Kyoshi gestured out the door. “Probably unsaddling Yingyong,” she told them all, still somewhat out of breath. “I, uh, just needed to check something.”

“The Fire Lord put you on edge?” Hei-Ran put down her bowl of noodles, staring hard at Kyoshi.

She forced herself to look back calmly. The last thing she wanted was to let everyone know that she’d gotten worked up over some unfulfilled threats. And now that she was here, even Kyoshi could tell how stupid she’d been. The infirmary was the safest place for Rangi right now, surrounded as she was by Hei-Ran and Atuat and unable to make any wrong move the Fire Lord could use to justify an attack.

Kyoshi forced a smile, relaxing her shoulders the best she could. “Nothing of the sort.” She tucked her fans back into her belt. “The meeting was simply to confirm what he already knew. Pretty big waste of time, actually.”

Hei-Ran was still studying her skeptically, probably trying to pinpoint the reason for Kyoshi’s sudden change in demeanor. Kyoshi dared to look over at Rangi again.

Her expression mirrored her mother’s, lips slightly pursed and head tilted to the side. If Kyoshi didn’t want Hei-Ran to discover the true nature of her meeting with Zoryu, she definitely didn’t want Rangi figuring it out.

Rangi’s station meant everything to her, and she took her job very seriously. If she knew that her own Fire Lord was pondering possible ways to strip the girl of her life - or worse, her honor - she would lose it.

Kyoshi had already seen how Fire Nation citizens treated their disgraced ranking officials. Hei-Ran had been pitied, patronized, pet like an animal. If anyone were to take that tone with Rangi, well, Kyoshi couldn’t promise that she would be able to keep her Avatar State in check.

“Care for some noodles?” Atuat gestured to her own bowl, holding it up for Kyoshi to see.

There was no way Kyoshi could turn down food. She hadn’t eaten since… well, Kyoshi couldn’t quite remember the last time she’d eaten, and she could feel Rangi staring daggers at her.

“Yeah,” she smiled at Atuat. “Noodles would be great.”

////

It was three days before Rangi was able to stand.

Atuat worked on her the best she could, trying to heal the internal damage caused by Yun. She told Kyoshi that bits of his earth dagger had broken off inside her wound, causing irritation and leaving a large possibility for infection. It didn’t help that Rangi was a terrible patient.

“I can get up,” she kept insisting. “I’m fine!”

When Atuat finally let her try, Rangi leapt at the opportunity, getting to her feet much too quickly and nearly doubling over from lingering stiffness and pain.

“Careful!” Kyoshi cried, hovering nearby. The outburst earned her stares from both Rangi and Atuat.

When Rangi straightened up again—slower this time—Kyoshi could see the imprint of the bandages under her shift - wrapped generously around her torso like battle armor.

“Are you sure she should be doing this?” Kyoshi asked Atuat, probably only fueling Rangi’s determination. “She’s still got bandages on! What if she starts bleeding again? We can try again tomorrow! Or next week!”

“Kyoshi, what’s your problem?” Rangi narrowed her eyes.

She was being far too overprotective, Kyoshi knew. She should back off. Let Rangi manage her own recovery. But even though it was inviting Rangi’s wrath, Kyoshi didn’t want her Firebender’s stubbornness to impede her healing process.

Rangi needed to take it slow. Make sure she didn’t make things worse with her rush to get better. As much as Kyoshi wanted to see her girl back on her feet, she knew it wouldn’t benefit either of them if it happened too quickly.

That’s what Kyoshi told herself as she watched Atuat support Rangi and instruct her to gently raise and lower her arms - stretching out her muscles. Kyoshi just didn’t want Rangi to overextend herself. To tear open her wound. To hurry an infection along. Her concern was born from love and care, not selfishness.

Or cowardice.

As if to poke holes in her reasoning, Hei-Ran entered the tent, arms crossed. “Jinpa told me your meeting with the Fire Lord ended… abruptly.” She glanced over at Atuat and Rangi for the briefest of moments. “Rangi, straighten your shoulders. Injuries don’t excuse bad posture.”

Rangi huffed, but obediently did as she was told. She respected her mother’s authority, whether she liked it or not.

Kyoshi picked her next words carefully. Lying to Hei-Ran was never a good idea, but neither was letting on just how badly the meeting had actually gone. “I think… the messages of both parties had ample time for sinking in.”

The words could’ve come straight from Yun’s mouth—vague with just the right amount of high-brow language. Maybe she wasn’t a hopeless cause after all.

Hei-Ran seemed surprised by the response as well. “I see. And what message did the Fire Lord impart on you?”

Shit.

Kyoshi tried to think on her feet. “Politics,” she said at last. “The importance of… political relations.”

“Sounds like the stuff Jianzhu used to preach,” Rangi offered, crinkling up her nose at the mention of the departed sage.

Hei-Ran sniffed dismissively at the mention of the man who’d nearly poisoned her to death. Kyoshi wondered inwardly if the woman ever mourned Jianzhu, despite everything. He had once been her close companion, after all.

Every one of Hei-Ran’s old friends were gone, she suddenly realized - swallowing hard. Kuruk. Kelsang. Jianzhu. The once-inseparable gang hadn’t stayed that way for very long. Hei-Ran was the sole survivor.

Killed after hunting dark spirits.

Murdered by Jianzhu.

Murdered by Yun. And me.

What terrible fates had been waiting for the previous Avatar team, often at the hands of each other. Was that what waited for her? For Rangi? For Wong and Kirimia? Was every Avatar doomed to bring failure and annihilation to the people who loved them most?

“Atuat,” she said sharply, turning to look at Rangi who’d made good progress accompanied by the Waterbender. “That’s enough for today.”

“Yes, Avatar.”

As Atuat moved to help Rangi back to bed, Rangi protested - an angry haze settling over her face as she watched Kyoshi move towards the door.

“What?” Rangi twisted in Atuat’s grip, trying to break free, to run after her. “Who let her call the shots around here? Kyoshi, don’t you dare walk away from me! I’m not through talking about this!”

Kyoshi didn’t turn around. She couldn’t.

“Fine! Go clear your head! See if I care!”

And then Kyoshi made it out of earshot.

She would delay Rangi’s recovery as long as she possibly could, drag it out until the spirits themselves were begging the Firebender to get back on her feet. Because at least here in the infirmary, tucked away in Yokoya, she had people to keep her safe. She couldn’t get herself thrown into another life-threatening situation while she was still recuperating from the last one.

Kyoshi wouldn’t be the reason for Rangi’s obliteration.

And neither would Zoryu.

---

more coming soon! my commissions are open (and so is my ask box!)

[rainpudding]

note; m will be in my next post, someone else already requested it >3

tw; depression,suicide and ed mentioned,alcohol dying and etc..

KAEYA | ANGST ALPHABET

catcall die kidnapped time

Kidnapped (you’re kidnapped)

Most people would say Kaeya would develop a strong alcohol addiction to forget that his lover went missing however I have to strongly disagree.

When Kaeya gets home and he can't find you anywhere he won't think much of it. Maybe you went to visit your family and forgot to tell him, or you're having a sleepover with a friend. On the outside, he seems calm as for the next three days he goes to work acting as nothing happened. But on the inside he is panicking, he gets his work done as soon as possible as he gets home just to sit down on a chair staring at the door. He Is waiting for the door to open and you to appear. He is sitting there for hours and hours.

After a week of you not appearing he blames himself for not reaching for help sooner as it may be too late to found you. He calls knight of favounius and citizens of mondstat goes in groups looking for you. Traveler makes missing posters trying to help at least a little bit.

Kaeya wants to forget you but he slowly loses interest in alcohol, it feels like it lost Its taste.

His public calm image is slowly breaking as his mind is filled with dark imaginations. He slowly forgets to eat meals or to keep himself hydrated.

Apart from Childe who gets obsessive filled with hope, Kaeya gets depressive knowing that there is no possibility you can be okay.

Jean first notices Kaeya's depression when she sees him standing in the middle of the hall. His eyepatch is missing his messy hair covering his eye. He wears only his white shirt as he is visibly confused.

The dehydration and sleep deprivation have a bad impact on him. Jean knows something is wrong and sends him home in order to take a break. Which does not help since Kaeya should have human interaction and get meds not be home.

Diluc gets worried as he makes meals for him carrying them to his house. The house is a mess as Kaeya is unable to clean which results in Dikuc quickly putting Kaeya's mess into the bin trying to clean up at least a little bit.

Kaeya, on the other hand, doesn't want to go to sleep but once he is asleep he doesn't want to wake up. He can't get out of his bed. Becoming more disoriented and slowly forgetting why he is sad in the first place.

He doesn't remember your face anymore, nor your name. He doesn't remember you at all.

And one morning when Diluc opens door to Kaeya's room holding breakfast to his surprise he finds Kaeya in his bed. Melatonin pills everywhere as he slowly realizes Kaeya overdosed himself.

But let's imagine you were found and you came home just before Kaeya got depressed.

You open the door with a crack quickly closing it as you finally feel safe. You were missing for almost three months yet since day one you were dreaming of the moment when you will be able to hug Kaeya again.

You look around finding your shared house slightly messy. The bin is filled with old food. The boxes on tables are also filled with untouched food. You wander around softly smiling at the pictures and decorations.

You pinch yourself just to be sure this is not one of the fantasies you always dreamed about. Opening one of the doors you walk in just to see Kaeya peacefully sleeping in pillows and blankets. His hair messy and his eyepatch still on.

You don't want to wake him up yet you're too excited to wait. You run to him as you hug him tightly. Sweet tears rolling down your cheeks as you sniffle Kaeya's scent.

Kaeya tries to push you away murmuring from his sleep before sleepily opening his eyes. They are dark as the ocean as the sparkles died down. His smirk wasn't decorating his face anymore. Instead, he sighed rubbing his eyes.

You would stroke his cheeks as you hold his chin softly. You're saying reassuring words while smiling with glossy eyes. He finally realizes that you're real. Grabbing your hands to squeeze them and peppering your face with many kisses.

And after a whole hour of hugging each other and you telling him about your kidnapper he decides to go to knights of favounius so they can throw your kidnapper into jail.

However, as he stands up you suddenly stop him as you look at his body. You can see how skinny he got, how his bones are seen, and how his skin is pale. Not to mention the blue hair on the pillow signalizing hair loss.

And you realize that he barely ate. That's why there were boxes with untouched food.

"Later, I'm hungry can we go for lunch first?" You smile brushing your thumb against Kaeya's hand as he nods.

- it would take some time for Kaeya to start taking care of himself again. But when you're with him he is willing to try.

- He will take a break to spend time with you as you cook together and clean the house later even going for a walk.

- eventually, give him few months and he will be healthy again.

Catcall (you’re catcalled and he’s with you)

Same as Diluc, Kaeya is well known and has a reputation. There is no way someone would catcall you on purpose. Yet let's imagine some drunk group catcalling you in front of your boyfriend.

This would go based on how bold they are.

1; if they will call you baby or any pet name maybe hinting something romantic. Kaeya will just chuckle as he is listening to them. He wouldn't get angry as he thinks it's funny how they try to flirt with you. "You should watch what you say, honorary citizens," he smiles as he is supporting his chin.

2; they would get more inappropriate or even try to touch you. This would make Kaeya slightly alerted. When they say something inappropriate he just slowly moves you next to you or into his lap. Or he has a hand around your waist. They will notice him and leave you alone. Yet if they continue even touching you he would be pissed. He doesn't want to make a scene yet he has to make a move. He stood up taking his sword pointing it at the drunk person's chest. He is glaring at that person as the person shivers apologizing. Kaeya's gaze is terrifying. But as soon as the person apologizes he hides his sword sitting next to you again.

The person will probably never come to the tavern again.

Time (you’re ill and only have a few months to live)

Kaeya started noticing that the last few days you didn't felt very well. And the symptoms you were experiencing were quite unique. Pale skin and black bags under the eyes because of insomnia. Hairloss and muscle pain. You not being hungry and constant vomiting. Scars and bruises randomly appearing on your skin.

His eyebrows were scrunched as he had a sad expression on his face. Yet every time you greeted him he quickly smiled and giggled pulling you into a hug and giving you lots of affection. You knew something wasn't right with you too, but you tough maybe it was an allergy or just some mental illness that could go away with few herbs.

Eventually, after the symptoms continuing Kaeya decided to visit Albedo. This resulted in you spending the whole weekend at Albedo's place. He took your blood and saliva, checking your bones and trying to massage the muscles. Taking detailed notes very carefully.

And when the tests were done and you got to know you're slowly dying as your organs are slowly collapsing, you couldn't do anything but blankly stare onto the wall. You felt hopeless. You knew you had few days to live before dying a painful death yet you weren't ready. All your dreams and goals were left in the dust.

Kaeya on the other hand couldn't believe it. He was following Albedo around asking him if It's true and how can he help you. He pinched himself several times, trying to get out of this nightmare. Kaeya grew desperate as he begged Albedo on his knees to make medication. Albedo would of course love to help but he didn't know how so he would dismiss Kaeya over and over.

Kaeya's wasn't mentally well. He would be obsessed with finding some medication. Contacting Baizhu from Lyuie. Spending all his money on different doctors and different people. He didn't even realize that at this time he should pay attention to you and go on dates with you. Instead, he was away in different nations looking for herbs and scientists.

Die (their reaction when you die/your reaction when they die)

And once Kaeya finally arrives home full of despair as he got few herbs but no medication he slowly walks around the room. But before he can hug you and reassure you and spend time with you he finds you on the floor. You were just taking few painkillers writing a diary entry as you collapsed eventually your organs giving in.

He would sit down in panic his eyes glossy as his breathing is slow. "Breathe, common please breathe, to the archons. Lord barbatos y/n breathe," he repeats himself over and over as tears roll down his cheeks. His hands shaking as he cheks your heartbeat.

Your body so cold and your eyes blank. Without a pinch of life. And that's when he breaks down.

Completely sobbing at your dead body. Brushing his hands over your skin as he peppers your face with kisses. "I'm sorry I didn't try harder, I'm useless, I'm a burden. I can't do anything right," he kisses you. But nothing.

You didn't wake up.

He kisses you again expecting you to wake up. In movies, they always wake up.

But this is not a movie.

This is a painful reality.

[edenpoise]

E . ― IF CHARLIE WASN'T DIRECTLY GETTING IN HER WAY- EVE WOULD'VE BEEN PROUD. It wasn't often someone was able to disturb H E A V E N enough to cause such chaos. In truth, Charlie reminded Eve of Lilith- a woman that showed no hesitation for her beliefs. Someone ready to defend what she cared about with her very LIFE- yes, Eve could see it. Even if the girl took so much from her F A T H E R, from the rosy cheeks to the wide eyes of wonder. But Charlie had her Mother's ambition, her drive, her longing for a better place for her p e o p l e. It was all LILITH. She had wondered, many times how long she shall enjoy the peace. How long she shall keep the chains tied around necks in order to enjoy what she had longed for so many years. How long she would keep the QUEEN of HELL under her foot.

Maybe there had been a shred of pity inside of her, Lilith was her predecessor. The woman created to have the title of HUMANITY'S MOTHER- in a way, Eve had a shine towards the woman. She admired her, but also hatred everything that represented it as well. Perhaps that was more of her hatred for the KING OF HELL talking, but even still ... she finds herself paused in staring at the exhausted body of the first woman.

Dazed eyes had always been what spoke to her- the exhaustion and the constant chained that kept her bound. Kept her weak, it was the first time in many when she had noticed a s p a r k. Something that made Lilith tense, the information of her daughter. Eve could relate, if not for her children, Eve felt like her life would've devolved into nothing. Once again, she could relate to Lilith. Perhaps Lilith would feel the same sense of pride for a daughter which has done so much.

" Charlie is amazing, she longs so much for the d r e a m you set up. The betterment of hell and its CITIZENS .... heh, she considers the sinners people of her KINGDOM. It's almost ironic, don't you think ~? " She saw the irony ... Eve raises her hand, giving a small wave as if to dismiss the worry she could sense in the woman's voice, " Do not fret, you're daughter is fine. If anything, I think her motivation has only rose .... She has made a way for a S I N N E R to redeem. " She allows the information to sink, Eve gliding across the floor, fingers take Lilith's chin and tilts it upwards, " And Heaven wants it to stop, before it becomes out of their control. They want M E to stop her, now- I think we both know Heaven doesn't d e s e r v e my help ... our ... help. But, the deal I had made is now compromised. Adam is dead. "

[capricorn-stark]

Unexpected Encounters

pairing: dick grayson x reader, first encounter

warning: n/a

a/n: yeah I got nothing, pretty casual fic

part 2

Bludhaven was a city so miserable, it could give Gotham a run for its money any day of the week. 

You would know - after having lived in Gotham for most your life, only to end up relocating to Bludhaven for your job, you could whole-heartedly say that Bludhaven made you long for your dark, perpetually rain-drenched city. The place was practically like Gotham’s Crime Alley - if Crime Alley had been expanded to a house an entire city of people.

One of the biggest differences between the two, however, was that there was no silent guardian preventing the crime rate from steadily crawling upwards with each passing hour, no Dark Knight in the form of some stranger dressed up in a bat costume to save his citizens from killer clowns and watered-down furries in penguin costumes. In Bludhaven, you would simply manage to survive on your own, or you would get mugged and end up at the bottom of its polluted harbor for some poor soul to find weeks later. 

And that was simply how life was. 

Granted, those kind of thoughts definitely were not offering you comfort as you walked down the streets of Bludhaven yourself, keys between your fingers and the feel of your gun concealed in your other hand as you kept carefully drifting beneath the lights of the dying streetlamps, cautious of directing any sort of attention to yourself. You had missed your bus home after working a bit too late, and you couldn’t exactly wait around for the next one to arrive in another two hours. 

Luckily for you, you saw no real dangers tonight. 

Maybe, for once, it would be a quiet trip home. 

Naturally, you were immediately proven wrong.

You were a generally cautious person, as anyone who grew up in a city like Gotham had to be in order to survive there at all. You were careful of your surroundings, who you talked to, who you ran into, and where you walked. You were in no way stupid enough to go into a random alleyway because it just so happened to be a conveniently located “short-cut”. Ever.

You were smarter than that.

But you hadn’t noticed the presence of a man in a dark and worn hood trailing behind you for what, as far as you knew, could’ve been quite some time now, formerly concealed in the crowds you had walked through. He was only a few feet away from you now, his steps quickening ever so slightly when he noticed you catching sight of him in the window of a passing store. You remembered that you had seen that same man nearly five minutes prior a few blocks before. 

That, as anyone could’ve guessed, was definitely not a good sign. 

The crowds were thinning as you edged closer to your part of the city, fewer and fewer people lining the stores and alleys, with even fewer who looked like they would help you if you happened to need it. You couldn’t exactly dart into the nearest corner store and expect him to leave you alone, there was a much higher chance of him simply leaving your line of sight altogether and reappearing when you finally stepped outside. If you tried to book it, you were more than certain that a man that size could easily catch up.

The last option you had was a confrontation, but living in places like this for as long as you had, you were sure it could escalate immediately and leave you in a much, much worse situation. You had a gun, but you couldn’t gauge how effective it would be if he happened to have one himself, and this was Bludhaven. 

Everyone had a gun.

So, all your options were bad. You felt your grip around your gun tighten anyways as you walked faster, cursing under your breath as you noticed him doing the same behind you. Your heart was racing now, breath quickening as you tried to tell yourself that you were almost home, that you just had one more block to go before- 

“Excuse me, ma’am. Are you alright?” 

You looked up at the source of the new voice that had gotten you to stop in your tracks and meet a pair of bright blue eyes. The man in front of you offered you a reassuring smile as he tapped the badge on his uniform.

Bludhaven Police Department. 

“Someone bothering you?”

You turned your head to look back at where the man following you had been, only to feel a chill run down your spine as you realized he had disappeared into the shadows of the city, as if he hadn’t been there at all.

“I thought-” You cut yourself off, still staring at the people milling around left and right. “I thought there was someone-” He seemed to notice how shaken you were immediately, tearing his gaze away from the crowd and finally settling back to you, lips curving into another soft smile. Despite everything, it was strangely comforting to see.

“If it makes you feel better, I can walk you to your destination.” You couldn’t bring yourself to decline when your heart was still racing in your chest, so you managed a nod. The man pulled his jacket around him as he moved to fall into step alongside you after one last look into the crowds. “You’re sure you’re alright?” 

“Yeah, I am now,” you brushed off, wrapping your own jacket a little closer around your body as you made yourself fixate your gaze on the path ahead. Your fingers were hurting from the previous clutch of your keys. The gun had finally been fully tucked away. “Thanks, Detective-” You cut yourself off to get a closer look at his ID. “Grayson?” 

“Richard,” he offered with another smile, glancing at you in turn. “Well, I go by Dick, but-” he caught sight of your expression and laughed, shaking his head. “Richard’s fine, too.” You felt your face burn red and you tried to clear your throat.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s all good, I get it a lot. Can I ask for yours?” You chuckled a little before introducing yourself to him, shaking your head dismissively when he commented that it suited you. 

“Am I making you leave your post or something?” Dick waved that off immediately, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“Nah, I’m just patrolling this area tonight. I was about to head into the café down the street for some coffee when I saw you, and I thought you seemed a little alarmed.” His tone was even but kind, and it was easy for you to tell that he had been in this type of situation a million times before. “If you need anything, medical assistance, filing a report, I can take care of that.” 

You nodded slightly again, taking another deep breath as you felt your panic finally subside. His presence was comforting, and you were glad he was with you for the rest of the walk home. You still couldn’t bring yourself to think about what might’ve happened if he hadn’t shown up. 

You wouldn’t be missing the bus again any time soon, that was certain.

“I was just surprised,” you finally started, feeling a twinge of embarrassment creep up your face for no apparent reason. As if you were the one who should’ve been more careful. “I didn’t see him - I guess I wasn’t as careful as I thought I was.” 

“Don’t think that’s on you, because it wasn’t your fault,” he started at once, apparently having been able to read your mind. “Creeps like that are running around all over this place, you can’t expect to see all of them coming. I’m just glad you’re alright.” You nodded again, pulling the jacket a little tighter before you sneaked another glance up at him. 

You hadn’t exactly seen much of what he looked like beneath the dingy light of the streetlamps, but as you edged towards your apartment complex, you could finally see his face beneath the brighter lighting. 

You noticed the striking blue eyes first, of course, accompanied by strong, defined features, jet black hair, and a surprising look of youthfulness despite the fact that he had sounded like he’d be a bit older. The light crinkles by his eyes told you he was the kind of person who tended to smile a lot. 

Clearly, he was very, very handsome.

“I’m actually pretty new to this whole gig,” he commented as he scanned around the street you were on, snapping you out of your not-so subtle staring. “Moved from Gotham a few months ago, found a job with the BDP. They definitely appreciated having new hires around, with the state this city’s in.” 

“So did I,” you blurted out in surprise, causing him to raise a brow at you. “Not working with the BDP - but I moved here a few months ago, too, from Gotham. I lived there my whole life.” 

“Well, look at that,” he laughed, seeming rather incredulous but certainly pleased at the finding. “I guess we have that in common. Some move, huh, thinking Gotham’s about as bad it gets before getting smacked with Bludhaven?” You actually laughed at that in turn, nodding in agreement.

“No super-people flying around to save the place, either. Tragic.” 

“I’m sure one’s gonna show up around here eventually,” he dismissed, following you when you motioned towards your building in the distance. “If there’s any place that needs some of them around, it’s here.”

“As what, Bludhaven’s version of Batman?” you deadpanned, imagining what things would be like if another man in a bat costume started running around and beating up street-thugs. At least the crime rates might dip. “As long as he doesn’t come with more psychotic clowns, I guess we could use one. Even if that means changing my insurance plan to fit him in.” 

“Better safe than sorry,” Dick agreed, corners of his lips twitching into another almost mischievous grin that caused your face to redden in the dark. “Doesn’t have to be another Batman, maybe it’ll be someone new.”

“As long as they take care of the city, I think I won’t care who it is,” you decided with another light chuckle, stopping in front of your building and looking up at him. “I just hope they’ll be cut out for the job.” He stopped in front of you with another smile, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. 

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see, huh?” You found yourself mirroring the action, feeling rather amused by the statement.

“I guess we will.”

The brief moment of silence between you was interrupted by him clearing his throat, moving to grab the handle of the door for you at the same time you tried to do it yourself, ending with the both of you promptly colliding apologizing profusely while backing away from the door altogether. 

“Sorry, I didn’t - sorry-” he cut himself off by reaching out to pull the door open for you again with an awkward laugh, not unlike your own. “I hope I’ll see you around here on a better note,” Dick finalized with one last apologetic grin, letting you slip past him and into the building. 

“You mean when I’m not speed-walking away from creeps running around Bludhaven?” you chuckled in response, shouldering your bag off-handedly. “Definitely, I agree. Thank you, Dick.” 

He made a show of dramatically tipping his hat towards you before turning on his heel, still smiling to himself. 

“Pleasure’s mine.” 

[guiltydumpling]

The Guard: Chapter 5

[KUVIRA X READER ROYAL AU]

Summary: “I called you all here to announce that we have a guest arriving sometime later today. Princess Y/N of the Kingdom of Elysian” The people in the throne room looked at one another confusingly. “Their palace was under sieged and the king had to send the princess away to keep her safe from any assassination attempts. Their kingdom has done a lot for us and has proven to be great allies for generations. She’s come a long way and has been traveling for a week, I expect nothing less than for all of you to treat her as you do a member of the royal family and to attend to everything and anything, she might ask for… This poor child has already been through too much.” There was silence in the throne room for a while, as they let the information sink in. “Dismissed.”

A/N: Hi beautiful beings <3 Holy crap i’m back and I know it took me like a thousand years to update and I really have no excuse for that but I’ve been receiving messages and question about whether or not I will continue this story and guess what... YES I WILL! there’s only about 2 chapters left after this and an epilogue so watch out for that and thank you so much for the support! This is my first ever fic so I never expected to get this much love from the readers! anyway... Enjoy ;)

Word Count: 4.7k

~ ~ ~

He’s dead… your father is dead. They told you he was poisoned by the wine that was served during the peace negotiation meeting, that the poison didn’t take effect until he was brought into his chambers for the night and his mouth started to foam, blood coming out of his nose and ears, before he collapsed on the floor and that his body wasn’t discovered until the next morning when his servants would usually get him ready for the day. You were saddened by your father’s death but mostly angered.

You were sat on the training grounds on the bench where you first opened up to Kuvira about your kingdom’s situation. You felt your eyes burn from all the tears you have shed for not only your father but your home. You stared at the stars that lit up the dark sky and all you could think about in this moment was your sister. How different things would be if she were still here you thought.

A few moments later and you did not move from your position when you hear someone walking towards you. You didn’t have to turn around to see who it was because you already knew who would be stupid enough or brave enough or both, to follow you when you clearly wanted to be alone.

“I’m sorry about your father” Kuvira spoke a few feet from where you were sitting.

“Why are you sorry? You weren’t the one that killed him” you said coldly. All manners and sensitivity abandoned.

She didn’t speak for a while and you turned your head to finally meet her eyes. They were sad and full of worry for you and somehow you felt a pang of guilt, she just wanted to be there for you. “Sit with me?” you ask her in a softer tone, and she does. You grab her hand to intertwine your fingers with her and you place it on your lap turning your attention back to the stars as you both sat there quietly.

Kuvira loved to banter and tease, it was basically her form of endearment not only towards you but to everyone around her that she cared about. Despite that, she knows exactly when you just needed silence and her presence alone. This was one of those times and you were so thankful for that.

“I guess I’m a queen now” you say as a matter of fact and she hums in response.

“I would be lying if I said that I never wanted to be queen. I’ve thought about it once or twice when I was a stupid child, but I would always push the thought back when I would come to the realization of what exactly being queen would cost me.” And you were right. It cost you everything. Your sister, your father, your home, your happiness, your freedom, everything.

“Have I ever told you about my sister?” you asked her, not tearing your eyes away from the sky.

“No. But I know you two were close” She says

“We were.” You gently smiled at the memory of you and your sister running around court, hiding from your guards because all you wanted to do was play in the garden all day. You two were inseparable.

“My father would often joke about how we were practically joint at the hip.” You continue and you see Kuvira smile gently from your peripheral.

“We were both opposites in everything. From our duties, to our skills, even to our aspirations. You see, my sister loved being a firebender. You should have seen her when she first discovered her gift, she nearly burned down the garden.” You say with a slight laugh.

“Our father had her trained by the best masters in our kingdom and she became a master herself. She was stubborn as well, that’s what made her a great fighter. She was outspoken and rowdy and very much like my father when he was in his youth. Or at least that’s what our servants would tell me. I on the other hand took from my mother, I was quiet and timid, I devoured book after book, practiced the discipline of art and music, and I wanted pretty much nothing but to be able to see the world and its beauty and culture. That was my destiny. To share my gift of knowledge to the people around me, and hopefully contribute to it. However, my sister, was destined to stay in Elysian and be responsible for our family’s line and heritage. But she had other plans in mind. She wanted to become a soldier, she wanted to fight, and that meant having to renounce the family name and her title in order to do so, and you can only imagine how furious father was when she told him. They got into a huge fight after that conversation and they barely talked afterwards. That’s when their relationship started to wither. She would often escape at night to go to town and observe civilians living their life according to their will, she told me it was fascinating, and she was jealous of them all, then she met this man. He was just a farmer’s son and he didn’t know the real identity of my sister, so he pursued her, and they fell in love. But one of the roaming soldiers caught them half undressed in one of the stables behind the man’s home and they dragged the man away for violating her highness.” You paused for a while, remember the poor man’s face, he was so terrified and clueless at the time. Dragged in chains, when all he was doing was spending the night with the woman he loved and thought he knew.

“They sentenced him to be exiled and had his family’s land stripped from them as payment for dishonoring royal blood with peasant hands. I heard his father was killed in an alley by angry citizens because of the deeds of his own son, and that his mother died from a disease that could not be treated because they no longer had the means to pay for medication, leaving his little sister to sell herself to desperate low-life men just to be able to fill her stomach. My sister had every right to be furious. She was put under supervision the entire day and had the guards stationed in her chambers doubled at night. Chantou ordered the exile sentence of the man and told my father that he should find my sister a husband soon so that this kind of thing does not happen again. And that’s what my father did. He wrote a proposal to one of our allies and they agreed that marrying their offspring would make a better knot than any treaty would.” You shake your head in disapproval of the memories and let out a sigh of pity for your sister.

“Months passed and her marriage was nearing. She barely left her room so I only saw her once a week at best, and whenever she would have conversations with my father it would end in a screaming match or at least one of them storming out of the room. My father believed that what he was doing was for the best, or at least that’s what he told himself when Chantou was basically gaslighting my father into forcing my sister into submission… The night before her wedding, she didn’t leave her room the entire day. It was late at night when I heard a crash in her room since I was only across the hall from her. When I tried to check on her myself, she was being held down by two of the guards and she was thrashing around, blood on her feet and knuckles while her handmaiden tried to calm her down. She was having a meltdown basically. When she saw me enter the room, she settled down quite bit and just started crying hysterically while her handmaiden looked at me with pleading eyes not knowing what to do anymore. The room was a mess, there were shards of glass on the floor and flipped furniture but all I could think about was how I barely recognized her. She was much thinner, her eyes were circled dark, and her hair was all over her face. I felt so bad for her.” You say feeling your chest tighten.

“I told the guards to let her go and that I would take care of her which immediately got her to finally settle down and I had her handmaiden and guards leave us alone so I could personally attend to her. Which I did. None of us spoke as I cleaned her up and put her in bed before I attempted to clean up the mess, she made in her room. I didn’t want to leave her just in case she woke up and had an episode again, so I decided to sleep on the couch of her room. A few moments later I was woken up by a cold breeze and when I opened my eyes, I saw the balcony window wide open and I immediately searched for my sister on her bed, but she wasn’t there anymore.” You feel the tears start to brim in your eyes, but you held it down not wanting to cry anymore.

“I immediately got up and went straight to the balcony and that was when I saw her… just standing still on the railings, wind blowing her nightgown and unkempt hair. I didn’t know what to do and I… I was frozen in place. But I called her, and she looked back at me with tears in her emotionless eyes as she told me she loved me. I told her I loved her back and that I would always be there for her… I was begging her to come down from the railing, but she just stared at me…then she asked me if I really loved her, which of course I said yes to, and then she smiled, for the first time since the day of her lover’s exile she smiled… the only reply she gave me was “good. Then take care of everything for me okay?” those were her last words and she just… jumped. And I don’t remember much but I think I was screaming? Or maybe I was trying to, but nothing seemed to come out. But I passed out on the balcony and woke up in my room with my father sitting on the foot of my bed only to tell me that my sister committed suicide.” You finish, and you swallow the lump in your throat as you held Kuvira’s hand tighter.

“Is that why your sister’s death took such a big toll on your father? Perhaps he felt like it was his fault?” She asked carefully and you nod your head to confirm.

As much as Kuvira felt bad for your sister she couldn’t help but feel her blood boil. How could your sister do that to you? Leave all the mess she created to you? Even the audacity to take her life in front of you while you were begging her not to. Why did everything have to fall on your shoulders?

And now your father is gone, your home is in a civil war, and you were blaming yourself for everything when none of this was ever in your control. You had such big dreams, and you had such a big heart. Why is that all being wasted on a mistake you didn’t make?

Call Kuvira biased, but you absolutely did not deserve any of this.

After a while you chuckled lightly at the stars before you, causing Kuvira to raise an eyebrow at you. “What’s so funny?” she asks, and you simply shrug

“When my sister died, I was so angry… I wanted to lash out on everyone and everything but my father… He was silent. I would often catch him sitting on my sister’s balcony at night staring at the sky and when I asked him why, he told me that he used to do that too when my mother passed away. He said that our ancestors used to say that when somebody we love crosses the afterlife, they become our guardians… and the stars we see are actually their eyes looking down on us from the heavens.” You explain

“That’s beautiful” She comments

“It’s bullshit” you state abruptly. “I always thought it was stupid, something old people would say to comfort the young when they would lose someone” you paused, eyes still searching the stars. “But why is it that all I’m trying to do right now is look for their eyes?” you wonder out loud. Desperation perhaps? You wanted a sign, anything, that will indicate what to do next. If the stars were really your loved ones watching over you, then why has nothing in your life worked out for you?

You felt alone. Then you turn to the person beside you. The person who was still holding your trembling hands and sat beside you in your darkest moment and will continue to do so as long you allow her to. You weren’t alone. You had her. She was the only one you had.

You turn to her, taking your free hand, you bring it to her face and slowly caress her cheek. She looks at you with a slight confusion at the sudden affection but places hand above yours anyway.

“Promise me something.” You whisper to her “Promise me that your different. That you’ll stay… Promise me you won’t leave me?” you whisper in a desperate tone, tears threatening to fall from your eyes and Kuvir smiles gently at you. “I love you. Spirits know how much I do… I promise I’ll never leave you.” Kuvira whispered back, lump forming in her throat.

She promised you that she will never leave you and she knew in her heart and her soul that she never could even if she tried. But everything’s different now. You had duties; you were queen. No amount of love in this stupid world could ever provide you a legitimate heir with her. It was you who had to leave her.

She pulled you into a hug and you pressed your cheeks against her chest, letting your tears flow freely once more. “I love you so much” you sniffled.

~ ~ ~

You were now seated on the edge of your bed with Kuvira sprawled on the sheets beside you.

“I think the Avatar may be paying us a visit tomorrow” She stated

“Yeah?” You asked unconsciously eyes glued to your lap. You feel Kuvira shift from her initial position to crawl over to your side on the bed before snaking her arms round your waist, resting her chin on your shoulder. “hey…” she whispered gently, and you hummed in response, still not moving a muscle.

“You need to rest” she said her tone laced with concern for you.

You did need rest. Your eyes were sore from crying and you simply don’t have enough energy to even hug Kuvira back. You were so tired.

You nodded you head and turn your face towards her and kissed her cheek as you smile gently at the woman. “Scoot over” you say, and she does exactly that.

You laid under the covers in the dark, your legs tangled with Kuvira’s arms wrapped around you as you rest your head on her chest feeling her calming breath.

“What are you thinking about?” you asked after a few moments of silence.

“Honestly? Your guard.” She said with a slight chuckle

“What about him?” you asked in curiosity

“He must be wondering why I still have not left your room” she responded, and you gave a light laugh

“Don’t worry… He’s a great secret keeper” you assured her, and she simply nodded, trusting your judgement.

“Stay with me ‘til I wake up?” you asked her, and she lets out a sigh causing you to look up and meet her emerald eyes. “Please?” you pleaded, and she looks at you sadly, already giving you the answer to your question. “It’s fine.” You simply say turning away from her once more and you feel her hand gently caress you.

“You know I would if I could… please don’t be upset.” She explained and you simply shook your head

“No, I’m not upset… I understand you have your duties, it’s just… sad.” You explain

“Damn… love sucks.��� Kuvira mutters and you couldn’t help but give light chuckle nodding your head in agreement.

“Yeah… it does.” You responded.

After a few moments you started to feel your eyes go droopy and you felt Kuvira’s breathing slow down as well. “Stay beside me in the meeting tomorrow, okay?” you muttered half asleep earning a hum of acknowledgment from Kuvira as you both gave in to the comfort of sleep.

~ ~ ~

You woke up the next morning from the sunlight peeking through your curtains and you slowly open your eyes. Instinctively, the first thing your body does is stretch your arm across your bed to Kuvira’s side only to feel a pang of disappointment when she was no longer there. You knew she wouldn’t be. But you couldn’t help but hope.

As per usual, Zhu Li helped you get ready for the day, dressing you in all black as a sign of grief and the next thing you know you were seated in the war room across the Avatar. Your guard and Empress Suyin were in the room as well, with Kuvira seated beside you.

“We received a message from Elysian, it’s addressed to you, your majesty.” Your guard starts, retrieving an envelope and handing it over to you.

The room was quiet while they patiently waited for you to finish the letter. It was from Chantou. And he was asking your hand in marriage. Why were you not surprised?

Chantou was not a nice man. He was greedy and always wanted what he could not have, but even though, he was smart about everything. All his moves calculated from the very beginning or you wouldn’t have been in this mess otherwise.

You knew exactly why he was asking your hand in marriage. Your marriage would make him legitimate because as of now, to the eyes of your people, he was a usurper, which was exactly what he was. But with you as rightful heir, Elysians will accept him. Your people loved the royal family and for a traitor like Chantou who did not have any claim to the throne, it was no question if the Elysian people might kill him themselves. He needed you. And as much is made your stomach churn, you needed him too. At least for now, as you try to claim your birth right. You needed the nobles on your side again, and right now, they were loyal to him.

You look up from the letter to meet 4 pair of eyes on you, eagerly waiting for you to tell them what was on it.

“Chantou’s asking my hand in marriage” you finally say, and their reaction were exactly what you expected. Confusion, anger, disgust, and for the woman beside you, fear.

“Like hell you would!” The avatar exclaimed but you simply kept quiet.

“He must be crazier than I thought if he thinks you are ever going to agree to that!” Kuvira commented but still, you remained silent. “Right?” she pressed, her eyes trying to meet yours, but you refuse. Instead, your eyes meet Suyin’s. She knew exactly what you were thinking, and she knew exactly why he was asking your hand in marriage. In her time as an empress, she has probably seen all kinds of tactics people use just to gain the power they didn’t deserve. This was one of them.

“Your majesty.” Kuvira speaks once more, this time in a lower more demanding tone and you finally meet her eyes.

“I’ve decided to accept it.” You finally say and together with the avatar and your guard, Kuvira give you a look of disbelief.

You decided to explain yourself and your decision to them. Talking to them about why he asked your hand in marriage and why you were willing to accept such terms. The Avatar, being her usual brash self, told you to just take Elysian back by force. But you rebutted by arguing that you did not have enough men or resources to do such thing. Meanwhile, Kuvira was kept silent.  Her jaws were clenched and was breathing heavily but you tried your best not pay much attention to it as you stood by your decision.

After a few moments of discussion Suyin finally speaks up. “Maybe we should give this a little more thought and process… Of course, I’m not suggesting that you have not your majesty” She said, careful to not offend you. “But perhaps its best if we let ourselves clear our heads and we can come back maybe later in the day to discuss your final decision. If you still wish to accept his proposal… then I personally will support, you.” She finishes and you give her a gentle smile.

You doubt you were going to change your mind but for everyone’s sake, you agreed and had dispersed.

~ ~ ~

You were near the training grounds shooting arrows to a target with your guard a few feet behind you. Shooting arrows used to be an activity that got your mind off of things, but now it just achingly reminds you of your father. A few shots later you heard steps coming towards you. You didn’t bother looking when you knew exactly who those footsteps belong to.

The footsteps came to a halt and you saw Kuvira’s figure in your peripheral. You already knew her purpose for finding you and you just honestly did not have the energy or the heart right now to tell her that you were going to push through your decision. Choosing to ignore her, you continue shooting arrows.

“Leave us.” Kuvira states, tone filled with authority. No wonder why the other guards around here are terrified of her. You thought.

The look at your guard to give a nod for approval and he distances himself from the two of you, far enough for conversation privacy but close enough that he can still keep his eyes on you.

“What do you want Kuvira?” you ask in the most neutral tone you could muster as you shot another arrow.

“Don’t act like you don’t know why I’m here Y/N” she answers, tone still laced with authority.

You took a deep breath before shooting another arrow. Bullseye. You put the bow down and turned to finally look at her. She was fuming. You couldn’t quite put your finger on the exact emotion she was expressing just yet, but you knew it was anything good.

You took a deep breath before answering her, “I’ve made up my mind. I’m going through with my decision. If you don’t like that, then leave.” You say, trying your hardest to not show any emotion. You couldn’t.

“How could you say that? To me, of all people! Do you honestly believe that marrying that son of a bitch is the only way out of this?!” She raises her voice taking a few steps towards you and you almost stepped back, but you held your ground.

“No! It’s not the only way! I can just easily declare a civil war right now and hold on to my pride and title as I let nameless soldiers die on the field while I sit in my chambers drinking tea waiting for a victory, I didn’t take part in! Or I can stop it. Right here. Right now. Without anybody else getting hurt!” You challenged her. It was true. You thought about the options you could take and it all just ended up either more people dying or simply losing. This wasn’t the only way to win back your kingdom, but it was the best way to do it.

“Then don’t.” Kuvira states and you raise a brow in confusion. “That’s what I just said… I don’t underst--what? Haven’t you been listening to what I’ve been saying since the meeting?!” you groan in frustration. Kuvira takes a step towards you not turning her eyes away from your evidently confused features.

“Don’t declare a civil war. Let us do it.” She explains and you feel your breath hitch. You shake your head and take a step back trying to process what she’s saying. “This is madness Kuvira… even for you…”

Having Zaofu declare war on behalf of your family was a huge risk to their empire. You can’t say the thought never crossed your mind when you arrived in Zaofu and you saw the thousands upon thousands of elite soldiers, bender and non-benders alike, not to mention the resources they have remaining stagnant. You knew that you had nothing to lose and that’s what makes declaring a war yourself moot, you had nothing to bargain with but your claim to the throne. How selfish do you have to be just to claim back your kingdom? Your home?

“You’ve seen Zaofu yourself your majesty, we have more strength and power than the wealthiest kingdoms combined. Declaring war on your behalf won’t even cost us half of our excess” She explains, basically confirming your theory. “And what of the empress? What will she have to say about this rash decision you are proposing to me?” you ask as a matter of fact. Your heart was racing, and your palms were getting clammy from this conversation. Why? You’ve yet to figure that out yourself.

“Su just lost one of her most loyal and strongest allies and her best friend. She’s not about to let the remaining daughter of the two people she cared about the most, to sell herself to a usurper when she gave her word that she will protect you at any cost.” Kuvira states and she takes your hand into hers eager to see your face to give her a hint of what you’re thinking right now. Your hands were trembling, and you were feeling guilt eat your heart and soul. Is this the cost for salvation? Selfish drive and wishful thinking? What would your father do? What would your mother say? What would your sister tell you?

You lightly shake your head, still not fully accepting this decision “no… I don- ugh! Spirits, I don’t know what to do!” you let out in frustration. And Kuvira put her index below your chin to gently tilt your head up to meet her gaze. “You are the smartest woman I know. You always know what to do…” She whispers and you feel tears forming when you let out a sigh.

You knew what to do. You just didn’t want to admit it. Your first plan had a lot of flaws in it to start with. Chantou could just easily poison you like he did with your father and declare you died of illness to your people after he gains their favor. You would’ve never ceased the throne back, not to mention you had to have eyes at the back of your head 24/7 knowing that nobody was loyal to you in the palace anymore.

Kuvira’s proposal was exactly what you needed. A display of external power and allies. A reminder to Chantou that his claim to Elysia threatened our close powerful allies, and that they would not sit idly by as they watch their sister kingdom perish. It was the right thing to do.

It’s the right thing to do.

Kuvira cups your face into her hands, and you are forced to look at her once more. “Su loves you. Your people love you. I love you. And I know that your father would never want you to go through your original plan because he died to save you and Elysia. Please… Let Zaofu fight for you… Let me fight for you”

You feel the tears forming in your eyes cascade down your face and you give her a gentle smile. The first time you did anything for yourself was when you confessed your love to Kuvira. And now… you’re letting yourself be selfish once more.

“Okay.” You finally answer.

[yumeyooa]

01—the whimsical tune | sugawara koushi

—as per royal tradition, prince sugawara koushi, second in line to the throne of the kingdom of corvus, is to spend one whole spring in the kingdom of angora, strengthening relations between the two neighbouring kingdoms. but while exploring the forests of the otherwise mysterious land, he comes across a rather curious stranger, gracing the woodlands with her whimsical tunes and enigmatic melodies. The more they meet, the more enchanted he becomes and sugawara soon finds himself diving deep into her everything; not knowing of the dangerous wonders that would befall him the more he falls

➢  pairing: sugawara koushi x female! reader

➢ genre: fluff | angst | royal au | supernatural au | strangers to lovers | prince! sugawara | rated 15

➢ word count: 11.9k+ 

➢  warning: i may or may not have overused the word brother at the first half... 

➢ love letter: okay so i may have gotten carried away, and my hand may have slipped but i hope you enjoy this chapter!! let me know what you think! i’d appreciate the feedback hehe

want to be tagged? send in an ask!

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It was pretty unusual to see the Imperial Training Grounds so lively this early in the morning. 

Granted, it wasn't that early. The sun was just about to reach its peak, gracing the earth with its blistering heat, and the royal knights, the most established military organization in the kingdom, were about to have their long-awaited lunch break, but even so, they couldn't miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 

It wasn't every day that two of the kingdom's princes had a sparring match, after all. 

The second prince, Sugawara Koushi, grunts as he takes a defensive stance against his half-brother and heir to the throne, Sawamura Daichi. He's never been fond of sword fighting. It confused him how one (many actually) could enjoy the art of battling to the death. Sword fighting was gruesome, bloody, and downright nasty. It was something he did out of necessity. Even if he excelled over the regular knights in the palace, he would still never do so willingly. It was more to keep his pride as royalty if you will. 

But Daichi? Daichi excelled in sword fighting. Abnormally so. It was a miracle to Sugawara that he could even hold his ground against him. The crown prince was a master swordsman, skillfully wielding his blade against his own like it were mere child's play; that stupid, obnoxious smirk plastered on his face, a sight that got Sugawara's blood boiling. 

"Are you ready to give in, brother?" Daichi taunts, striking once more as Sugawara rushes to defend himself, causing an uproar of admiration from the crowd. With his subjects watching, it would be shameful for him to just give in, no matter how much Sugawara wanted to admit defeat and just sit down on a nearby bench and rest. 

But alas, his pride was on the line. 

"As if, brother," Sugawara taunts back, quickly unveiling a counter-attack that managed to catch Daich off guard. "Perhaps the one who should give in is you."

The satisfying feeling that came with seeing the look of shock on Daichi's face was perhaps one of the only things that Sugawara enjoyed about sword fighting. The rush of adrenaline and euphoria vibrated within his veins, and for a second, Sugawara felt alive. It felt good to have the upper hand, even if it was just for a moment. It somehow reminded him of the times when he and Daichi would sneak out while their tutor wasn't watching and play around the palace gardens. A time when they could just be brothers and not princes with the weight of the kingdom on their shoulders. 

Nowadays, those moments were few and far between. But that didn't mean they were completely gone. 

The look of shock on Daichi's face fades into one of playfulness that Sugawara's sure mirrors his own. The only reason Sugawara would ever agree to a sparring match in the first place was because it was one of the only ways he and Daichi could truly bond as brothers, a time where they could let down their guard for just a few moments, even if it meant being edged on by the royal knights. 

Sugawara smiles, offering his brother a helping hand, to which Daichi takes with a laugh, hoisting himself up, before wrapping an arm around Sugawara and ruffling his hair playfully, causing laughter amongst the troops. 

"Since when did you have the upper hand, little brother?" Daichi teases, a bright smile plastered on his face. "You've gotten quite strong since the last time we sparred!"

"Says the one who took it easy on me," Sugawara scoffs, rolling his eyes playfully. "Never took you as one with a soft heart, brother."

"Me?" Daichi gasps exaggeratedly. "Why, whatever are you talking about?" 

There's a small silence that befalls the two princes before they burst into laughter once more, separating from their 'embrace' and giving each other a handshake. 

"I'll get you for real next time," Sugawara playfully promises as the brothers make their way towards a bench, waving the commander to dismiss the knights for their break in the process, to which he does, the crowd dispersing into smaller groups.

"You always say that, brother," Daichi remarks, rolling his eyes as his own knight offers him a glass of cold water and a towel, to which he accepts gratefully. "Yet it always ends up the same way."

"Ugh," Sugawara groans, taking his own towel and water from his knight. "You don't have to remind me."

The two brothers laugh once more, wiping off the sweat from their faces and gulping down the water they were provided. The silence is only momentarily, however, as Sugawara's attendant approaches the duo staunchly. 

"This servant greets His Royal Highnesses." Sugawara smiles, noticing the nervous look on his attendant's face. However, it was a given, considering he wasn't that familiar with his older brother, as he was pretty new (well, if you consider three years new, that is). 

"It's alright, Yamaguchi," Sugawara reassures, handing the empty cup to his knight, who takes it from his hand. "No need to feel so nervous around the crown prince. What is it?"

At his words, Yamaguchi calms down, and Sugawara smiles at the sight of his shoulders relaxing and his stance becoming a bit more confident. Sugawara treated Yamaguchi like a younger brother, mainly because he personally chose him as his attendant after the scandal that came with the previous one. 

"Your highness," Yamaguchi says, turning his attention towards Sugawara. "His majesty, the king, requests for your presence."

"Me?" Sugawara exclaims before he can think about that. "Are you sure?" Yamaguchi nods, eyes darting from Daichi to Sugawara warily. "Yes, your highness."

"Well, that's odd," Sugawara mumbles to himself before turning to his brother, who was busy looking over the knights who were all over the training grounds, a small smile on his face. "Do you have any idea what business father has with me, brother?"

"No," Daichi says after a few moments, turning to him. "I'm afraid not."

A frown adorns Sugawara's face as he takes his brother's words in. It was rare for their father to call him alone. After all, Sugawara was the second prince. He was never given as much attention as his brother Daichi, especially because Sugawara's mother was a concubine. 

It was known throughout the kingdom that the king greatly loved the queen and had only taken in concubines out of pressure from his advisors and administrators. The love the king and queen had for each other was pure and true, a love that was praised and admired by all citizens of the Kingdom of Corvus, no matter what class they were. 

And Daichi was the perfect fruit of their love. Tall, handsome, charismatic. Sawamura Daichi was the epitome of what the crown prince should be, a great leader and an outstanding heir to the throne who excelled in all aspects, from etiquette to swordsmanship and ironically enough, even a social life— despite what others might think. 

But Sugawara? Sugawara was a product of convenience. A child born to strengthen the kingdom's power. His mother, the first concubine, was a hostage from an abandoned kingdom, forced to spend the rest of her life in solitude, with scornful eyes watching her every move.

She was a mere trophy in the eyes of the kingdom, but to Sugawara, she was so much more than that.

Despite all the turmoil his father had brought to her, Sugawara's mother had cared for him with all the love she had left within the confines of her shattered heart. To his mother, Sugawara was her pride and joy.

Which was why he lived with the hope of making her life just a tad bit better, yet it was hard to do so with his brother—whom he loved and adored as well, mind you—blocking his path.

So now that the opportunity presented itself in front of Sugawara, he was nervous. His father had great expectations for his children, as seen in how he praised Daichi for every triumph he brought to the kingdom. Although the love his father had for him was not as great as his brother's, Sugawara can only hope that he'd do well enough to be acknowledged and not mess up to the point where he'd be thrown away. 

This nervousness that bubbles from within him makes the palace walls seem more intimidating than they already are. He stands in front of the throne room's doors, which loomed over him with its own majesty. The guards that stood in front of those very doors bowed in respect to him, moving to the side to open the way for him to get through, announcing his arrival.

The king sat on the throne in all of his glory, adorned in the most expensive fabrics and jewels, his crown sitting elegantly on top of his head. Eyes stern with power and regality, just as a king should have as his guards and advisers surrounded him. The throne beside him, belonging to the queen, was empty, which Sugawara expected. 

It was a known secret to the royal family that the queen wasn't particularly fond of the throne room, as she preferred to show her prestige as queen in more mundane ways, a trait Sugawara admired. 

"I greet the kingdom's brightest sun," Sugawara says, bowing down in front of his father as a courtesy. Sometimes, he hated the royal greetings. Whose idea was it to greet royalty in such an outlandish manner when they could simply say 'Your majesty?' Honestly, as much as Sugawara was well-versed in noble etiquette, he still couldn't quite understand its absurdity. 

"My son, have you been well?" For a moment, Sugawara doesn't know what to do. His father rarely outwardly showed his care and affection to him, much more so in front of an audience. Usually, when Sugawara was called in by his father, things were settled straight to the point, with no chatter in between. 

But those matters were usually simple (well, as simple as they could be) matters such as dealing with incompetent aristocrats or handling minuscule scandals. This small chatter between father and son meant that his father had called him for something more important than anything he's ever called him for before, and Sugawara can only hope that he would be able to fulfill the expectations that came with it. 

"Yes, father," Sugawara responds, snapping out of his trance. "The Ancient Ones have blessed me with their grace and have granted me good health." 

The Ancient Ones were the guardian deities of the Kingdom of Corvus. Ancient beings with divine energy that made a pact with their human ancestors thousands of years ago. The kingdom thrived on a peaceful relationship with the deities, creating a harmonious balance that sustained the nation in every aspect. They were revered beings, even more potent than the strongest men. And anyone who dared disrespect them, regardless of their status, was to be dealt with immediately.

"Good," the king nods, not even a drop of emotion showing on his face. It unnerved yet relieved Sugawara at the same time as he waited for his father to continue, curiosity and nervousness flowing throughout him. 

"My son, are you familiar with the Kingdom of Angora?" There's a subtle hint hidden within the King's words, a warning if you will. It was almost as if his words were a test, a challenge to see if the king had made the right choice in choosing Sugawara to carry out the task he was about to give. 

"To an extent, father," Sugawara replies, gathering his thoughts slowly. The Kingdom of Angora was a kingdom south of Corvus, known for its incredible power and advanced civilization. It was a kingdom that was significantly more powerful than their own in terms of status and influence. "Angora is a kingdom that has a long-established relationship with our kingdom, most especially in terms of trade and commerce." 

The king remains silent, urging his son to continue. "For years, our kingdom has provided bountiful crops in exchange for their one-of-a-kind inventions. Allying with the kingdom of Angora has helped accelerate the rate of development within the kingdom to a tremendous degree."

"That is right," the king says, nodding in approval. "And to strengthen our relationship with Angora, every twenty years, our kingdom sends over a delegation to theirs and vice versa. Are you aware of this?"

If Sugawara were honest, not so much. After all, he had just turned twenty a year ago, so this event was not brought up as much as it should have been during his childhood years. Moreover, whenever the subject was brought up, his tutor often brushed it off, reassuring Sugawara that he would not be part of the delegation if ever the event were to occur. 

Yet, it seemed as if his tutor was mistaken. 

"Yes, father," Sugawara says, knowing that saying anything other than that would disappoint the king. It is only at this answer does the king show even the slightest of emotion, a cunning yet satisfied smile on his face. 

"Excellent," he gleefully remarks, leaning back on his throne. "Sugawara, my child. After careful consideration and consultation with my advisers, it is with great pleasure that I have decided that you will be our representative to be sent to the Kingdom of Angora. Isn't that just marvelous?" 

The King's laughter almost feels as if it were mocking him, Sugawara thinks to himself. As far as he knows, the delegation lasts for one whole spring. And as much as Sugawara appreciates the change of pace, the announcement still seems like a low blow. 

Because as much as the delegation was an honor and an opportunity on the surface, any noble who was familiar with the king knew how much he despised the kingdom of Angora, despite their excellent relationship. Perhaps it was an inferiority complex, but Sugawara's father just couldn't stand the sight of an empire with more power than he has. It was only thanks to the queen that he hadn't acted on this selfish desire in the first place. 

So despite what others might think, the people chosen for the delegation were those that the king was not particularly fond with. This means that Sugawara would be stuck with nobles who have ongoing conflicts with the king throughout the journey or with the royal family in general. Which was not going to be pretty in the slightest. 

But, what the king says, goes. And despite how much Sugawara wanted to avoid being stuck with judgemental nobles, waiting for their chance to bring the royal family down, he couldn't. So with a sigh, he brings himself back together and looks up at his father, who was looking back at him with an expectant gaze. 

"Indeed, father. It is an honor to serve the kingdom in this manner. I shall do my best to meet your expectations and bring glory to the nation." While Sugawara bows, his father lets out heft laughs, his advisors clapping and nodding along with him. 

"Wonderful! As expected of my second child." There's malice in his father's words, one that never fails to send shivers down his spine. "I'll be expecting admirable results from you, my son." The king says, a warning glance hidden in his eyes that doesn't go unnoticed by Sugawara. "You are dismissed."

With a curt bow, Sugawara stands and makes his way out of the throne room, a stoic expression on his face that remains until he passes the giant doors and comes across his attendant, Yamaguchi, who was waiting for him on the other side with nervous yet restrained eyes. 

"How was it, your highness?" Yamaguchi asks, trailing after him. "Did it go well?" The two stopped just as they round the corner, far from the prying eyes of the king's guards. It was never a good idea to show even the slightest bit of his true colors in front of the king's personal servants. It was too risky, something that the king could eventually use against him if ever the situation were to call for it. 

"As well as it'll ever be," Sugawara says, sighing. "Have you any idea where my brother is? I have something to say to him."

"His highness, the crown prince is currently in the third prince's palace," Yamaguchi says, a tense tone in his voice. Speaking about any other member of the royal family aside from his master Sugawara was still hard for him to do, no matter how much his master told him that his brothers were anything but intimidating. 

"Brother Asahi's palace?" Sugawara asks curiously, turning to his attendant. "Whatever for?" 

"It seems as though Prince Asahi has invited the crown prince for some afternoon tea, your highness." Much to Yamaguchi's surprise, Sugawara turns to him in faux offense, a playful look on his face. 

"And he dares not invite me? Outrageous!" He exclaimed, huffing as he turned to walk down the hall. "Make no haste, Yamaguchi. Let us head toward Brother Asahi's palace this instant!"

Azumane Asahi, the third prince of the Kingdom of Corvus, was much more gentle than his two older half-brothers. As the child of the second concubine, who was wed to bridge the gap between the nobles and the commoners, he was often looked down on by the aristocracy for his 'mixed' blood. Yet, that never bothered him as he had no interest in politics or noble affairs. 

All he wanted was to use his status and privilege to help the commoners of the kingdom in whatever way he can. So it wasn't rare to see Prince Asahi engaging in donations and collaborating with the church. But aside from being a literal saint, the third prince was surprisingly infamous for his ability to bake. 

Typically, nobles would be ridiculed for doing something a 'servant' would do, as they'd put it. But Prince Asahi was able to turn that noble weakness into an advantage, owning the most extensive bakery business in the country that rivaled no one. Of course, some thought he was doing it as a form of exerting his presence in the political world, but a closer look and they'd see that everything the third prince did was out of the goodness of his heart. 

Which was why Sugawara found it so comforting to visit him. 

Hanging out with his second brother was a different experience than hanging out with his first brother. There was no doubt that hanging out with Prince Daichi was fun. Sugawara immensely enjoyed sparring sessions and the occasional chatter with his elder half-brother. But hanging out with Asahi was a different breath of fresh air. It was much calmer, much more relaxing, much more soothing, and good for his well-being. 

After all, who wouldn't enjoy spending time drinking tea and eating sweets? 

Sugawara enters his brother's grounds, greeted by the servants who stare at him frantically, surprised at his sudden appearance. Nevertheless, Sugawara simply smiles at them, greeting the servants with a refined grace befitting of a prince. 

With Yamaguchi trailing behind him, he heads towards his brothers' gardens, knowing perfectly well that his two brothers were having tea in the pavilion that graced the garden's center. 

"Brother Asahi!" He calls as he approaches said pavilion, catching sight of his two brothers chatting amongst themselves with their knights and attendants on their side. His two brothers look up at him, both with differing expressions—Asahi with a surprised one and Daichi with a more amused one. 

"Oh, Brother!" Asahi exclaims, smiling brightly. "What brings you here at this hour?" 

Sugawara huffs, sending his brother a playful glare as he takes a seat in the last available chair in the pavilion. "To snack, of course! I can't believe you have the audacity to not invite me for some tea, dear brother. I am very offended." 

A sheepish smile forms on Asahi's face as he takes in Sugawara's playful antics. "I apologize, brother. I was supposed to invite you as well, but Brother Daichi informed me that you had prior engagements…."

At his brother's words, Sugawara turns to his elder brother, giving him a playful glare to which he simply smiles, sipping his tea as if he's done nothing wrong. Sugawara knew what that look on his face meant. His brother was playing with him,

"I never took you as a trickster, dear brother," Sugawara says, sighing. "What would the public do if they were to find out?"

"Why I'm not sure what you mean, brother," Daichi says, as composed as ever. "Since when have I been a trickster? I was merely informing brother Asahi here about your schedule, was I not?" He lets out a chuckle, setting down his cup of tea. "Was that a joke? If so, then I'm afraid you may need a few extra lessons in the art of comedy, dear brother, your skills are very much lacking…."

There's a small silence that settles between the three brothers, with Sugawara and Daich sending each other playful glares at their little exchange. Asahi sighs as if he were used to the situation at the sight of their exchange, setting his own cup of tea down before addressing his elder brothers. 

"Brothers, as much as I enjoy your playful banter, I would very much like to indulge in today's afternoon tea in peace if you don't mind." There's a sharpness in Asahi's voice, one that doesn't go unnoticed by Sugawara and Daichi, who immediately drop the act, giving each other a sheepish smile. As much as Prince Asahi was a gentle prince, he also had times where he was stern and downright terrifying. He was a member of the royal family, after all. 

"My apologies, brother Asahi," Sugawara says, sighing as a servant pours him his own cup of tea. "I'm afraid I was too caught up in the moment. You do know how much I enjoy your afternoon tea."

"Of course, brother," Asahi says, the sternness fading and his gentle smile slowly coming back. "I heard father summoned you. Whatever was it about?"

Sugawara sighs, suddenly brought back to the memory of what had occurred mere moments ago. It was a wonder how playfully arguing with his brothers had lifted the worries and burdens off of his shoulders. But now that he was reminded of the grave reality he was to face, he couldn't help but feel all of those responsibilities crash down on him once more, his eyebrows furrowing in response. 

"Father wishes to appoint me as the representative for the delegation that is to head towards the Kingdom of Angora," Sugawara says, groaning. "I'm sure you both are aware of what that implies."

"Heavens!" Asahi exclaims, eyes wide. "I heard the first son of Count Terushima will be a part of the delegation."

"You mean that vile Marquess Yuji?" Daichi scoffs, gaze hardening. "That atrocious man who tried to seduce Sister Kiyoko?"  

"I'm afraid so," Asahi says, a troubled expression on his face. "Will you be alright, brother? I'm certain that father will choose other nobles who are against the royal family…."

"If you wish, I can speak to father on your behalf," Daichi continues, looking at his younger brother with concern. "It's absurd that a member of the royal family has to lead a bunch of despicable aristocrats who dare defy royalty for the sake of protecting their power, on foreign grounds at that."

"I shall be fine, brother," Sugawara says, waving Daichi off. "Instead of sabotage, I'd rather look at this as an opportunity to prove myself to father. Although, I'm not sure if my sanity will last throughout the entirety of spring." 

"The entirety of spring?" Asahi asks, surprised. "You'll be gone for that long?"

"It's part of the agreement, brother," Daichi answers in Sugawara's stead, looking at his younger brother with pitiful eyes. "Each delegation will spend an entire spring in the other kingdom, strengthening ties and finding new ways to advance their respective countries."

"I'm aware of that, brother," Asahi says, looking distraught. "But still, one whole spring is too much…."

"Why?" Sugawara asks, perking up. "Will you miss me when I leave, brother?" Sugawara's question flusters Asahi, who immediately tries to brush it off, much to his and Daichi's amusement. Prince Asahi was always the more emotionally vulnerable out of the three brothers. Compared to the two, he didn't have as many expectations set upon him, so he was free to show as much emotions as he wanted to. A blessing and a curse at the same time. 

"Don't be sad, brother Asahi," Daichi says, trying to comfort him in the best way he can. "Look on the bright side; maybe our dear brother will finally find himself a wife during his stay in the Kingdom of Angora."

"Indeed, brother, maybe I wi— wait… I most certainly won't!"

It's quite a sight to behold, honestly. If this were in front of anyone else, Sugawara would not have shown the slightest reaction. However, in front of his brothers, Sugawara could be free to let his guard down. Just like he was at that moment, eyes wide in surprise, looking at his elder brother in shock, while Asahi lit up, glad at the sudden revelation. 

"Oh yes!" Asahi exclaims, grabbing Sugawara's hands into his and looking into his eyes intently. "Do use this chance to find yourself a lover, dear brother. You're getting older with each passing year, and yet you're still a bachelor!"

Speechless, Sugawara could do nothing but gape at his brother, who was looking at him expectantly, as if he had placed stars within his eyes. "Brother Asahi is right," Daichi says, smiling mischievously. "You are the only one of us without a lover, brother. Even Sister Kiyoko is to be married to Sir Ryuunosuke this summer, so what's stopping you from finding love?" 

"Royal Responsibility?" Sugawara says as if that were the most obvious thing in the entire world. "I am a prince, brother. I can't simply frolic around seducing ladies for my own benefit!" 

"Really, brother?" Daichi says, giving him a deadpan stare. "Royal responsibility? Are you not aware that you aren't the only prince in the vicinity?" 

"Of course I am!" Sugawara exclaims, slightly flustered. "But still, it is different! You learned to love your spouse after your marriage was arranged, brother. And Brother Asahi, you have all the freedom in the world to choose whom to love! I, on the other hand…."

Asahi and Daichi look at each other, exchanging concerned glances at their brother, who seemed quite perplexed by the situation. Daichi sighs, gathering his thoughts before looking at Sugawara head-on. 

"Brother, you are a prince, are you not?" 

"Yeah, but—"

"—Then take advantage of it. No matter what others may say, you are still a prince of this kingdom. Therefore, you of all people should have the authority to love whom you choose."

A sudden silence falls between the brothers, this one much heavier than the last, yet at the same time, it's liberating. Daichi's advice provides a clear path for Sugawara, even if it was just for a mere moment. 

"I hope you take this advice to heart, brother," Daichi continues after much silence. "It will truly do you good to find love in your life." 

Sugawara sighs, still unsure about the situation, yet he looks at his brothers with a slight smile on his face as an act of reassurance. 

"Thank you, brother," He says. "I will try to look for love, but I hold no promises that it will be found in the Kingdom of Angora." 

The three burst into laughter, the heaviness of the previous situation lifting from their minds. "Who knows, brother?" Asahi says, taking another sip of his tea. "After all, only the Ancient Ones know where our love can be found."

"Indeed," Sugawara agrees, looking up at the sky, eyes squinting from the brightness of the sun. "Who knows what will unfold?" 

“Your highness, we have arrived at the Kingdom of Angora.” 

Sugawara looks up from where he sat in his abnormally luxurious carriage, documents in hand as he takes a peek outside. It had been a few weeks since his afternoon tea session with his brothers, and since then, he had been relatively busy, juggling preparations for the delegation as well as taking care of his own duties as the second prince in the process. 

Not to mention having to deal with all the power-hungry nobles who visited him with regards to the delegation, trying to bribe their way into his favor. It was laughable, really. How could they be so obvious with their intentions? Had they no shame or pride as a noble? Whenever such greedy nobles called for his attention, Sugawara wanted nothing more than to throw them off a cliff and watch them drown. But alas, he couldn’t, lest he risk the reputation of the royal family. So he takes their silly requests with a fake smile, giving them a sense of false hope before cruelly dismissing them afterward. 

It was at times like these where he could understand why he was a prince in the first place. 

Preparing for the delegation was a painful process indeed, but surprisingly enough, the long journey to the kingdom had been relatively peaceful. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Sugawara rode on a separate carriage compared to the other nobles who were joining him on the delegation. Who knows what he would have done should he had been in the same carriage as Marquess Yuji? That obnoxious little playboy would rat his ear off about how he was a better-suited match for his little sister, and Sugawara swears he would go crazy if he spent more than an hour listening to his pathetic whines. 

Sugawara sighs, setting down the documents he held into the portable table in front of him as he takes in the view. Compared to his kingdom, the Kingdom of Angora was filled to the brim with one-of-a-kind industrial buildings. According to Yamaguchi, the outskirts of the capital were home to factories— large warehouses used to develop technological goods. A true sight to behold indeed. 

The delegation had just surpassed the border to the Kingdom of Angora mere moments ago and was now making their way towards the capital. The second prince had only been to the kingdom once before when he was a child, and back then, he was amazed at how stunning the country was with its high-class buildings that far surpassed his own kingdom’s

And this time was no different. 

The Kingdom of Angora was spectacular, more than words could say. It was different from what Sugawara remembered it to be. Although, he could chalk that up to the fact that he hadn’t stepped one foot in the kingdom since he was a child. But even then, Sugawara could tell that the Kingdom’s beauty was far beyond those in his memories. 

And perhaps that had to do with the fact that the Kingdom of Angora was a Kingdom that thrived in magic. 

It was one of the many reasons why they prospered more than any other kingdom on the continent. The Kingdom of Angora was surrounded by bountiful resources rich in mana, which was why their ability to infuse magic into every aspect of their life was unmatched. Even commoners were able to use magic, it seemed. Sugawara could sense mana flowing freely in the air, and as he breathed it in, he could feel the magic thrive throughout every crevice in his body, almost as if it were a dream. 

Back in the Kingdom of Corvus, magic was a luxury. Something that commoners could only ever dream of. Heck, even within the royal family, the practice of magic was few and far between. It took great talent and effort to be able to perform well in the area of magic, much more to master it. Sugawara himself knew how to wield a bit of wind magic, but it was nothing compared to what the mages of Angora could do. He was stuck with simple spells such as cooling the delegation when the rays of the sun threatened to burn them into ash or in simple tricks when his nieces and nephews would ask him for a show. 

But it never compared to the grandeur of using magic to fly and transport objects from one place to another. It never compared to making crops grow faster or healing severe injuries. The magic that the Kingdom of Angora possessed was indescribable, truly, a wonder to behold.

This is why it astonished him when he saw the spectacles of magic within the capital city. While he expected a great welcome for their delegation, as this was a rare occurrence, and their own kingdom had been preparing meticulously for the arrival of Angora’s delegation (courtesy of his sister Kiyoko), he wasn’t expecting it to be this grand of a scale. 

A crowd of commoners surrounded the streets, greeting them with cheers as they passed by. Enchanted flowers graced the pavements providing the atmosphere with a calm, radiant, and glorious presence. The welcoming crowd was indeed a sight to behold, more so when Sugawara took in the sight of the way magic weaved through their surroundings, lifting the carriage up in the air. 

He had been briefed of this experience nights before, and honestly, at first, he couldn’t quite wrap his head around how they were to do this. Levitation magic was considered pretty difficult back in their kingdom, something only the best of the best could do. In fact, only one person in the kingdom could do it, and that was Sir Tenma, who, even by the Kingdom of Angora’s standards, was considered a genius among geniuses. 

But to think that the Kingdom of Angora could do it so easily to the point that they could levitate an entire delegation was oddly terrifying yet amusing to him. Sugawara wasn’t going to lie; however, flying in the air, even by carriage, was exhilarating. Sugawara almost feels like a child with how fascinated he was at the sight. Perhaps this delegation wasn’t going as terrible as he thought. 

But alas, it was just that, a thought. 

“Welcome to the Kingdom of Angora!” A voice calls, booming as Sugawara makes his way out of the carriage, the rest of the nobles and servants following suit. A pathway was made for their entrance, with selected servants lined up on each side in preparation to welcome them, much like how the commoners were in the capital, but this time much more uptight and sophisticated. 

A man walks down the path, dressed in a regal red suit. His spiky black hair and obnoxious smile oddly reminded Sugawara of his elder brother back home. It was funny how he was already homesick when it hasn’t even been a full day since he stepped foot in the Kingdom of Angora. 

“I’m so glad you all arrived safely,” the man continues. “How was your trip? I hope nothing inconvenienced you on the journey here?” 

“Nothing of the sort,” Sugawara replies almost immediately, putting on what he dubs his ‘princely smile’ and shaking the strangers’ hand. “My name is Sugawara Koushi, the second prince of the Kingdom of Corvus. It is a pleasure to meet you….”

“...Kuroo Tetsuro, first prince of the Kingdom of Angora.” At this introduction, Sugawara’s eyes widened, not expecting to be greeted by such a prominent figure. “It is an honor to have an esteemed member of the Corvus Royal Family in our land.” 

“As it is an honor for the future king to welcome us,” Sugawara says, smiling. He turns to the two nobles behind him, sighing as he looks into their expectant eyes. “Here with me are Marquess Yuji and Duke Tooru, and as stated in the agreement between our kingdoms, we shall be staying for an entire spring to strengthen our relationship.”

“Indeed,” Prince Tetsuro says, greeting the nobles in the process. “Please do enter. You must be tired from the journey. The head butler will escort you to your rooms. We have prepared a welcoming banquet for you, but that will be much later.” 

Agreeing, Sugawara, along with the rest of the delegation, follows Kuroo into the castle walls. And just like how he felt mere moments ago gaping in awe at the spectacularity of the capital, he found himself mesmerized at the regal charm the castle exuded. Each crevice shined as if they were made of actual gold, artifacts, and furniture of intricate designs that he had never seen in his life littered the hallways, showcasing the majesty and splendor of the castle. Truly, it was worth the title it contained.

As the delegation separated with the head butler leading Sugawara to the third floor where his suite would be located, Sugawara found himself gaping in awe once more. However, he didn’t outwardly show it. That would be rather unbecoming of a prince, especially on his first day at a foreign kingdom.

Although nothing could beat the simplicity of his own room back in his own palace, the room the Kingdom of Angora had prepared for him was good enough for a king to reside in. It was spacious, with enough room to house a family of five, maybe even eight if Sugawara thought about it long enough. With exquisite furniture that felt soft to the touch and an atmosphere that made Sugawara feel content and relaxed. He could tell that the servants had put their all into preparing the room for him. 

“I do hope the room is to your liking, Your Highness,” the head butler explains as he takes in the way Sugawara observes his surroundings with a keen eye. “Although it does not compare to the luxury you have back in the Kingdom of Corvus, we prepared it bearing your comfort in mind, so please do tell us if anything is not to your liking. We will fix it right away.” 

“No need to worry,” Sugawara assures, giving the head butler a small smile. “The room is perfect. Excellent Work.” For a moment, the head butler is flabbergasted, eyes wide in a look of shock that has Sugawara raising his eyebrow in confusion. 

“Is something the matter?” He asks as the head butler tries to compose himself. 

“N-nothing of the sort, sire. It is an honor to receive praise from someone as esteemed and graceful as yourself.” The way the head butler’s eyes begin to dart around as if he was unsure of himself doesn’t go unnoticed by Sugawara, who can’t help but watch on, confused and amused at the same time. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must prepare for the welcoming banquet tonight. In the meantime, you are free to explore the castle grounds. But please refrain from going beyond this floor.”

“May I ask, why?” The head butler freezes as if he were hoping that Sugawara would let the subject go and not ask any more questions. But Sugawara had always been a curious fellow. Never one to stray away from something that had caught his eye. 

“It is the order of his majesty, the king,” is all the butler says as he turns away. “I hope you understand sire,” There was something about the way the head butler carried himself that seemed off to Sugawara, but he couldn’t figure out what exactly it was. So, with a defeated sigh, he dismisses the head butler leaving him alone with his attendant, Yamaguchi, who had stayed silent and observed the exchange from behind the second prince. 

“Will you go beyond this floor, your highness?” Yamaguchi asks once the two were safe, free from the ears of the head butler. Sugawara grins, turning to his attendant with a mischievous grin on his face. “Now, what makes you think that, Yamaguchi?”

“Sire,” Yamaguchi sighs, his confidence growing now that he was alone with his master. “I may have only worked with you as your attendant for a short while, but nevertheless, I’m still your attendant. I’m positive you’re itching to explore the forbidden areas in the palace.”

“How intriguing,” Sugawara muses, smiling to himself as he heads to the balcony of his room, gesturing to Yamaguchi to make him some tea. “You’re absolutely right!”

One of the many reasons why Sugawara had no drive to take over the throne of his own kingdom was that he was an inquisitive child by nature. Sugawara had always been ‘out of the box’ as his tutors once called him, never failing to give them a headache with the amount of ‘nonsensical’ questions he had. 

But more than that, his own curiosity had made him somewhat of an existential crisis to the servants of the royal palace. Sugawara was known as the prince who disappeared within the blink of an eye, always off on an unknown adventure.

 The first few times it happened, the palace was in a frenzy, afraid that he had been kidnapped, when in reality, Sugawara had been exploring an abandoned ballroom he had unexpectedly found buried deep within the castle. It was his mother who had found him that day, clutching him desperately and scolding him to never do that again. 

But Sugawara was not one to be held back, even by his own mother. Honestly, the only person he knew who could hold him back was his father. But he was out of reach for the whole spring, which meant Sugawara had complete and total freedom. 

All he had to do was play pretend. 

“Your highness,” Yamaguchi says, interrupting his train of thought as he strolls into the balcony with his favorite tea and some local snacks in hand. “I believe it isn’t a good idea to explore just yet, or whatever you plan on doing. You’ve just arrived in the Kingdom of Angora. His majesty will throw a fit if he hears that you’ve caused trouble when representing our kingdom.”

Sugawara chuckles, gratefully accepting the cup of tea Yamaguchi prepared and taking a sip. “Oh, Yamaguchi, what do you take me for? A fool?” His words cause Yamaguchi to stiffen as he stares at his master with uncertain eyes, not knowing what to say. At the sight of his uncertainty, Sugawara lets out another chuckle, smiling slightly. “Of course, I’m aware that I need to keep an image of— what did father call it again? Ah yes, perfection— around the Kingdom, and I do plan on maintaining it for the time being, but… there’s no harm in having a little bit of fun while I’m here, is there not?”

Yamaguchi sighs, retreating back to his original position as he looks at Sugawara with a deadpanned expression as if he were used to it. “I understand, your highness. My apologies for questioning your greatness.” Honestly, Yamaguchi still can’t understand Sugawara sometimes. He was indeed an odd character, acting differently depending on who he was talking to. But in a way, it was part of the prince’s charm, he figured. After all, it was that spontaneity that encouraged the second prince to take him in as an attendant in the first place, and he would forever be grateful for it. 

“If I may, your highness,” Yamaguchi speaks up, suddenly remembering an incident that had occurred a few weeks ago. Sugawara nods, encouraging Yamaguchi to continue. “Pardon me for asking, but do you not have plans to heed your brothers’ words?” 

At his question, Sugawara perks up, looking at Yamaguchi with a confused gaze. “My brother’s words?” He asks, setting his cup of tea down. “Whatever do you mean?” 

Yamaguchi fidgets in his place, unsure whether or not he should continue, but Sugawara encourages him with a gentle smile. “If my memory serves me correct, your highness, the first and third prince have advised you to find a lover, have they not?” 

It isn’t apparent, but Sugawara automatically stiffens at his adviser’s reminder, finding himself inwardly groaning. He had already forgotten about his brothers’ constant nagging for him to find a spouse and would have done well without it. But he knows that his brothers would be asking him about the matter the moment he got back from Angora. If there was one thing the three princes shared in common, it was the fact that they were persistent in things that mattered to them. A feat that currently annoyed Sugawara. 

“I’ll be honest with you, Yamaguchi. I have absolutely no plans of finding a lover throughout the whole duration of this trip.” From the corner of his eye, Sugawara sees the way Yamaguchi’s shoulders drop in disappointment, finding the sight quite amusing to see. “But if it would help appease my brothers’ insatiable need to insist on my marriage, then I suppose I—”

All of a sudden, much to Sugawara’s surprise, a gentle melody fills the air. It’s a simple melody, nothing too grand and noble; it was a melody that was soft and supple, pleasing to the ears and charming his every being. It was as if Sugawara were laying in a field of roses and dandelions and everything in between, taking in the warm rays of the sun and basking in the presence of the calm wind. 

It was like spring. 

“—Do you hear that?” Sugawara asks, eyes wide as he looks to his sides, trying to find the source of the extraordinary music he had just heard. It was like anything he had ever come across before in his life. Even the best musicians’ work couldn’t compare to the emotions that overcame him the moment the mysterious melody graced his ears. 

“Hear what, your highness?” Yamaguchi asks, confused at his master’s behavior. “That sound,” Sugawara says hastily as he stands from his seat and approaches the edge of the balcony, looking out into the palace gardens. “That music. Was it a piano? A violin? No. It was most certainly a piano, yet why did it sound so different?” 

“Your highness?” Yamaguchi calls out, approaching him cautiously. “Is everything alright?”

“Are you sure you didn’t hear it, Yamaguchi?” Sugawara asks, turning to his attendant with astonished eyes. “Are you sure you didn’t hear that majestic melody that was just playing mere moments ago?”

“I’m afraid not, your highness,” Yamaguchi answers, uncertain. He was sure that nothing had been playing the whole time. All he had been doing was waiting for his master to finish his sentence. It was strange that he had suddenly grown silent, almost as if he were bewitched by something. But oddly enough, Yamaguchi found nothing odd in the vicinity. 

“That’s odd,” Sugawara mutters to himself as he turns around, facing the palace gardens once more, wishing to hear that beloved tune one more time, “I’m pretty sure I heard something. What a shame, it was such a beautiful sound….”

Sugawara sighs before composing himself and turning to his attendant, who was still looking at him with uncertain eyes. “I apologize for that, Yamaguchi. That was unsightly of me. What was I saying?” 

Yamaguchi gulps, not sure what to make of his master’s sudden behavior. “We were discussing about a possible spouse, your highness?” 

“Ah yes,” Sugawara says, internally groaning. “Do arrange for me one meeting with any noble lady of your choosing. I trust your judgment.”

“Are you sure, your highness?” Yamaguchi asks, perplexed. “Wouldn’t it be better to handpick a date of your own choosing?” 

“Perhaps,” Sugawara says, settling into his seat. “But I don’t plan on engaging in romantic endeavors beyond this one date. For entrepreneurial endeavors, maybe. However, this is mainly to get my brothers off my back. You will assist me, won’t you?” 

“As you wish, your highness,” Yamaguchi says as if he had given up on trying to convince his master otherwise. “I shall begin the preparations right away.”

When Yamaguchi leaves, Sugawara finally feels as if he can take a breather. It wasn’t as if being around his attendant was suffocating. In fact, it was pretty enjoyable for Sugawara to be around Yamaguchi. He was fun to tease and play with, especially around the presence of his family. 

Rather what made Sugawara feel as if he were finally breaking free from the imaginary chains that bind him was the fact that he could finally process precisely what happened just mere moments ago. 

That tune. That delightful melody. That sweet sound. 

Just what was it? It lit a flame inside of Sugawara, a flame that he was entirely unfamiliar with. It was as if the sound was calling him, beckoning him to reach out and find it. It was magical and for all the right reasons. If Sugawara could, he would immediately set out to find the maker of this incredible tune, but alas, he had no leads. 

He had to test the waters, find the perfect spot for him to dive in, and search for invaluable treasure. He was in unknown territory, after all. Yet, even with the dangers it posed, Sugawara couldn’t help but get all giddy with excitement.

This was the adventure he had been searching for. Forget the fact that he was dreading the delegation due to being stuck with some irrational nobles vetting for the throne. Forget his brothers’ nagging about finding a spouse before he returned home. This was what Sugawara would do throughout his stay in the Kingdom of Angora. 

He would search every inch and crevice just to find that heavenly tune. 

The search for the mysterious tune was no easy feat, mind you. Sugawara had to endure long strides of putting on a fake facade of being the perfect prince to the Kingdom of Angora. Considering how he always had to have his guard up as compared to back at home, this trip was much more taxing, especially when it came to dealing with the Angorian Royal Family. 

Don’t get him wrong. Sugawara thinks that the royal family of Angora was charming in their own way. The king and queen were very generous in their welcoming, laughing wholeheartedly during the welcoming banquet. The many princes and princesses of the kingdom were the same, although some more reserved than others, and some with barely any reaction at all. Well, it was expected, of course. Not everyone had the same personality. 

Take the first and second princess, for example. The first princess was the queen’s daughter, with a very much aloof yet dignified personality that was pleasing to engage with. Princess Alisa was in every way a stunning princess (although not as attractive as his little sister Kiyoko, but perhaps Sugawara was biased) and held herself gracefully with an alluring charm floating around her.

On the other hand, the second princess, Princess Akane, daughter of the third queen, was anything but delicate. She was loud, rowdy, and was in no way the textbook definition of a princess. But she held herself with a certain confidence that made her stand firm. Perhaps it was due to her profound relationship with Prince Taketora, the third prince, that resulted to it. They were quite an exciting pair of siblings. 

Yet, despite how amusing Sugawara found the Angorian royal family’s dynamic to be, there was something off. There was something about them that made Sugawara keep his guard up. Maybe it was the uninteresting jokes they made or the way they unintentionally left them out of the conversation. Or perhaps it was the way they boasted about themselves as if they were the best kingdom in the whole continent. 

Really? In front of your allies? How despicable, Sugawara thought to himself. 

When he tried to bring up his curiosity over the music he had heard earlier that afternoon by inquiring about their musicians, they had answered, but not in the way Sugawara liked. The moment he brought it up, the king had gone on what felt like an endless rant about how their musicians were blessings from their god and how they had provided them the talent to be the most exquisite musicians in the whole continent. 

And maybe, Sugawara could admit that part of their boast could be true if the one behind that heavenly sound was one of the kingdom’s esteemed musicians. Then they would indeed have a basis for their claims. But at that moment, Sugawara could only despise their boasting. 

He wanted to know more than the fact that they were blessed because, of course, that was already a given. The fact that one could play an instrument was already a feat in and out of himself. What Sugawara longed to know was who was the one behind that marvelous tune and how exactly did they come up with it? What was the story behind their music? Because never in Sugawara’s life had music shaken up the way that melody had. It was truly remarkable. 

But sadly, Sugawara wasn’t able to get his answer that night. 

Or for the next few days, for that matter. 

Sugawara had expected this prior to the journey to Angora, but all these tedious tasks were hellishly dull. Ever since he was a child, Sugawara hated anything that had to do with nobility and aristocracy. It was all so pointless to him. Why did they have to be so secretive and fake all the time? Why couldn’t they be straightforward with their actions?

Nobles were nothing but sly, proud, and despicable, even with a few exceptions. And that truth remained no matter where Sugawara went. The past few days, he had been guided throughout the capital city, visiting all the noble shops and establishments and taking a closer look at how they did their businesses. 

And it was evident to Sugawara that most nobles were just in it for the money. Sure, they made good businessmen. They understood trends and what was needed within the market, but Sugawara couldn’t feel any passion in their work. Those who were passionate about what they were doing were always the most pleasing ones to converse with. It was always a joy to be around them as it made the stress of his work go away seeing the determined expressions they wore. 

But there was none of that he could see in the nobility. 

The only thing good about their greedy nature was that it provided Sugawara an opportunity to observe and integrate concepts that he found beneficial to his own country. He expected there to be tons of magic involved, but oddly enough, there was none. It was quite strange for a kingdom that prided itself on magic to not have as much of it in the business front. 

Although it made sense when he asked about it. Prince Morisuke, the second prince and the one in charge of the delegation, had informed him that magic was sacred and a bond between the citizens to their faith in the Kingdom of Angora. If they were to use it for unsightly purposes, then that magic would dwindle, and the kingdom would find themselves ruined. 

At the explanation, Sugawara decided not to push it further. Magic was something he was entirely unfamiliar with, even if he did know how to wield it. So it made sense to him that a kingdom with much more expertise in the subject would treat it as invaluable. Shame it wasn’t used as much as he thought it was. It would have done wonders. 

Aside from his curiosities about magic, Sugawara found the first two weeks of the entire delegation absolutely boring. Every day was a blur of waking up, having breakfast, visiting some sort of place with noble connection, coming back to the palace, writing reports, then sleeping. The only thing that differed was the occasional banter with Marques Yuji and Duke Tooru, who were hell-bent on having fun during the minimal free time they had. The audacity the two had, really. While he was here writing mundane reports for his father (more like his advisers) to mull over. 

That is until today. 

Today was probably the most exciting day of the delegation so far. Prince Morisuke had announced the night prior that they would be paying a visit to the royal orchestra to learn about the wonders of noble Angorian music. And to be honest, Sugawara was ecstatic. 

Because finally, he was taking the first step in achieving his goal. 

No matter how much he tried to, Sugawara couldn’t shake the thought of that melody out of his mind. It stuck to him like a parasite, reminding him day and night of how tantalizing it was. Almost as if the song itself were a seductress, lulling Sugawara into its’ arms. And he was willing to follow it. 

How desperately did Sugawara want to just drop his duties, leave, and search for the source of the sound? The more time passed, the more the thought of abandoning his father’s wishes seemed appealing, a feat that should usually have frightened the second prince by now. But that was beside the point. 

If he played his cards right, Sugawara could finally have the answer he was looking for. 

True to its reputation and prestige, the Angorian Royal Orchestra was a sight to behold. According to Prince Morisuke, they practiced in the central performing hall; A majestic concert hall that would make anyone’s jaw drop from its’ beauty and splendor. Decked in red and gold, with a dome that resembled the night sky, Sugawara could almost feel his eyes watering from the majesty of the hall’s design. 

If he ever had a chance to meet the architect, he would most definitely shower him in a million jewels and more if he so wished. 

But beyond that, the orchestra itself, composed of various musicians with talent that Sugawara could say, was out of this world. Even tuning their instruments sounded heavenly to the ears. But after hearing that delightful tune back on his first day, Sugawara couldn’t help but feel as if the music they were letting out could not compare, even though deep down he knew that they were the best of the best.

And that thought continued all throughout their remarkable performance. Don’t get him wrong, Sugawara enjoyed their performance. Their rendition of well-renowned pieces was incredible and showcased their technical skill and incomparable talent. Yet, something felt off. As if there was a missing piece in the puzzle, even though judging by the looks of the rest of his companions, their performance felt complete. 

Sugawara was sure that if he could just hear that melody one more time, he would know exactly what was missing with the performance. 

“How did you find the performance, gentlemen?” Prince Morisuke, with his light brown hair and courteous smile, asked. Before Sugawara could answer, choruses of praise from the other two nobles resonated around him, remarking how splendid the performance was. 

“And how about you, Prince Sugawara?” Prince Morisuke asks, turning to him. “How did you find the performance?”

“Splendid,” Sugawara says, a fake smile plastered on his face. “So splendid, in fact, that I would love to hear more.” Sometimes, Sugawara had to praise himself for how much of a quick thinker he was. It was obvious that his question caught Prince Morisuke off guard as he darted his eyes to meet the head conductor, who looked back with equally nervous ones. 

“I apologize, Prince Sugawara,” Prince Morisuke says, sighing in disappointment. “I’m afraid this is all our  orchestra has prepared for you today….”

“Oh,” Sugawara mutters, keeping up his facade. “That’s a shame. I was hoping such a great orchestra like yours could provide us with one more performance. Don’t you agree, Marquess Yuji, Duke Tooru?” The two nobles that accompanied him nodded enthusiastically, sharing their desire to hear the wonderful music the orchestra could offer. 

But Sugawara had other plans. 

“Even if it’s just the piano playing, we would be absolutely delighted, Prince Morisuke,” Sugawara says, a seemingly innocent expression flashing up to the exasperated prince. “However, if that too is impossible, then I suppose there’s no helping it….”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Prince Sugawara,” Prince Morisuke replies in a frenzy. “Of course, it is not a problem. I’m sure our pianists are capable of conjuring something satisfactory, am I right?” 

From the corner of his eye, Sugawara watches as the pianists panic, not knowing what to do. But a harsh glare from both the conductor and Prince Morisuke leads them to hesitantly agree, the head pianist offering to play a piece he had mastered since his childhood.

At his proposition, Sugawara could feel the excitement build up inside him, although he did well to keep it concealed. Could this pianist be the one responsible for the melody that had haunted his thoughts with each waking moment? He just had to know. Unknowingly he leaned just a bit closer, ears perked and ready to take in the music. 

But when it came, he was disappointed. 

No doubt, the music was beautiful. Sugawara could tell that the pianist put great care into each and every note they touched upon, a perfect tune flowing from his fingerprints. But it didn’t compare.

It didn’t compare to that mysterious sound he had heard. That sound that made his souls waver and his heart clench; that sound that made him yearn to hear more, to dwell in its’ masterpiece.

If not even the best pianist in the kingdom could create that sound, then Perhaps, like Yamaguchi said, it was a figment of his imagination. But could his imagination really produce such beauty? Sugawara didn’t know.

What he did know was that the moment he arrived back at his room, he slumped into the many lush seats, defeated. With the limited freedom, he had to explore, Sugawara was afraid that he would never find what he was looking for. Yamaguchi looks at him with a soft yet knowing smile, already pouring the tea he had prepared prior to his master’s arrival.

“Your highness?” Yamaguchi asked, breaking Sugawara away from his train of misery. The said prince says nothing but waves his hand, signaling his attendant to continue. “Perhaps a change of pace might relieve you of your worries? You do have the afternoon to yourself, so maybe you could use this time to explore the palace gardens?” 

At his words, Sugawara sits up, looking at Yamaguchi with a shocked face. “Just now…” he says as if a miracle were gracing his ears. “What did you just say?”

“I asked if you wanted to take a walk in the gardens, your highness,” Yamaguchi replies, confused at the sudden switch in the prince’s behavior. “You have the rest of the day off, after all….”

“Truly?!” Sugawara asks, standing up from his seat and clasping Yamaguchi by the shoulders, shaking him as if he couldn’t contain his excitement. If it weren’t for the fact that he had already set the kettle down on the table, Yamaguchi was sure that he would have let it go from his grasp, and who knows what horrors he might face once the head butler found out of his incompetence, especially as the attendant of a foreign prince.

“I have the day off today?” Sugawara continues, not caring about the near dilemma he had put his attendant through. “Do not dare lie to me, Yamaguchi, or I swear by The Ancient Ones I will—“

“—Heavens no, your highness!” Yamaguchi exclaims, begging Sugawara to stop. The prince, realizing his actions momentarily halts, staying silent to allow some space for his attendant to continue.

“According to His Highness, Prince Morisuke, the next event for the delegation will be a visit to the magic academy, which will take some time to prepare. Thus, they have allowed some liberty to the schedule….” 

It’s silent for a moment; Sugawara and Yamaguchi caught in a stare-off with Sugawara showcasing a blank look while Yamaguchi showcases an unsure one, unable to read the e thoughts swirling in his master’s mind.

“Well then,” Sugawara says, releasing his hold on the poor attendant’s shoulders. “Bless the Ancient Ones because Heaven knows how long I’ve been waiting for this day!” He exclaims, smiling brightly. “Make haste, Yamaguchi! We are to explore the palace this instant!”

Sugawara’s outburst should, by theory, surprise Yamaguchi. But throughout their stay in the Kingdom of Angora, the poor attendant has realized that this truly is how his master is. Very boisterous and spontaneous on his own terms. The second prince was indeed a curious man to get to know, and Yamaguchi can only be grateful that he got to serve him. 

The palace gardens were absolutely astounding.

Sure, Sugawara had seen the gardens from the balcony of his suite, but to see it in person, where each plant and flower was clearly displayed for his eyes to admire, was an entirely different experience.

The flora of the garden was gorgeous with its intricate details, delicate scents, and show-stopping beauty. Sugawara could only imagine how much time, effort, and care it took to maintain a garden as spectacular as this. Truly, the palace gardeners were competent and excelled at their job.

Sugawara admired the way the local flowers, trees, and herbs made him feel calm. Even though he wasn’t supposed to, Sugawara figured that in the presence of such luscious nature, he shouldn’t hold himself back from relaxing just a tad bit. His shoulders slacken, and he takes in a breath of fresh air, sighing happily at the feeling.

“I assume the garden is to your liking, your highness?” Yamaguchi asks from behind him, observing the way his master frolicked around like a little kid, even though from an outsider’s perspective, he looked as dignified and sophisticated as a prince should be.

“Yes,” Sugawara says, smiling happily. “Indeed it is. With perfect weather like this, it truly is a blessing that the royal family has given us the liberty to roam around and explore. May the Ancient Ones bless them.” 

If possible, Sugawara wanted to shower the Angorian Royal Family in many favors as a symbol of thanks for granting him the luxury of time. If he had to spend one more day galloping around nobles like a fool and writing boring reports to his father, then he was a hundred percent sure that he would have gone crazy. 

But luckily, the fresh scent of nature and the relaxing atmosphere took those burdens away from his mind, albeit temporarily. Sugawara feels like he’s at the comfort of his home, or better yet, the royal library back at his own kingdom, where he would relax by unwinding to his favorite book, while his attendant Yamaguchi searched desperately for him around the palace halls.

Ah yes, perhaps Sugawara was homesick.

Maybe that was why he had heard such a wonderful melody that day because he was missing home. Home is where the heart is, as they say. And the longing for home was especially strong on the first day. 

If that were so, then Sugawara wishes he could hear that melody again. Even if it was through a dream. That sweet, sweet melody that made Sugawara feel as if he were on top of the softest clouds, drifting through the air while the warm sun shines down on him; the scent of roses and daisies graving his senses. 

The sensation was so surreal that it was giving Sugawara chills just thinking about it. That gentle melody, precise yet hinged, confident yet soft, as if it were ringing in his ears and gracing his presence. That melody changed his perception of music after only one listen.

Oh, if only Sugawara had the chance to hear it once mo—

Wait.

Sugawara opens his eyes in shock as he finally takes in his surroundings and true to his instincts. He didn’t imagine the sound at all. Of course not, he chided himself; it sounded too realistic to be a memory born from imagination. No, instead, those clear notes that soothed his heart and would were caressing his ears at the very moment, lulling him in like it had done days before.

And this time, Sugawara was determined to find the source of it.

“Your highness?!” Yamaguchi asked, surprised to see the second prince suddenly sprint, running away from him. “Where are you going?” 

Sugawara doesn’t answer, too focused on figuring out where the sound was coming from, he turns right, heading deeper into the gardens while his attendant calls after him, trying to chase him down and ask him what the problem was, but it was no use. Sugawara was much faster than Yamaguchi. He was a prince, after all. 

Soon enough, after what felt like an eternity of running, Sugawara finds himself face to face with a cobblestone wall, a heavy door staring right back at him. That’s strange, he thinks to himself. I didn’t see this door from up on my balcony. Has it always been there?

Probably, Sugawara figures, shrugging as he takes the first step and opens the door, pleasantly surprised to see a forest on the other side.  But honestly, he shouldn’t have been. This wasn’t his castle, after all, and he had so much more to explore.

For the first time in a long time, Sugawara felt like a child again. He remembers the days when he would run around the hidden rooms of the castle and look for secret exits or lost doors. He was somewhat of a troublemaker, no matter how refined royalty made him. It was one of the only ways to truly make the most of his childhood, after all. 

Following the sound that only seemed to grow stronger the moment he took the first step out into the forest, Sugawara travels through the unknown, going through bushes and trees, desperate to hear more of that alluring tune, until he finally reached a clearing and is floored by what he sees.

There, in the middle of the forest, next to a great big tree, was a girl, a commoner by the looks of it, with ragged clothes and messy yet somehow styled hair, playing away on a beaten-up piano.

Even from afar, Sugawara could see that the piano should have been out of commission. Plants were already growing out of it as if it were eating the piano whole, and if he looked hard enough, he could see a few missing keys. But that was the least of Sugawara’s worries.

Because right now, he was entranced by how enchanting the entire scene was. The melody he had been thinking about for what felt like time eternal was brought to life before his eyes. It wasn’t as sophisticated as the Angorian royal orchestra’s performance. No, everything about the performance in front of him was rustic, simple, and carefree but somehow all the more powerful, and he couldn’t turn away.

It was as if the girl had lost herself in the music, letting her hands flow freely as they played that wonderful melody that haunted his mind and soothed his heart. This was probably a sight the most outstanding artists would kill to see. A view so beautiful, paired with a sound so mesmerizing that Sugawara can almost feel the tears slipping from his eyes.

He wants to hear more; he wants to experience more. He wants to get to know the girl and how she was able to come up with such incredible music.

But before he knows it, the music comes to a halt. The silence of the forest rushes in like a thundering wave, overcoming Sugawara with the realization that the girl he had been admiring was staring at him, terrified.

“W-who?” She stutters, eyes wide in shock. “Who are you?”

© yumeyooa 2021. All rights reserved. Copying, reposting, translating, and modifying in any platform aside from a03 and tumblr or by any means is NOT permitted and will be dealt with accordingly.

➢ taglist: @mirakeul​ 

[swtorpadawan]

The Only Ones Who Can

Author’s Notes: With thanks to the lovely and amazing @chaosandwonder​ , for sending me the prompt “fifty reasons to touch someone” 30. ... as comfort  (Sorry this took so long! I can’t draw like you, but I can offer you this for your kindness. Sorry that I’m a slow writer!) She’s graciously granted me permission to use her OC in this piece. This story take place during the Battle of Corellia during the Class stories.

Corellan Halcyon splashed cold water on his face from the basin of the refresher, allowing the cool sensation to refresh him.

He had seen combat on dozens of worlds, but never on this scale before. Tens of thousands of Republic and Imperial soldiers were fighting all over Coronet City, most often in brutal block-by-block fighting. He couldn’t begin to calculate the total casualties of it all, much less the long-term impact of leaving so many citizens homeless. He’d once heard from Rusk – who’d been fighting wars since before Corellan was born – that urban fighting was the bloodiest imaginable and he now saw the truth of it. Choosing to fight such a battle in a city was madness, and yet he was being forced to do exactly that.

Corellan knew all this bloodshed was only furthering the Emperor’s plans. Whatever massive loss of life was required for his ritual the Battle of Corellia was certainly feeding into that. Somewhere out there, Tol Braga was orchestrating all of this under the Emperor’s control. Corellan was determined to prevent the Emperor’s dark work from coming to pass. The schemes he’d already stopped on Belsavis and Voss had, at their core, been precision attacks hidden amidst the backdrop of larger military operations, designed with the intent of triggering a chain reaction of apocalyptic events. A metaphorical hypodermic needle of poison to the heart.  

By comparison, Corellia, with its brutal all-out warfare, was been like a mallet to the head.

Corellan’s forces, both his own crew and those Jedi who Master Satele had placed under his command, had served magnificently thus far, prevailing against vast numbers of Imperials and Sith. Most of the Jedi reinforcements he’d been sent had been inexperienced when they’d arrived on Corellia, ‘raw recruits’ as Rusk had called them. Now, however, they were fighting like hardened combat veterans. They had already helped liberate most of planet’s famed industrial base, turning that military production in the Republic’s favor. Now they were gradually closing in on the government district.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly, Corellan and his people were winning. The Republic was pushing the Empire back.    

Now standing in the refresher of a makeshift Republic command center in Axial Park, he had just a few minutes to collect himself before the next mission. He’d sent Lord Scourge – who had little interest in saving lives on Corellia except as a necessity to foil the Emperor’s plans – to conduct reconnaissance and attacks of opportunity behind enemy lines. (He was remarkably proficient at it, and no Imperial soldier or officer was likely to challenge the Sith Lord’s presence. Even if rumors of a Sith Lord going rogue did emerge, it would only sow dissent among the Empire’s forces.) Doc was treating wounded soldiers and civilians in a nearby med-center. Teeseven was helping to get the Republic’s local communications systems online so they could coordinate larger operations from here. Kira – at Corellan’s insistence and over her very verbal protests – was recuperating back on their ship, having not slept in two days of fighting. He knew he would need her fresh and ready when the final confrontation came.

So it was that Sergeant Rusk would be joining him for his push against the Emperor’s Imperial Guard at Axial Park. It was a task the Chagrian was well suited for, given his long history of combat.

As he dried his face with a disposable towel, Corellan looked up at himself in the mirror. He found he barely recognized the Jedi looking back at him. He was freshly shaved, but his eyes looked sunken, his face thin. This was what war did to people.

Tython feels like a lifetime ago. He thought to himself.

But he had learned by now that putting on a brave face for those under his command was part of whatever it was that he contributed to the Jedi Order and to the Galactic Republic. So he rolled his shoulders, straightened his armor and robes, ran a comb from a Republic field kit through his hair, and prepared to return to the action.

His crew needed him. The Jedi task force needed him. Corellia – the planet from which his parents apparently came from – needed him. The galaxy itself needed him. (Or so Master Satele had said. Corellan had his doubts, but this was unquestionably his mission.) He took reassurance in the fact that he was needed. That Corellan Halcyon had a place in the galaxy where he belonged.

Corellan couldn’t explain it; he wouldn’t have even admitted it out loud to anyone besides Kira, but somehow, he knew they were going to succeed. It felt arrogant to even think such a thing, given the immense loss of life and after everything that had happened up until now. But for the first time since escaping the Emperor’s Fortress, the Jedi Knight was starting to envision a final victory.  

He was clinging to that confidence right now. At this moment, after days of almost constant fighting and weeks of missions all over the galaxy, that belief was keeping him on his feet.

I can do this. Corellan told himself.

Now refreshed if not rested, he stepped out of the refresher, prepared to head back to the gathering site to meet Rusk and the Jedi strike teams. They would need to be given their assignments. They would need to hear a few words from their (somewhat reluctant) field commander. They would need to be led.

It was then that he felt a nearby tremor nearby through the Force, his consciousness reached out on reflex as he felt a knot of pain and fatigue, coming from the passageway behind the refreshers. Corellan ducked his head around the corner to see if he could find the source of the disturbance.  

Seated in a fetal position on a pair of crash seats was a human female with arms wrapped around her legs and her head – crowned by her intricately braided long dark brown hair – buried in her knees. Clearly, she appeared deeply troubled. Corellan was surprised to see that she wore the long robes of a Jedi master as his brow furrowed in concern.

“Forgive me.” He kept his voice low, but clear as he intruded on her privacy. “Can I assist you, Master?”

Startled, the Jedi looked up at him. He noted she seemed young to hold the rank of master, appearing to be no more than a year or two older than he was, if that. Her eyes – a lovely shade of amber – were bloodshot with exhaustion while her bronze skin looked almost ashen. He saw no tears in her eyes, but she’d clearly been holding in a wellspring of emotion. As her eyes focused on him, she blinked in recognition.

“I know you.” She brushed a stray hair from her eyes. “You’re the Hero of Tython, aren’t you? Master Satele put you in charge of Order’s main task force on Corellia.”

He waved a dismissive hand at her use of that honorarium. Other Jedi might call him that; he was simply who he was.

“Just call me Corellan.” He cautiously leaned closer. “Can I… forgive me Master, but you look like you’re in distress?”

Suddenly self-conscious, the Jedi Master remembered herself. She lowered her feet to the floor and stood up, straightening her robes.  

“I’m Master Hiraya Manawari.” She gave him a weak smile. “You can call me Hiraya.”

Corellan’s eyebrows raised in recognition.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Hiraya.” He bowed, his arm crossing across his chest. “I’ve heard of your exploits. You’ve achieved some remarkable things for the order and the Republic. I’m glad to finally meet you.” He paused, recalling the details he’d heard of her current assignment. “I was told you were also leading a mixed task force. An alliance you formed coming from several worlds.”

“I was.” She stammered. “I mean… I am. But I’ve just received some troubling news.” Hiraya sighed. “I don’t know if I’m fit to be commanding anyone, right now.”

By his own reckoning, Corellan had very little experience counseling others, particularly not those in a position of leadership in his own Order. He briefly considered sending for some other Jedi more suitable to this task.

There’s no one left to call on. He quickly realized. Bela Kiwiiks was busy on the other side of the city helping the displaced refugees. Jun Seros and Corin Tok had both been killed in the fighting days ago, before Corellan had even arrived. The masters of the Green Jedi were either dead or otherwise occupied, desperately trying to save their schismatic order. The other Jedi he’d encountered seemed to be even less experienced than Corellan himself.    

He wasn’t conceited enough to believe that the Force had drawn him to her. But he seemed to be the only one here, now.

I must try. He swallowed.

“Will you tell me what’s happened?”

Hiraya chewed her lip in consideration, before evidently deciding to confide in him.

“My mentor in the Order… has fallen to the dark side.” She finally answered, letting out an exhale that conveyed a wave of bottled-up emotions. “He’s commanding a contingent of Sith forces here on Corellia.”

Corellan absorbed that, finding himself unsuprised. Jedi falling to the dark side was certainly nothing new to him, but privately he’d hoped he would have been informed by the Council about this development given his overall mission on Corellia.

If I’m forced to divert my attention towards another target, it could take days…

He stopped, embarrassed at himself. He’d processed her words as a military commander and strategist, not as an active listener. Not as someone trying to help her.

I’m already failing at this.

She continued, apparently unaware of his discourtesy.

“The council has ordered me to… to neutralize him.” Hiraya emphasized the word, as she sniffed, clearly aware of the implications of such a command. She cast her eyes downward. “I don’t know if I can bring myself to stand against him.”

He understood that he needed to say something now, even if he wasn’t very good at this.

“Tell me about your mentor?” he inquired.

“Well, his name is Master…” she started to answer.

But Corellan had immediately realized he’d erred again, asking the wrong question. He was thinking like someone trying to solve her problem for her, not helping her to work through it. The name and deeds of Hiraya’s mentor weren’t the important part of this conversation, as they weren’t the root cause of her turmoil.

“Forgive me.” He interrupted, raising a forestalling hand. “I meant to ask who your mentor was to you?”

Hiraya seemed taken aback for a second, but quickly recovered. Corellan could almost feel her powerful intellect turn inward on her own thoughts and feelings.

It’s good to talk about our problems with someone. Master Orgus had said to him once. Only now was he finally applying that lesson.

“Well, to me, he was like the village elders in my tribe.” she began. He could see Hiraya’s features start to soften at the wistful memory. “He welcomed me to Tython and was both like a father and mentor. Despite the fact I joined the Order later than most padawans, he made sure I didn't feel differently. It was through his guidance that I overcame my struggles and to become a rightful Jedi."

As she finished, Hiraya let out a long breath, and he could feel her relief at just sharing her troubles with someone. Corellan simply listened quietly, letting her get it out of her system. He couldn’t help but think of his own mentors, the Jedi Masters who had taught him. Nowan Ko, who had taught him to respect all life. Sagottoh, who had put a training sabre in his hand and reminded him that it did not give life; it brought death, and so it should only be used responsibly in the service of life. Orgus, who had completed his training, recognizing that while he could guide Corellan, but that his choices would be his own.

Where would I be now if not for them?

“He sounds wonderful.” He offered, in reflection.  

Hiraya rewarded him with a flash of a bright smile as her eye glazed over at the wistful memory.

“He is. He really is.” she sighed. Her expression soon fell again. “But now it’s as if he’s died, and rather than becoming one with the Force as he should have, he’s left this dark and twisted shell of himself behind. And I need to stop him. Here, on Corellia. If I can’t find some way to redeem him, to save the person who he was, then I have to kill him.”

She looked away sadly.

“I don’t know if I can bring myself to do that.”

Corellan felt an upswell of sympathy at her plight. He couldn’t imagine being asked to face Orgus Din under such circumstances. Or – Force help him – Sagottoh Panaka or Nowan Ko.    

“That’s a terrible burden to carry.” He offered, feeling helpless as he chewed his lip. “I know there’s nothing that I can say that will make this any better. But for whatever its worth, they wouldn’t have entrusted this task to you if you couldn’t handle the responsibility. That you are the best Jedi for this mission.”  

Hiraya nodded silently in thanks. He hoped she didn’t mind hearing something she probably already knew.

“Do you think I can save him?” she whispered. “Bring him back to the light?”

Corellan chewed on that and perhaps inevitably considered his own predicament with Tol Braga. He’d not known the Jedi Master for long, but in just a few months he’d come to see the Kel Dor as another valued mentor, and one of the most dedicated Jedi Masters he’d ever met. But Corellan knew what the Emperor had twisted him into. And now, Braga was attempting to bring about the annihilation of Corellia, granting the Emperor enough power for his ritual to end the Galaxy. It was as evil and destructive a goal as Corellan could imagine.    

Tol Braga had to be stopped. No matter what the cost.

So, he now suspected, did Hiraya’s fallen mentor.

“I don’t know.” Corellan finally found his resolve. “But it’s good to have hope. Nothing else is possible without it.”

He pressed on, even knowing what a toll this campaign had been for her and what lay ahead.

“And… I think that when the time comes, you’ll do everything that could be done. That whatever happens, you’ll do the best you can and that’s the most anyone could ask for. You’ve accomplished great things for the galaxy, and you know your former mentor better than anyone else they could have sent. If you can’t help him, then no one else could have.”

“You have more worth and value to the order and the galaxy besides being a fighter or a military commander. You’re a diplomat, a healer, a scholar and already a teacher to others. Jedi like you are the future of our order.”

He gave Hiraya the most reassuring look he could muster.

“Your mentor clearly saw that in you, and whatever has happened since then, they’ve obviously helped cultivate those qualities. And that person will always be a part of you. Your actions and your choices are your own, but the person your mentor was lives on in everything you do. Whatever the future holds, you are his legacy. Your deeds and achievements honor him.”

Hiraya closed her eyes.

“I understand.” Her voice was fatigued, but a grim acceptance had taken hold.

“Good.” Corellan scratched the back of his head sheepishly. He felt acutely out of his depth, advising a Jedi Master on a personal crisis. “Well, that’s the most philosophical I’ve gotten for a while.”

“Wait.” Her eyes opened with a flash, full of concern. “What about you?”

“What about me?” he raised an eyebrow, not understanding the question.

“You’ve become the order’s champion. Our hero. But don’t you have value beyond being a warrior or a soldier?” Hiraya asked.

“Oh.” he was taken aback by that. His own future wasn’t a subject he normally considered.

It was Corellan’s turn to look down at the duracrete floor of the base. He considered the strange twists and turns his life had taken, from his time growing up as a youngling on Uphrades all the way up to the present. He thought of the things he’d seen, the places he’d travelled to and the people he’d met. He thought of Sagottoh and Nowan, and the various masters and mentors who had followed them. He thought of Orgus Din and his life-changing experiences on Tython. He thought of his crew and all their missions together leading up to now.

A strange life for a Jedi. He observed. Not at all what he’d expected.

“I think I was always meant to serve the order in a… martial capacity, I suppose.” He finally said. “If we weren’t at war, I’d probably be serving in some minor role, standing guard at the Temple of Tython, perhaps.” He recalled something Master Sagottoh had told him once. “Jedi weren’t intended to be soldiers or warriors. We were meant to be peacekeepers, counselors, and scholars and diplomats like you, for example.”

Just while speaking, he’d found his answer to her question, and how he saw himself within the Jedi.

“I fight for a galaxy where I’m redundant.” Corellan expanded. “Where Jedi like you are the norm, and ones like me are the exception. I expect if we ever defeated the Sith for good… when we defeat the Sith for good… I’ll just quietly withdraw from the wider galaxy and retire from the order. It would probably be better for everyone.”

He chuckled. The war had marked him, and it would continue to do so. He didn’t know what he’d be by the time it was over.

“Weapons should not be left out unattended.”  

Hiraya reached out, placing her hand on his. He was surprised by the simple gesture, drawing comfort from it.

“You have more to offer the Jedi and the galaxy than your prowess with a lightsaber, Corellan Halcyon.” She smiled warmly. “You are more than a weapon. Far more.”

Corellan found himself grinning boyishly, touched at the kindness in her words. He found himself feeling like a padawan again. He wasn’t sure her words, but he did appreciate that someone would say that of him.

“Thank you, Hiraya. That’s… very kind of you to say.”

She nodded in acknowledgement and sighed.

“Why did it have to be us?”

Corellan could tell that the question was intended to be rhetorical, but still felt it deserved an answer regardless. Indeed, he’d been asking himself that same question not long ago. The conclusion he’d come to was not easy to hear, but she deserved the truth.

He reached back and touched her hand as she had his, gently but firmly.

“Maybe because we’re the only ones who can.”

Hiraya’s eyes widened in surprise, and she looked past him for a moment. There was regret in her eyes, but he could feel her steely resolve as well.

“Perhaps we are.” She finally replied. Though her words were passive, he could feel the strength and resolve behind them. This was the Jedi Master who had saved so many lives and forged an alliance of disparate factions. Thus was the Jedi Master who had accomplished so much and who represented what the Jedi should strive to be.

As the two started to turn for the exit, he stopped her.  

“Hey - when this is over? When you finally get a chance to catch your breath?” he gave her a hopeful look. “Take some time for yourself. Do whatever it is that brings you peace. You deserve it.”  

Hiraya blinked as her cheeks blushed prettily, the corners of her lips turning upward into an unexpected grin as she looked past him again. Corellan couldn’t say what thought had drawn that reaction from her, but he suspected that his words had led the Jedi Master to consider something very specific. He found his own thoughts turning to Kira and everything she meant to him. He drew comfort in the sensation, and strength for the battle to come.

“Thank you.” She finally said. “For that and everything. I hope in time you can follow the same advice.”

Corellan didn’t miss her meaning, simply nodding firmly in thanks. He hoped the same, though he did not trust himself to say as much.

“Don’t mention it.” Now girded, the soldier – the Jedi hero and the reluctant military commander – mentally snapped back into place. Rusk would no doubt approve. So would have Orgus Din.  

“You ready?”

“I am.” She answered, her lips turning upwards until her expression matched his.

And with that, the two Jedi departed the base. Corellia – and their destinies – awaited them.

Author’s Notes: A little cliched, I know. But I wanted to write something soft.

@chaosandwonder​ is an amazing person, by the way. I am so grateful that she is part of this community. In Corellan’s story, Ulannium Kaarz is the Barsen'thor of the Jedi Order, and his tale follows that of the Jedi Counselor. Hence, I intentionally leave Syo Bakarn’s name out of it, so as not to compromise @chaosandwonder​ ‘s own story. Nevertheless, Hiraya seems a delightful character.

(In case it wasn’t obvious, when Hiraya grins near the end she is supposed to be thinking about Felix.)

Corellan’s point of view of himself and the galaxy would change by the end of Knights of the Eternal Throne. But I wanted to discuss his perspectives at this particular point. He is humble, but more than that, he doesn’t consider himself exceptional, except as a warrior.

The Jedi Knight on Corellia storyline can be a little frustrating. Satele claims to be putting you in charge of all Jedi forces on-planet, but this is clearly an exaggeration, as you find Jedi all over the planet who aren’t under your command, not counting the ones from the Consular story. So I’m simply calling Corellan’s group the ‘main Jedi taskforce’ here.

Quick notes

- I’ve always liked the character of Rusk, underdeveloped though he is. I’d like to explore Corellan’s relationship with him further in the future.

- Corellan doesn’t know Jun Seros was a corrupt fanatic at this point. More on that later.

- I have more planned involving Sagottoh and Nowan.

Thank you for reading.

(Tagging people who expressed interest - @lordviridis , @a-muirehen , @darthsinister66 , @tishinada , @walk-ng-d-saster , @agricorpsaurek , @chaoticspacelesbians , @reena-kk , @the-raven-of-highever and @swtor-writers-guild​ )

[dearest-kibble]

If ur doing korra requests too, how about Amon hcs?

Yknow now that you’ve put that thought in my mind, I uhhh love it. (Also I love Amon’s voice like Amon and Zuko/General Iroh have,,, the best voices. also take a wild guess at who doesn’t have any gifs?)

So let’s say you were an equalist.

A really devout equalist. You were born a nonbender and were more than tired of being pushed around by the triple threats. Injustice had already plagued your world and though you weren’t around for the hundred year war, you’d heard your fair share of stories from your grandmother and father. And the things you’d seen.

Metalbenders making their own money while you had to get by with whatever you earned that day.

Waterbenders who were fabled you bend people to their will.

And there was nothing you could do about that. You were one person, trying to tell others of the injustice you had seen.

So when Amon rose to guide those who have been oppressed? To knock the benders down a peg? Oh you were all for it.

You attend the first rally, then the next and the next. Revelation after revelation. Watching as Amon — the man who’d been scarred by a fire bender who’d been so wronged in the past — make everyone equal. Benders should not have more privileges than the average citizen and if the equalization or numbers was needed to illustrate that?

Well you were all for it.

Amon had even been spirit touched so your siblings-in-equality said.

“Just like Avatar Aang,” excites whispers proclaimed as you watch in satisfaction.

Of course he deserved to be equated to Aang, he was truly trying to make peace and bring balance to a still unbalanced and unjust world.

He rarely speaks with others to hear out stories.

But so your Brothers, Sisters and siblings day, he’ll speak to his followers.

It’s here where you meet him.

In the boiler room of an abandoned Sato factory.

“Thank you, you’re doing something truly amazing for this city. I’d been trying for at least,” You pause to think and stare into his mask. He has deep, blue eyes. “A year before you started to make a difference. This cause, it means a lot to me. If I can do anything to help-”

“Tell me, what have the benders done?”

His voice which you’ve heard carried by a microphone, was much quieter up close. Calculated, volume measured carefully. Words chosen with tact to glide over a silver tongue and rich voice, iced with precision. Iron gravels somewhere in his throat.

It sounds unnatural.

He truly was sent by the spirits.

“They’ve counterfeited money, firebenders - do I even have to explain? Waterbenders, bloodbenders! Yakone terrorized people! The sheer amount of power plant jobs that are given to firebenders! Earthbenders who don’t need to keep a job! And no one will say no to a waterbender after Yakone!! None of it is okay in this world, but you, you strive to make things right in the world again.”

“Join my team. Your experience will prove quite useful to our efforts.” Icy eyes bore into your own. “You are quite useful.” You dip your head in respect.

“I aspire to be of use to this cause. I will devote myself fully to helping you.”

“It will be quite beneficial, I assure you.” If you could see his face (can he even smile?) you were sure he was smirking under the mask.

“Of course Amon, I hope it will be!”

“We have much to discuss. Please, follow me.” He walks to his microphone, places his hands behind his back and speaks with authority. “Brothers and Sisters, soon we will have yet another revelation. One that will make the benders tremble. Soon, we will have true equality, just as Aang intended!” Amon steps back slowly and stands proud as the equalists cheer and roar in approval. He waits for two chi-blockers to flank his sides before beckoning you over with a flick of his wrist.

“Tonight we discuss our ideas for our campaign. Follow me.”

He leads you through a heavily guarded back door.

You suppose being hunted by the (all bender) police would give reason to having so many guards stationed. You walk through doors that part at Amon’s appearance and are greeted with the sight of motorcycles and one truck.

“After you.” He gestures to an open truck and you walk towards it with no question. The interior is bare save for two uncomfortable benches and it occurs to you, this is probably a stolen vehicle.

“So, where are we going? You have got to have a hideout or something, right?” You have no problem stealing from those who steal from you on a daily basis.

“You will see. It’s a quick drive.” There it is again. The hint of a smirk in his voice.

The ride passes in a silence. What do you say to the leader of a revolution?

“Sir, we’re here.” A man in a mask opens the front door. “We will leave you now. Our eyes are still watching your position.” The man nods as he gives a small salute in the form of a bow.

“Very well. Dismissed.”

“Thank you brother!” You give the man a bow back as he leaves the doors open.

“Make sure to return the vehicle to its rightful place.” Amon’s voice calls to the driver as you jump out of the truck.

You expect to find yourself in a dark cave or forest. Not a dark, secluded part of town.

“It makes sense that you’d be here.” It’s a little less climactic than you thought. But hiding in plain sight always did help far more than going out of your way.

“Come inside, we have much to discuss.” Somehow without your noticing, his good is down, his mask away from his face, though he was apparently prepared with a scarf.

“I suppose with your burn, a facial scar would be far too easily recognizable. They’d figure out it was you right away.”

He just nods as he fiddled with a set of keys.

He’s just like everyone else. He just happens to be leading a revolution.

You hear a click, and the door opens to a very bare, sterile room. Masks line the walls, along with various plans and writing utensils.

He waves his hand in a motion for you to enter. Stepping through the door it becomes about five degrees cooler, at least. The scarf might not just be to cover his face.

“Sit.”

“Thank you,” you look around for a place to sit. There is only one chair and you look at it for a minute before realizing Amon’s deep icebergs of eyes are looking into your back. You walk to the chair and sit. It’s uncomfortable being the only one sitting and Amon towers over you.

“I guess I shouldn’t tell other Equalists where you live, I’m sure you’d have fanatics at your doorstep,” You attempt to crack a smile and realize that, yes, He can smile despite the burn that covers his face in a diagonal stripe.

“Hey! Even the spirit touched Amon can smile!”

“Yes, he can.” He allows himself a modicum of uncalculated speech. And it’s quite drastic how much a difference it can make. He quickly shifts back to the leader of a revolution and asks you how you’ve been wronged. You two talk for the better part of two hours. The equalists are going to take away all bending they can, only a select few are allowed to keep it if any. Amon is going to highlight you as a source of what imbalance there is between benders and those who are born without the gift.

“So we are going to get my story out?”

“Yes, I believe it has great value to our cause.” Burned lips curve into a larger smile.

“I never thought I’d see this day,” You are aware of the tear that’s in your eye, but this was something you’ve long since dreamed of happening.

You deserve a good few tears.

“I hope that my story can help bring to light the reality of Republic Cities treatment of nonbenders.”

“It will. You will help me to eradicate Republic City of benders.” His voice is water smoothing rocks.

“Is there anything else I can do for the cause?”

“Indulge me in a story,” Amon turns away from where you sit, still inches taller than you as he walks towards a window you didn’t know was there. It’s been covered by a curtain.

“My brother and I grew up years ago, before the Fire Nation wiped our family out.” He takes in a breath. “We has been playing out in the rain, a good omen for a good harvest, when we smelled smoke. My younger brother started to run. I begged him not to go,” You hear another labored breath make it through his nose. “Smoke in the rain only meant one thing.” You both knew what that thing was. “Once I realized that he wasn’t going to come back, I followed him back to our house, tripping in the mud as I ran, desprate to catch up.” You’re aware you’ve shed more than a few tears. “I was too late. My family was gone, Mother and Father died at dinner and My brother had been crushed by a beam on fire. I tried to lift it but it was too much. I couldn’t and it fell on my hands. I leaned down to talk to my brother, but he was already dead. I screamed at the flames, unable to come to terms. I went numb and my face, came away like this.”

Amon turns around for emphasis, sliding the curtain on his window aside.

It’s a full moon.

“I-I’m so sorry,” You wipe a tear only to realize it wasn’t there, it must’ve fallen. “I can’t possibly imagine what that must be like to lose a family. Benders should Pag for what they’ve done. To you, to your family, to anyone.”

“Was it an effective story?”

“W-what?” His blue eyes, cold like the night sky behind him do not blink.

The blood vessels seem angry.

“I take it from your tears that my story was an effective one?”

An orb of water, hovers above his right hand.

Veins bulge from beneath his gloves.

“You’re,” tears should be falling down your face. They’re not. “You’re a waterbender. Let me-“ You’re voice is going dry and you have a good idea of why. “Let me g-” the words stop in your throat which is quickly growing patches of water. A hand moves to claw af your throat to remove the words you’re choking on before it stops midway up to your jugular. Your fingers curve and flex before your whole arm is forced to your side.

“Bloodbender.” He laughs, cruel and deep.

He plays with the orb of water - your tears.

“You look a little parched.” He gives a dark laugh and flicks his wrist again, and your arm twitches uncomfortably as you feel a rush of blood shoot through your body. Your tears move oh so slowly into your forced open mouth.

You can’t even swallow as the liquid your tears that endlessly fill your throat slides down into your stomach.

“I’m glad you offered to help the Equalists. You will be so useful.” His smirk returns, a cruel thing when not hidden by a mask. “I already feel better being able to bloodbend normally.”

He releases your mouth and you shut it closed, the ache in your jaw painfully acute.

“Please- please let me go, I won’t-” Is it better to report the man who is a bloodbender or to let him make all equal? “I won’t report you.”

“You won’t” The moon makes his smile glint. There’s something wrong in it.

“I won’t,” you try to nod but your neck is stuck in a permanent lock.

“You’re staying here with me pet. You’re too fun to let go of.”

--

so guess who got a little carried away? me. it was me. i’m guilty also now i love Amon. (Maybe it’s just his voice also oof... me writing only in clipped sentences oh you bet.) anyway thank you to the requester and thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoy!! also thank you to @animetrash420 for uhh beta reading my stuff,.... please ya’ll check her out she does haikyuu fluff and Free! fluff and its,,,, it’s so cute ya’ll